26 May 2012

Eonnie,

I told eomma that I had to go back to school during the holidays for band practice.

Part of me wished that she wouldn’t question me, but part of me wished that she would ask “I thought you were in the arts club.”

I want to tell her that Seo Young had left and Krystal and I are not on good terms, and that I was kicked out of the arts club. I want to tell her that I’m going to participate in a competition soon. I want her to hug me and tell me that I can do it, and that things will get better.

But instead, she just nods.

Sometimes, I wonder how different she would be if you were still around, eonnie.

I miss her as much as I miss you. It’s like she’s around, but not here anymore…

28 May 2012

Eonnie,

Today was the first practice… but there was no teachers.

Jong Kook oppa was first to arrive. Then I was second. It was awkward with just the two of us. He practically ignored me and read his book. So I just pretended to use my phone. Then it was Kwang Soo who came. They didn’t talk either, and we were all awkward. I think that Kwang Soo is still a little hostile towards me. I should apologise to him. I’ll find a way somehow.

Next, it was Haha who arrived. He greeted everyone cheerily. I wanted to ask him where’s Gary, but I didn’t dare to. He talked to Kwang Soo for a bit, then switched to Jong Kook. He just nodded and smiled at me.

Then, Suk Jin oppa and Jae Suk oppa arrived. With them, the room became noisy. They started questioning everyone about their weekends and holiday plans. They’re so lively, I couldn’t help but smile and listen to them chat.

By 10, Gary hasn’t arrived yet (the meeting time was 9), and Jong Kook oppa was obviously pissed.

“Where’s he,” he demanded to know, looking at Haha and I. I shrugged and looked away.

“He’s coming soon,” Haha offered softly. Jong Kook grumbled, but didn’t say anything more.

“Is he really reaching?” I whispered to Haha. He nodded.

True to his words, Gary arrived soon after.

“Sorry, I’m late,” he mumbled, and swung his bag to the table.

“Let’s start,” Jong Kook oppa said.

We looked at each other, not knowing what to do.

“First, let’s list down what are our individual strengths,” Jong Kook oppa said, rolling his eyes.

So here we go-

JS: Dancing

SJ: Singing, playing t