18 Jul

Dear Eonnie, I was so scared today. 

Today, right before class started, Krystal walked up to me. She had ignored me for a long time, since I joined Running Man, so I was quite surprised. She didn't say anything, but she titled her head towards the corridor, then she walked out. I followed her. 

"Are you happy now?" she asked. Her tone was flat, but her eyes... her eyes, I couldn't read. Was it pity? Sadness? Envy?

"I..." I didn't know what to answer. I guess I was in a better place when I started off, you know, compared to when you just left. I felt better compared to when she first betrayed me. But was I happy? Will I ever be happy again now that part of me is gone...?

"Your club will be disbanded," she informed me. At that point, I was just hurt, confused, immensely disappointed. Only now, as I write this, I realise she was trying to help me. Or to warn me. 

I must have had looked at her disbelievingly, because she continued, "My mother is in the Parents Committee. She told me about it."

I could only stare at her wordlessly then. My chest tightened, the way it did when I realised you had left, or when I realised Seo Young was leaving, or when Krystal had betrayed me.

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