My hands tremble as the memories of love come back to me coldly..

Now, I don't want to deny you anymore, but I know that..

No matter how close we are, I can't love you anymore..

I can't think of you.. Waiting for you is so difficult..

I can't endure this no more.. This love cannot be fulfilled..

The name I loved before has become more and more distant as I call it.

Now, I'm writing your name on a paper and I want to keep it in my heart.

I cannot love anyone besides you, I realized it now.

Even the love that cannot be, is still known as "Love".

[Captain's Point Of View]

Here I am waiting for Pineare and Ssing to buy us the movie ticket. There are not many people around us because its a weekday so I am thankful because of that. I don't think I would be able to act properly in front of my fans as my heart is still trying to heal itself up. So many things had happened in the past days and I knew that things would never get to be the same as before. But at least I could live my life without regrets and without hiding my true feelings. White already knew about my feelings and although I had hoped for a different outcome, what happened was done deal and holding onto it was useless now. I was no longer in White's friend list and maybe he didn't want to see me anymore. It wouldn't surprise me if he deleted my phone number. But despite the pain this brought me, I needed to move on and forget about him.

"Isn't it great that not many people are around? We can concentrate on watching the movie more!", Ssing's voice suddenly wakes me up from my thoughts. Slowly, I nod my head agreeing to his statement. Pineare is now holding two big buckets of popcorn in her hands while Ssing is holding our mineral waters and our tickets. I extend my hands to take the popcorn buckets from her but she pulls back from me. "No, not yet. You will get your share once inside the theater. Right now, we want to treat you like a prince. Come on, Prince Captain!", Pineare replied jokingly, making me smile with her. "Thanks god you're smiling again!", I hear Ssing let out a sigh of relief as he is able to see me smile once again. 

As we move towards the theater's entrance door, I glance at the couple beside me. Ssing is really a warm and carying boyfriend and Pineare is really an adorable little girl. They both seem to have a good relationship, where there's mutual trust. I'm a little envious, if I'm honest. But more than envious, I'm glad for both of them. I also wished that one day, I could have a love like theirs. 

"Let's go in.", As we reach the corner of the path, I hear a familiar voice echoing through the hallway and stop in track. Can it be? Is that him? Is he around here or are my ears playing a cruel trick on me? We turn around the corner to enter the entrance door and that is when I see him. By the entrance door, stood a person that I really didn't want to see at this very moment. He wears a simple white shirt with a dark blue jean. With his hair perfectly combed, he smiles brightly. His smile fades as soon as he sees me standing in front of him. Obviously he wasn't hoping to see me either. "White?! Tina?!", I hear Pineare gasp beside me and feel the awkward atmosphere that suddenly surrounds us. I can't do nor say anything in this moment. It feels as if time had stopped as each one of us stands frozen, staring awkwardly one another.

"Oh, Hi Captain. Are you going to see this movie too?", Suddenly I can hear Tina's voice calling me. Turning my attention to the person next to White, I am still unable to utter a word. Even though she gives me a friendly smile, I am positive that she is now laughing at me. Feeling more depressed, I slowly look down unable to look at her hypocrite face. "Why don't you join us? It would be fun having all of White's friends together. Especially you, Captain.", She continues adding salt onto the wound. I know there is no sincerity in those words. She is just being.. What should I call her? A .

I also realize something. Pineare is staring at her and her face is really red as if she was holding back her anger. I can notice that she is holding the popcorn buckets too closely as if she was about to throw them at Tina's face. I don't blame her for feeling that way as I also am holding back from exploding against Tina. As the environment around us becomes more and more awkward, Tina turns to face White and starts to cling on him. "White, you wouldn't mind, right? We never have your friends with us while we are on a date. Just for today, okay? Later you will have me all to yourself!", Now she is doing aegyo and its making me feel frustrated as I can't do nothing. I feel like I am going to faint any minute now. What did I ever do to deserve this? All I ever did was be sincere to myself and to those around me.

From the corner of my eyes, I can see that White is also feeling uneasy with everything that's happening. I can feel that he is just as frustrated as I am. I am not sure if its because of my presence or because of Tina's behavior. But one thing is for sure, he looks like he wants to run away. "Excuse me please. I want to go to the restroom.", Pushing Tina aside, White suddenly excuses himself to go to the restroom. I guess this is too much for him that he needs some space to cool down. Well, I don't blame him; I also want to run away. But if I do that, I know will end up meeting him at the restroom too and being alone with me might make him uncomfortable. As he walks pass us, I can't help to look at his every step. I know he realizes that I am looking at him but he makes no effort on looking back. His expression is so cold, so different from the White that I know. It really makes my heart hurt badly.

Once White has disappeared inside the nearest bathroom, Tina moves closer to me. "You actually did it, huh? I didn't think you would have the guts to let him know about your feelings. Guess I was wrong.", Her words now feel like a knife stabbing on my chest. I really don't want to do this. I don't want to fight. I am already trying hard to recover and I don't have that much energy left in me. "And I guess these two also know about it and are trying to comfort you, right? Well, what a good friends you have here.", Tina addresses Pineare and Ssing with a voice full of sarcasm and continues to make me feel worse.

"Please, P. Lets not talk about it anymore. It's done deal. You won so what else do you want from me? Please don't drag my friends into all of this.", I have to reply to her to stop her from dragging Pineare and Ssing into the conversation. They don't deserve to be treated this way. "Well, I just want to make sure you understood where you are supposed to be. White is mine and it is good that you admit he will never be yours! So you should stay-", Tina isn't able to finish the last sentence before a loud voice interrupts her, "Enough Tina!"

Everyone turns to look at Pineare who is now dumping all the popcorn buckets onto Ssing's arms. She comes nearer between me and Tina as she continues, "Haven't you done enough?! What else do you want from all of this! You've already caused him enough pain by forcing him to confess, and now you plan to continue rubbing salt onto his wounds?!" Pineare really cannot hold her anger back any longer and is screaming out her thoughts, pronouncing all the things I haven't been brave to say.

[White's Point Of View]

I can't believe he is here! From all the persons I could've encountered today, It had to be him! I guess this is what we call fate and we were destined to cross paths over and over again, no matter how much we tried to stay away from each other. And I can't say that I hated to see him, but it wasn't the right time yet. I still hadn't come up with an answer to his confession. I was still so confused and had mixed feelings inside me. In one hand, I was angry at him for deceiving me all of this time. But on the other hand, there was a part of me that felt excited at this new discovery. I didn't know why I felt that way nor what my heart was trying to tell me. Therefore, I wanted some time away from him to be able to understand these newly found feelings. But how could I have time to myself when he kept appearing before me?!

Standing in front of the mirror, I stare at my reflection and question myself once again. White, what are your real feelings for Captain? I had thought about it over and over, trying to come up with an answer to this whole mess but I still hadn't been able to find one. And I didn't understand why I was feeling this way suddenly. Two days ago, I believed that my feelings for Captain were only brotherly love but after his confession, I stopped being so sure.  Why did it felt as if my feelings for him were slowly changing? Why did it felt as if these feelings were so much more than what I thought? Argh! I hated this so much! I didn't want to become like Phun, who got his heart divided into two. I had Tina and she was enough for me. She was the perfect girlfriend and I couldn't repay her love like that. She had already gone through multiple heartbreaks for me to add one more. She didn't deserved that, specially not because of a boy. No, White! You have to get a hold of yourself! For Tina's sake and for your own sake too!

Splashing water to my face to cool down and taking a deep breath, I begin to make my way out of the restroom. But as I am leaving through the door, a voice that I recognize too well makes me stop in track. "Why are you blaming me?! I did the right  thing! How could I allow White be fooled while Captain lusted over him?! That would make me a bad girlfriend, wouldn't it?!", Tina's voice spoke from a short distance, making me widen my eyes as I listened to the conversation. Although that voice came out of my girlfriend, there was something in her voice that I didn't recognize. It was full of venom and hatred. Peeking outside to make sure that my ears aren't deceiving me, I look at the two girls that are currently glaring at each other. Besides them, two boys stand in silence as the atmosphere grows tense. The shorter one of them is biting his lip as if he was containing a cry from slipping through. And I realize that the argument between the two had to do with him. 

"Oh, really?! Was it really for White's sake or was it for yours?! Because from my perspective, you only wanted to destroy their friendship because you couldn't stand your own insecurities!", Pineare's voice resonates in my mind, as I begin to understand what is going on. Captain didn't confess to me out of will; he had been forced by my girlfriend, Tina! And everyone knew about it, except me!

I find my hands forming a fist as anger boils inside of me. I'm so angry that I could bore a hole in the wall. I'm angry at the two of them. I'm angry at Tina for doing what she did. I'm angry at Captain for telling everyone what happened. But at the same time, I'm angry at myself for being fooled by all of them.  

Not being able to stand in the shadows anymore,  I begin to make my way towards the group. Captain raises his head and looks longingly my way, but his eyes widen in fear when he seems me walking towards them. Following after him, the other three persons look my way with just as much fear.

"You told them too?!", I tell Captain angrily as I join them. He simply lowers his head and whispers an apology. "White, let us explain..", I hear Pineare's speak to me softly but right now, I am in no mood to listen to any explanation. "Tina. We are leaving.", I say sternly and without saying another word, I turn around and begin to leave. I can hear Pineare's voice call out for me, but I have no intention on stopping my raced steps. I know I was being very rude towards Pineare and Ssing, who had no fault in this. I also knew that I was being very cruel to Captain, who didn't deserve to be treated in this way despite his faults. But in this moment, I was too angry to care.

I didn't even want to look at the girl that was walking behind me in silence. Honestly, she was the least person I wanted to see right now. More than my anger towards the other three, my anger towards her was enormous. Because of her damn insecurity and jealousy, things became this complicated. If only she hadn't forced Captain to confess, I could've continued living my life in ignorance. But because she had to meddle with someone else feelings, today I found myself in a difficult position. And although I knew she did it for me, I couldn't help but wonder, was it really for my sake or was it for her own?

Once we are inside the car, she finally dares to speak to me, "White.." I hear her say my name in a silent voice and feel her hand reaching out to my cheek. But her touch now burns and I find myself flinching away without realizing it. "How could you do that to us, Tina?! You destroyed my friendship with Captain!", I scream at her as I feel my eyes getting watery, in both anger and sadness. At my sudden accusation, she screams back at me, "What else was I supposed to do?! Captain was lusting after you! I couldn't let you be fooled like that!"

Not being able to hold my emotions anymore, I cross my arms over the driving wheel and hide my face in them, allowing myself to cry in silence. Why was my heart aching so much? Who was I crying for? Was it for Captain or for Tina? I didn't even know anymore. Everything I once believed in had been distorted. And now I was in front of the hardest moment of my life. "White, listen to me! What happened is done deal! You should forget about it and move on! You don't need Captain in your life! All you need is me and our love!", The person next to me tells me as I cry silently. "You don't need Captain is your life!" That sentence resonates in my mind, making my heart ache more. All this time, Captain had only been a friend to me. Someone that I loved dearly; but someone that wasn't indispensable in my life. But today, thinking about a day without him made my insides turn in pain, making me question myself again. Was he still only a friend to me?

And when I find the answer to my question, I also realize that we can't go on like this anymore. None of the three of us deserved it. We couldn't keep fooling ourselves anymore. Things had changed inside of me and they wouldn't ever be the same again. Not for me. Not for Captain. Not even for Tina. Just like Captain had been true to the person he loved, It was my turn to be true to the person who I loved. I couldn't become like Phun, who kept fooling around with two persons at a time, unable to choose one. I needed to only choose one of them and right now, I wasn't ready to take that decision. I know that I was being unfair to Tina but I also knew that I couldn't keep deceiving her. I had finally realized that my feelings for Captain were bigger than I thought. And I needed to get rid of them before I could love Tina wholeheartedly. I felt that it was the right thing to do in this case.

"Let's.. give us some time..", Finally making up my mind, I bring my mouth to mutter those painful words. The person beside me tenses as she tries to process my request. "Wha-what do you mean?!", Her voice breaks as she is unable to understand the situation I'm putting her in. Raising my head and looking at her, I try to be sincere to her, "I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Everything is so blurry. I need time to think and find a solution to all of this. And I don't think I can do that with both of you near me."

Looking at me with watery eyes, she shakes her head, "No! You can't do this to me! Please don't leave me!" Feeling my heart ache at the tears that are now rolling down her cheeks, I bring her inside of my embrace and try to console her. "Please, Tina.. Try to understand.. I really don't want to hurt you.. But I need to do this for both of us..", I try to reason with her, as I caress her long silky hair. 

I know that I was being an ; The worse person on earth, possibly.

                                               But I needed to do this.. For her sake and for mine too.

[Author's Point Of View]

Good day, everyone! As this is my first time to let my presence known to all of you lovely readers, let me introduce myself. I'm Vannessa *Waves*. I'm three decades old. Though I may not look like it. I am Filipina. I'm a huge fan of TVXQ and JYJ and if you can't tell by that yet, I love Kpop (Though I've lie lowed more recently) I love eating and Im all for trying different cuisines (but I know for sure that I wont be able to eat snakes, dogs, and the likes he he) I like making friends however Im not really a good talker and I have a resting face so I always come off as someone snob or aloof, added to that I don't really talk much. But don't hesitate to talk to me, I don't bite.. much.