I stared at my computer screen. I have been on my laptop for the past two days trying to look for the most effective way to get my sons' trust, on how I can fill the time that has passed us. As much as I wanted to get close with them easily, I know I can't because we barely know each other. I sighed and scrolled down. All the sites are telling me the same things: camping, fishing, road trip... I can't do that. Firstly, camping takes too much time and so does road trips. As for fishing, there are no good lakes around our area so I can't do that. I yawned and checked the last on the list  ---- playing catch. Well, maybe that will do the trick! My dad and I got a little bonding time with baseball!

The next day, I waited for the boys to come home from school. I was anxiously walking on the front door as I anticipated their school bus.

"I see you're planning something." Ahjussi chuckled as he watched me play with the baseball glove that I was holding.

"I'm playing ball with the boys today." I smiled back. And threw him the ball.

"Sounds fun, eh?" He catched it and quickly thew it back.

"I hope we'll get to know each other well..."

"You know they love you that the boys are just so proud of you." He smiled at me. And gave me a quick pat on the back.

"Thank you, ahjussi." 

A few minutes later, Youngji and Jaeyoung finally arrived. They were chatting happily as they skipped through the yard. The latter greeted me with a small smile but Youngji just walked past me.

"Hey," I walked after them. "I just thought if you'd like to, uh, play ball?" The two stopped on their tracks. One seemed excited and the other seemed tense.

"What?" Youngji turned around and faced me. "Are you sick or something?" He eyed me suspiciously. Jaeyoung, on the other hand, was smiling excitedly at me. "No, I don't want to." He started to walk away. Jaeyoung pouted but followed his older brother.

"Can you give me a chance, Youngji-ah?" I pleaded him. I can't believe that I am pleading a child to play with me. What can I do? He's my son, anyway. "You know I'm sorry for everything and I just want to make up for all the time tht has passed us. I want to be a father for the two of you."

"Fine." Youngji sighed, put his bag down, dragged his feet and grabbed a glove. Jaeyoung followed him willingly and flashed another charming smile at me.

"Yunho-sshi, please throw the ball now." Youngji raised his glove. Although it hurts me to be called like that by my own son, I smiled and threw the ball. A little while later, we got into the game. The boys were running around and were evidently having fun. Then something unexpected happened.

Youngji threw the ball a little too hard and it went out it's way and hit Jaeyoung's face. We quickly ran to the young boy and checked what happened. I started shaking. His mouth was bleeding and he was bawling.

"I... I'm really sorry Jaeyoung." Youngji tried to calm his brother down with no success.

"You should've been a little more careful." I said in a stern voice. Youngji stiffened and glared at me. "I... I didn't mean to say it like that..." I tried to explain but Youngji was already slamming the front door.

I rushed Jaeyoung to the nearest clinic with him crying in pain in my arms. Sweat and tears were running down my face. I don't know how to deal with this. His mouth was bleeding and I can't help him. What kind of father am I?

After a few minutes, the pediatrician came out of the emergency room.

"Mr. Jung?" He called out. I rushed to him, held his shoulders and stared deeply into his eyes. "He's alright. He lost a tooth but he's going to be fine..." With that, I let my hands fall weakly to my side. What have I done...?

After that incident, Youngji never went near me. During meals, he would quickly finish eating then heads back to his room right after. Jaeyoung and I became closer. Maybe because he felt that I really cared for them. He started talking to me about how his day at school went and how he became the most famous kid in their grade. He also tells me stories about how smart his older brother is. His older brother was always the top of his class. He is also good at everything he does. Jaeyoung kept on saying that he was very jealous of his brother because his brother doesn't need the looks to be famous. While him, on the other side, had to be the class clown and someone who always have to give way to others. Guilt was pressing down on my chest. I didn't know how to make up for what I said. I'm not even sure if what I did was wrong.

"Young master?" Ahjussi knocked on my door. I wiped my tears and walked to the door.

"What is it, Ahjussi?"

"I heard what happened the other day..." I sighed and he stopped talking and just looked into my eyes.

"I don't know what to do..." Tears started to gather behind my eyes. "I just wanted to be a father. But I'm just a failure."

"What you did was acceptable, Yunho..." He said, dropping honorifics. "You had the right to be mad every once in a while..."

"I don't, ahjussi. I was never a father to them..."

"But your intentions were good. And what you did for Jaeyoung is very much what a father would do."

"But Youngji won't even talk to me bacause of that."

"He just took after you..." Ahjussi chuckled. "He's every bit as stubborn as you are."

"I guess so..." I managed to smile.

"I know how you can get along with him..." Ahjussi smiled.

"Where are we going, Yunho-sshi?" Youngji asked annoyed. I smiled at him in return and continued to drive. "Stop the car if you're not going to tell where we're going. I don't want to be dragged by you everywhere." His cold words peirced through my heart. How can someone so young have this much hatred?

"We're going to get you some peircings." I said casually. His jaw dropped and he stared at me, dumbfounded.

"You know I'm just eight, right?" He said.

"Yes."

"Then you must be crazy!"

"Youngji-ah. I'm not like any other father. I'm a young celebrity and I know how to give my life enjoyment." I glanced at him once, smiled meekly and continued to drive.

"And what makes you think I want my ears peirced?"

"I saw you magnetic earrings." I chuckled. I saw him look down and blush.

"Those were... for..." He trailed off.

"Hey, don't be shy. I used to do that until I was 13 and had my ears peirced."

"I still don't want it."

"Stop being so stubborn. You know I'm trying to be a good father to you."

"Well if you wanted to be a good father, you should've thought before choosing that celebrity status before us."

"I'm trying to make up for that now, Youngji..."

"Don't you think you're a little too late?"

"I know it's late but I am hoping for a chance. Give me a chance to become a father for the two of you."

"Do you know what I went through and am still going through my school because I was adopted? Did you know what I put at stake for everyone to leave Jaeyoung alone?"

"If you let me find out then I'd know."

"That wasn't my point. What I meant was you didn't know what I had to deal with when umma died. You have no idea how hard it was for me to be a mother and father to Jaeyoung at the age of three." I stopped the car and stared at him.

"Youngji, I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry I couldn't be there when you needed me."

"Why did you have to come back now?"

"I want to make up for everything. I want to be a father to you for once. I have thought about this and I knew I had to fulfill my duty as your father." He looked away and sighed. I then started driving again and headed to the place where I stress everything out.

"What are we doing here?" Youngji looked at the tall tree.

"I wanted to share this tree to you. Did you know that I used to climb this tree when I was your age?" I had a sad smile on my face. As much as I wanted to go back to those trouble-free days, I know I couldn't anymore since I'm a grown up now. I had to take care of my responsibilities.

"And? It's not like I know how to climb a tree."

"You don't know how to climb a tree?!" I looked at him in disbelief.

"I don't need that to live. It wouldn't help me in taking care of my brother, anyway..." He shrugged.

"You've missed a lot in your life, huh?" I sighed. I have taken away his childhood. It really made me guilty knowing that he couldn't enjoy his life.

"It wasn't my fault."

"I'm really sorry. Can you give me a chance to help you enjoy your youth? Can you let me spend time with you?" He looked away and kept the silence for a few minutes. I didn't have anything to say, afraid that my words will just cause him to resent me.

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