4 Jul 2012

Dear Eonnie,

Well… today was another chaotic day. Nowadays, I don’t seem to get any peace, do I?

It started off pretty well. Uh, well, as well as first day of school gets. The team (minus Gary, Jong Kook, and Kwang Soo) gathered in the room in the morning. I was practising my singing with Haha, Suk Jin was just napping. Jae Suk was just sitting there, waiting for time to past. I wanted to talk to him, but Haha said not to.

“Give him some time. Even Suk Jin is leaving him alone.”

Me: But, we should still let him know that we’re here for him.

Haha: He knows.

I shrugged, casually commenting that he seem to read people well.

Haha sighed. “Comes with training.” We both knew he meant Gary.

“You two must have been really close,” I said.

His eyes shone as he spoke. I’ve seen him happy before, but never so animatedly.

“He was such a sportsman, you know. Martial arts, running, basketball… Man, he was the idol of the boys and the dream guy for every girl. You should have seen his fans! He was such a cool guy, full of charisma.”

I couldn’t hide my look of surprise. Gary? Having fans?

Haha shook his head knowingly, and added glumly, “He could be anyone’s friend, but he chose me. Taught me stuff, mentored me, listened to me, lent me a shoulder to cry on, lent me a place to sleep, fed me… but I…”

“You didn’t know,” I said gently, but he just smiled, nodding. I didn’t say anything else. We practised for a while more before the bell rang and we dashed to morning assembly.

Literature class today was especially intriguing. We learnt about dilemmas.

Teacher Im: Does anyone know what a dilemma is?

“Not knowing what to do.”

“Being stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

“Can’t choose between two options.”

He nodded.

“There are various forms of dilemma,” he continued. “The most common form is probably choosing between what you want to do and what you should do.”

We then watched various clips about dilemma.

Then, a student, Bolin, asked, “So, which should we choose?”

Teacher Im frowned and stayed silent for a moment. Then he finally said, “Truthfully, even now, I’m still figuring out. Many times, the most logical decision does not coincide with the right one. And neither is the right decision easy…” He paused, scanning the class.

Then, he sighed again. “But then, there may not be any ‘right’ answers. After all, there is no answer to life. But still, I implore you, when you are faced with a dilemma, think through your choices carefully, weigh the consequences of each action before deciding.”

That earned some groans from the class.

“If you still can’t decide, then, listen to your heart. Deep inside you, you’d have decided. And once you’ve listened