If I like you, I'm going to regret it. I know, I know.. If I love you, it's going to ruin me. I know, I know..

But I keep getting in by you. It's not what I inteded.

I keep thinking that I shouldn't feel this way. But the more I do, the more that..

I'm so afraid of you. I want to erase you, who has made me this way..

I'm so afraid of you. Who are you to make me cry? Please go from me, baby..

I'm so afraid of my heart. My fragile heart that is gradually running to you.

I'm so mad at myself for feeling this way. I keep on yearning for you. I'm so afraid.

[Tina's point of view]

As I got out of the ladies restroom, I heard a familiar voice not far away. I was about to walk away, with no plans on invading someone else's privacy, until I heard, "White asked me if I could get a girlfriend to prove our "straightness" to Tina! Can you believe it?!" I stop in track and turn to look towards the boy's bathroom, where the voice was coming from. Although I knew who it belonged to, I needed to make sure that my ears weren't deceiving me. Taking a small peek inside, I see Captain standing over a corner of the bathroom. One thing that caughts my attention is that tears are rolling down his face. I don't understand it. Why was this affecting him so much?

"Why did I have to fall in love with him, Pineare?! Loving him is harder than I thought! I don't know how long I'll be able to control my emotions before I explode!", I heard him declare and my eyes widened at his words. I stand frozen as I try to process what I just heard. Did he just.. My thoughts were cut as I heard footsteps nearing. Quickly, I made my way back to our table, where White waited by himself. 

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Captain.. Captain had just admitted to being in love with another man and that man was no other than my boyfriend! I was right all along. All these crazy feelings I have been having were not just me suddenly turning into this clingy, insecure girlfriend but my instinct telling me that something was wrong.  All this time, while we were seeing him as nothing but a younger brother, he had been lusting after White! I didnt know if I should feel betrayed.. disgusted, repulsed even.. I don't even know why would I feel that way when I have friends like Captain. But why White? From all the guys around him, why my boyfriend?

"Oh, what happened to you?", White asked me as I seated down on the table. "Eh? No-nothing!", I stuttered, feeling nervous suddenly. Why was I nervous? If I told White about what I heard, how would he feel? Will he feel disgusted or will he feel pleased? Wait! What if he already knows and that's why he's been extra caring towards Captain?! What if he leaves me for him?! 

As my heart starts to become frightened, I feel White's palm rest on my back. "Are you sure you are alright? You look as if you had seen a ghost.", White asks with a concerned look. No... White wouldn't leave me, right..?  "White, if Captain..", As I'm wording a sentence, Captain finally appears in front of us. The tears that had been rolling down his cheeks just a moment ago are long gone. And his pained expression has returned to the one that had been before he left. "Oh, Captain?! Is everything alright?", As soon as White spots Captain, his whole attention is placed on the boy. I can't control myself from rolling my eyes at the attention that he is receiving. Wasn't he worried about me a moment ago?! 

"I.. I'm sorry, White but I think I have to go..", Captain informs us with an apolgetic expression and I can't feel any more relieved. "What?! Why?! Is something wrong?!", White stands up from his chair and walks over to Captain to check if the other is fine. "I'm alright, don't worry. It's just that I forgot I have an errand to make. I'm sorry I can't stay any longer.", Captain explains as he brings out his wallet to give us money for the food he had consumed. "No, don't. I'm paying for you, remember?", My boyfriend returns the money immediately.

"Thank you, P.", Captain gives White a grateful smile and then turns to me and bows his head slightly, "And thank you P'Tina, for inviting me. I had a good time." Knowing very well that he is lying, I turn to look elsewhere and don't reply back. I didn't want to see him in this moment. He had been lying to me and to White all this time. How could he keep pretending? How could I feign ignorance? "Hmm.. Anyways, I have to go now. Goodbye.", Captain bids farewell and starts to turn around to leave, but as he is doing that, White holds onto his hand and stops him. 

They look at each other for a few seconds before White makes an offer, "Let us drop you off, at least?" Captain shakes his head and let's out a sigh, "No. It's okay, P. I have someone to pick me up already. Goodbye." Captain pulls away and leaves the restaurant. I stare at my boyfriend as he stands still and stares in the direction in which Captain went. Although he was giving me his back, I could tell that he was concerned for the other. Even though I knew all of this was nonsense, I couldn't help but wonder.. what were White's feelings for Captain?

[White's Point Of View]

I stare at Captain's back as he leaves the restaurant and realize that I've made him angry at me once again. Even though he said he had an errand to make,  I know him very well to know when he is lying. I want to run after him,  but right now, I can't seem to move from my spot. It's as if my limbs weren't a part of me. No matter how much I try to take a step forward in his direction, they don't budge.. Once again, I've made Captain miserable and I am not doing anything about it. Argh! Now I'm really angry at myself. How could've been so unconsiderate towards him? I should put myself in his shoes. I asked him to get a girlfriend and didn't put his feelings in consideration. I'm such an ! He used to think that I cared more about Tina than about our friendship. And with what I did today, I only proved him right. 

Holding my head down with both of my hands, I release a deep sigh that can be heard from miles away. "White.. Are  you alright?", Suddenly, I hear my name being called. Slowly putting down my hands, I look at the source of the voice who is now standing next to me and looking at me with concern. I can feel her palm gently my back and I know that I shouldn't be acting this way. But even with Tina by my side, I can't seem to calm myself down. Returning back to my previous position, I just shake my head as I can't seem to form any words to reply to her.

"White! Please! Tell me what's wrong?! Why are you acting like this?!", And now Tina is begging me for answers. She slightly holds my shoulder and shakes me, expecting an answer to clear the awkward situation that she is now facing. Realizing that I don't need any more people getting angry at me, I turn to face her and fake a smile. "Sorry. I am just having a slight headache suddenly. Everything is alright. Sorry for making you worry.",  I told her as I tried to reassure her of my well being.

She stares at me in disbelief but lets out a sigh in the end, and tells me in a defeated voice, "Let's go home now. You need to rest well. We also don't want people around us thinking that something wrong is happening. They might suspect or create rumors if they saw you like this.." I silently agree to her statement and immediately pay the bill. While greeting those around us, we bid them farewell and move out from the restaurant. Right now, I don't have the mood to entertain any of my fans so I quickly and quietly get into my car. I want to send Tina home as fast as I can. Don't judge me. I love my girlfriend's company but right now, I really need to be alone.

[Captain's Point Of View]

The journey feels like without ending. My eyes keep looking at the endless road in front of me. I am trying to hold onto whatever energy that is still left in me. My hands form a fist and I am sweating so much that I have to keep wiping it again and again. If it weren't for the soft cusion of the seat and hard handle of the taxi, I might have already collapsed. White's words from earlier and his shameful request keep lingering in my mind, making it harder to breathe every time.

"He is just a brother to me.. " Brother? Brother? Brother?! That is the one word that keeps punding inside my head. You already knew that, Captain! Why is it hurting you so much?! White already had Tina. He sees you as a friend, a colleague, a co-worker and most importantly, a brother. Get that through your thick skull already! You are only making a fool of yourself, damn it! 

"Find a girlfriend. Just think about it. If you get a girlfriend, there would be no doubt that we are both straight." Me? Find a girlfriend to prove that I'm straight? But what if I'm not straight..? Does that make me lose my value..? And what if I'm in love with you..? Would that make you hate me? Of course he is going to hate me! What did I thought? That he was going to accept my feelings? I'm such an idiot! And now I'm at war against myself. The more I am trying to resist the commotion within me, the more I am losing myself. Why is it so hard to control my feelings? Why do tears keep appearing in my eyes against my will?

As I am trying to control myself, I can feel the vibration of my phone signaling me that I have a new message. Feeling a little drained out, I slowly pull out my phone and look at the screen. My eyes keep staring at the phone's screen when I realize who the sender is. It is from the person that has caused me so much pain. White.. He is checking whether I am okay or not; asking me whether I am already reaching home; and once again, apologizing to me. You don't have to do this, White.. Not when I am still trying to get rid of these feelings towards you. It's funny what our friendship had turned into in the last two weeks. He only hurts me unintentionally and then apologizes without knowing what I'm angry about.. If we keep going like this, I wonder how long will it take him to get tired of me..

The taxi finally stops in front of my favorite refuge; my home. Dragging myself out of the taxi after paying a very concerned driver, I slowly make my way up to my room. My mother is nowhere around so I guess she is probably already in her room. And my sister, well.. she never pays attention to me anyways. Upon reaching my room, I throw myself on the soft cushion of my mattress. Releasing a deep sigh, I slowly let out all of the tears that had accumulated in the corners of my eyes. Curling myself tightly into a ball, I release out all the pain and frustration that have been filling me. I can't seem to stop myself from crying. I feel like it's the only thing I can do at the moment. My mother would always say that crying was the best consolation. Well, I can attest to that lately..

After about ten minutes of soaking myself in my own tears, I feel my phone vibrate signaling me that someone is calling. Oh please! Not White! Don't let him call me! I don't want to talk to him yet! I silently pray that is not him as I slowly turn to look at the screen. Oh! Pineare?! She's calling! Oh, I guess I owe her a call after what she knew about the dinner and my condition during that time. Picking the phone hurriedly, I answer her call, "Hello...?"

"Captain?! Oh my god, Captain?! Can you hear me?! Are you okay?! Why does your voice sound like that?! Are you home already?!", As soon as I answer, I'm bombarded with questions that I am unable to answer as I am still trying to stabilize myself after soaking myself in tears miserably. "I am home already. I am just tired about all this drama I'm causing to myself, I guess..", I tell her the honest truth. Better be straight forward and honest about it.

"Well, you better take a good rest after this.. I am still shocked that you went to have dinner with both of them. I am really worried about  it. You shouldn't do that again. You're only going to hurt yourself.", She tells me with concern and tries to advice me to not do it again. "I know, I know.. I am still regretting it.. But right now, I am exhausted. Physically and mentally. Thank you so much for your concern but I would really just need to rest.", I tell her and hope for her to understand and not feel offended or hurt. 

"I understand that you need to rest but things may not resolve by just pushing them aside..", Yet, she doesn't let me go and keeps talking, making my headache become more intense. I really don't need this right now. My head is pounding so hard that it feels like some african tribe is doing their sacrifice ceremony inside of it. "Pineare.. I don't want to sound rude but right now, I just want to be alone. Would you mind leaving me alone for today? You can call me tomorrow and keep giving me your sermon but not today..", I tell her in a exhausted voice and hear her let out a sigh.

"Okay.. Take care of yourself, okay? If you need anything, dont forget to call me. Sweet dreams and sleep well!", She tells me before we both agree to hang up on the phone. As I slowly put down my phone, I close my eyes and try to put my body and mind at ease. I am trying to relax and release all the tension I am currently feeling through my whole body.. 

White...White.. White..

With that name in my mind slowly taking over my mind, I drift to the world of loneliness and emptiness that consumes me peace by peace.

[Author's Notes]

Hello~ We are back with Part 2! I know that I'm late to the party once again, but Happy Valentines~!! (Very late actually..) I hope that you all had fun with friends and loved ones! Because I've been very sick, it was a lonely valentines ~.~ Either way, I hope that you enjoy reading this chapter!! Once again, I want to thank Christina (White/Captain)  and Vannessa (Tina) who were in charge of writing this two chapters on their own! I've been very congested and haven't been able to participate much! Normally, I do one out of the two kiddos but this time, I just couldnt think straight. Next chapter will also been done by them alone! I'm coming back though.. Sooooon.. *creepy face* So please wait for me!! Because when I do, I'll make you get emotional! HWAHAHA!! *coughs*

[This is Aleyda if you haven't realized it]