YunHo's POV

 

"JunSu-ah. Stop using your aegyo on every girl you meet!" Jae hit the younger boy's head.

 

"But hyung... they love me~" Junsu scratched his head.

 

"Shut up, Su." Jae snapped back.

 

 

I sulked on the couch, thinking of what I have just heard on the phone. They must be kidding me. Ami is still alive. She really can't leave me like this.

 

 

 

"Hyung, are you okay?" ChangMin waved his hand in front of me. I glared at him in return making the young boy back off.

 

"What's up, YunHo?" jae looked at me with worried eyes.

 

"Ami..." I choked out. "She's... gone..." I couldn't keep it in anymore. I sobbed in my hands. "She was in an accident earlier today..." I said between my cries. I know that all their eyes were on me now. Pity and worry enveloped the room. "I... don't know what to do..." Jea pulled me into an embrace.

 

"It's going to be alright." He whspered.

 

"No! It's not! Ami left me and YooGeun! With my job right now, how can I take care of our son?!"

 

"Stop freaking out, hyung. Relax. Pull yourself together..." Chunnie pat my head.

 

"It's easy for you to say. How can I relax when the only girl that I have loved like this was in an accident because I wasn't there to drive her safely! I wasn't even able to embrace her before... before... she left me." I started to cry again.

 

"Pull yourself together! Are you going to show that to your son? You should be strong for him. You still have us, YunHo hyung. We promised that we will help each other right?" JunSu looked at me.

 

"But... I can't help it... I..." I was lost for words. I was really thankful that I have such brothers.

 

"Hush... realx. We're going home tomorrow."

 

 

 

 

The boys were in a riot on the plane. YooChun and ChangMin were fighting over who won or lost in a puzzle game. JunSu was endlessly flirting with the stewardess. And Jae seems to be having fun with his PSP while drinking wine. I sighed, thinking about the accident again. I am really the worst fiance anybody could ever have. What's worse is that I have to leave my son whom I have promised to take care of to another person I barely know. It's not that I don't trust maids but a parent's care is still different.

 

 

"Hyung! Chunne hyung won't admit that he lost!!!" ChangMin whined.

 

"Come on. Stop being so childish." I grumbled.

 

"Chill, man. Don't be so angry." YooChun sighed.

 

"Just... ignore me, would you?"

 

"Stop snapping at us, Yunnei.' Jae sat beside me.

 

"Everything's annoying me... mianhae."

 

"I told you, everything must be alright. Yes, it would take time to recover but think of YooGeun as well. That kis can't see that you're depressed."

 

"He's eight months old for god's sake. What can he know?"

 

"People tend to repress their feelings. He might unconsciously pick up everything that's happening now."

 

"Since when did you become a psychologist, Jae?"

 

"I looked it up. Nevermind that. What I'm saying is that you should just focus on your son."

 

I sighed then looked out the window.

 

 

 

The clouds looked sad. They were fluffy yet a little dark. It was just like me. I still live like a strong person but deep inside me, everything is soft. Must of my insides are turning into liquid. My organs slowly being melted by the depression --- the hurt. My eyes started to well up again. I can't be that whole again. Never will I be that happy. Only Ami can complete me.

 

 

"We're here." Jae shook me. "Are you ready?"

 

I shook my head. "Do I have a choice?" I forced a smile then stood up.

 

 

Halmoni was waiting for me at the exit. I immediately ran to her. She pulled me into a tight embrace and started to sob on my chest. "Oh, YunHo-ah... what am I going to do?"

 

"H...halmoni..." I can't keep my tears inside anymore. I soon felt the hot liquid trace a wet line one my cheeks. "Why did this have to happen?"

 

"Hush, my dear. Let's go to the funeral now." She pat my back.

 

"I can't continue with my life anymore, halmoni-ah..." I said as I wiped my tears.

 

"Babo. Don't say that. Live on for your son. Ami wouldn't like having her son abandoned by a suicidal father." She my hair.

 

"But... how will I start again?"

 

"God has plans for you. You just have to live on." She took my arm then started walking. "Let's go to the funeral now."