After the scolding and all. We continued walking, with all the handicaps removed. But still, we weren’t in the mood to talk anymore, not even Jae Suk. So we just walked silently. Everyone seemed tired and guilty.

Finally, we reached the clearing that we were required to go. It was around 3 by then. We had a lunch break, then started to set up the area. Most of us helped to set up the tents, but the teachers wanted people to get firewood for the campfire later. Jae Suk and Haha volunteered to go, but I decided that I should go instead, since I had the easiest job just now.

"But..." Jae Suk protested. "You must be tired too," he said.

“You guys suffered so much just now. I should have done more…” I explained.

Jae Suk gave my shoulders a squeeze. “You’ve done a lot,” he said, but agreed to let me go. Gary offered to follow me.

We had to walk quite a bit into the forest for the firewoods. The walk was mostly silent, until Gary instructed me to make markings on the floor in case we got lost. So I put stones or twigs on the ground every 5 minutes of walking, while he carried the firewood and some dried leaves.

“What happened to you and Haha,” I asked again, watching him closely.

He hesitated, but vaguely explained. “He said something for my own good. But it pissed me off.”

Then there was silence, until I said, “That’s what true friends do right?”

“What?”

“Not afraid to tell you things that might piss you off. Because it was for your own good.”

His lips curled up a little, and I think it meant that he really appreciated having Haha around too.

My chest tightened a little, as I thought of how I persuaded Krystal not to cheat, but it turned out… I shook that memory out of my head, trying not to be upset about it. If that hadn’t happened, then I wouldn’t have joined Running Man, right?

As if knowing that I got reminded of something, he patted my shoulder lightly and smiled.

I helped him with his bags of dried leaves since his firewood bag was getting heavier.

“I think it’s enough,” he finally said. I nodded and we started to turn back. We followed the markings, I placed, but after some point, I couldn’t recognise my own marking anymore. There seemed to be too many stones or twigs around, or the special stone I put disappeared.

“What happened?” Gary asked, when he saw my confused look.

“I… the markings seemed to be mixed up,” I confessed.

He looked at me, stunned. He stayed silent for a moment, then finally said, “Let’s try to remember the way. We should remember some other things about the route right?”

I agreed to try, but there were too many intersections, and we couldn’t find our way back.

I could see Gary’s calm façade fading away, and he seemed increasing flustered. I was also getting worried. We made new markings to make sure we don’t repeat the wrong route, but we still ended up wandering for an hour.

The sky was getting dark with rain clouds.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered shakily to Gary. How come I just couldn’t go anything right? Tears welled in my eyes.

“Hey, hey,” he said, putting down his bag of firewood. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” he said gently, his soft eyes searching my lost eyes.

“Accidents happen. Maybe the winds messed up the markings. Or some stray animals. It’s okay,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

“But we’re going to get stuck here, and they can’t have their campfire, and…”

“You have to stop thinking that everything’s your fault,” he said, this tone turning serious. “Not this, not the mission just now.” He paused.

“And not Krystal’s betrayal,” he said quietly. “Nor your sister’s death.”

He looked away abruptly, as if shocked that he said it out. I was shocked too. How much did he know about me?

“I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly.

“It’s okay,” I mumbled.

We sat in the rain and watched as the rain started to fall.

“What do you think of the team?” he asked me suddenly.

I thought for a moment, taking the time to phrase my answer carefully.

“I think they’re all nice people,” I said. “Nice people who’ve been hurt before, and maybe afraid to be nice again.”

He looked at me curiously.

I took a deep breath.

“Haha told me that when people get hurt too much, they choose to hide in a place deep inside of them, so no one can hurt them anymore.”

Then, mustering up my courage, I put my hand over his.

“Don’t be afraid to come back out again,” I said softly.

He looked stunned. Confusion whirled in his eyes.

“We’ll wait for you,” I said. “Haha, and I, and everyone else in the team. We’ll help everyone to come out of that dark place.”

He nodded, his eyes red and watery as he struggled to contain his tears.

We continued to sit in silence, until the rest of the team came running towards us, soaked in water. It had been more than 2 hours since we left the group.

“What happened to you guys!” Jae Suk exclaimed, his voice full of worry. 

Haha immediately went over to Gary, fussing over him.

“We got lost,” I admitted. “The markings I left were messed up.”

“Are you okay guys okay?” Suk Jin asked, holding out a soaked handkerchief and trying to dry me with that.

“It’s already so wet,” Haha laughed, pushing his handkerchief away from my face.

“You guys came for us despite the rain,” Gary said, looking at them gratefully.

“Of course! We were so worried!” Haha exclaimed, standing up to prove his point.

“Yeah, we thought some tigers ate you up,” Kwang Soo said monotonously, but we laughed, knowing that it was a joke.

“Who would want to eat these bags of bones?” Jong Kook laughed sarcastically. It was his presence that surprised me the most. Of everyone in the team, he was the most reluctant to open up to us. But here he is, braving the rain to save us.

“Thank you,” I said to the boys.

“What are you saying?” Jae Suk laughed, ruffling my hair. “We’re a family.”

“Group hugggg,” Haha laughed playfully, and pulled us all into a hug.

We are a family.

Later, after we got back and dried up, the teachers explained to us that they intentionally mixed up our markings. They wanted to see how long it took for them to start worrying a