Its okay if your breath gets short. No one is blaming you.

You can make mistakes from time to time. Everyone else does it too.

If I tell you it's alright, I know that it's only words.

When someone sighs; A breath deep as that.

How am I supposed to understand it?

Your sigh; Even though I won't be able to understand it's depth, It's okay.

I will embrace you.

[Tina's Point Of View]

I turn to look at the clock in the classroom's wall to find its hands pointing at 3:28pm. The school's bell was about to ring and there was no trace of my boyfriend yet. If things had gone according to how I planned, Captain would've confessed to him by now. But how come I still had no clue of how things had gone or where my boyfriend was? Not knowing these details really had me on the edge today. White didn't come to class and to make matters worse, he wasn't answering my calls nor responding to my messages. I knew that something had happened for him to be acting in this way. He either was very upset or if I was unlucky, enjoying his time beside him..

No, it can't be.. White wouldn't do that to me, would he..? I question myself, feeling my heart sink in fear. 

Ring.

The school bell finally makes its announcement, making me jump in my chair at its suddenness. I stand up from my seat and begin to walk out of the classroom with one thought in mind. If White wasn't going to look for me, I was going to go look for him. I needed to get the answers to my questions or I wouldn't be able to be at peace. 

After half an hour, the taxi finally stops in front of the house I've grown so familiar with. Paying the fee and bidding farewell to the elderly driver, I get off of the car and make my way through the gate and towards the wooden entrance door. After knocking on it a couple of times, the woman who gave birth to my boyfriend finally answers the door.

"Oh, Tina?", She looks at me surprised, as she opens the door to let me in. "Hello, Auntie.", I press my hands together and bow down slightly, smiling awkwardly to myself. The relationship that I shared with White's mother wasn't entirely good. No matter how much I had tried, I still didn't appeal to the woman. Something about the way she treated me made me feel unwelcomed. I wondered if it had to do with Captain, who she loved wholeheartedly. 

"Tina, dear, It's good that you came!", Looking relieved, she held to my hands and pulled me the rest of the way into the house. Wait a minute! Did she just referred to me as "dear"?! "Please take a seat. I need to talk to you about something.", She signals me to the couch and I follow her command, feeling confused by all of this.

"Did you and White fight?", As soon as we are both seating, she throws the question at me, taking me by a complete surprise. "It seems like something is bothering him but he refuses to talk about it, so I assumed it had to be about you. He hasn't eaten a meal all day and refuses to leave his room. If you had a fight please make peace. I don't want to see my son hurting like this.", She looks at me with pleading eyes as she holds firmly to my hands. Nodding my head slowly, I wait for her to release me before I stand up and start to make my way upstairs. 

As I walk towards White's room, I can't help to be consumed by several thoughts. Looking at White's behavior, one thing was certain, Captain had confessed. What worried me now was how my boyfriend was coping with all of this. Was he going to be fine or was he going to keep suffering because of Captain? Or what if.. what if he had realized that he had feelings for Captain and was trying to find a way to be together?! 

"No, It can't be.", I try to reassure myself once again as I take a deep breath and open the door to White's bedroom.

The sight of White that welcomes me is that of his back as it faces me. He is seating on the opposite side of the bed, staring mindlessly at the other extreme of the bedroom. Sighing repeatedly, he seems to be lost in his thoughts. He doesn't even realize that I'm standing behind him, despite the countless times I've called out his name already. Feeling concerned by his behavior, I decide to approach him and seat beside him on the bed.

"Hey..", I called out as I pat his shoulder, obviously startling him. "T-Tina?! What are you doing here?!", He questions me as he looks at me in surprise, and I place my hands on his temple, guiding his head to lay down on my lap. "Why? Am I not allowed to come when I'm worried about my boyfriend?", I ask him and make a funny face, making him smile faintly for a second before he distracts himself from me once again. 

"Your mother told me you have been acting blue today. Mind sharing what's been bothering you?", I looked down at him, watching as different emotions played on his face. 

Anger.. Confusion.. Fear.. Sadness..

Even when he tried to hide all of those emotions, those expressive eyes of his allowed me to see through him, catching a glimpse of his feelings.

"It's.. It's nothing..", After a while in silence, he finally turns his gaze away, avoiding eye contact with me for the next few minutes. 

"Is it Captain?", Not being able to hold myself anymore, I bring myself to voice out my wonders. And just as I expected, the name alone made him bolt up right away, as if he's been burned. Opening his mouth, he tries to speak but closes it as he loses the ability to speak. Holding to his hand and whispering calming words, I try to give him the strenght to tell me the truth.

After a while, he finally pronounces the next sentences with trembling lips, "You were right, Tina.. Captain likes me.. He confessed to me last night.." Once those things are said, he breaks down in front of me.

"Hey, hey, it's okay.", As if I was talking to a child, I spoke as gently as possible. "No, it's not okay! I told him to get out. I was very mean to him. How am I going to be able to face him from now on?!", His eyes finally met mine, pleading for answers. By the sadness reflected in his eyes, I could tell that their friendship had been badly harmed. And yet as horrible as it sounded, I couldn't help but feel happy. For obvious reasons, I wasn't planning to show him my happiness right now. Instead, I continued to whisper calming words and comforting my crying boyfriend.

"Look, just give it some time. I'm sure you and Captain will sort things out and get through this.", I try to reassure him but deep inside, I'm hoping that my words won't come true. This seems to calm my boyfriend down a little though as he brings himself out of my embrace and wipes his tears away, nodding his head slowly.

"Meanwhile, how about we go and watch a movie together? There's a movie I really want to see with you!", I beamed at him and he looked down at his thighs, trying to find a way to reject my suggestion. But today, I wasn't planning to allow him do that. I didn't want him to suffer anymore because of him. I wanted him to forget about him and to only have eyes for me, at least for today. "Come'on! Please come with me! I will be treating you! Hmm?", I pleaded him and tried to look for some pity, until he finally nod his head slowly, giving in to my wishes. Bringing him into my embrace once again, I smile triumphaly. Captain was finally out of the picture, just like I wanted it.

[Captain's Point Of View]

As I slowly open my eyes, I look around my room. Feeling exhausted, I release a heavy sigh and turn my body to my left. I try to let my body to relax, trying to release the tesnsions that keep building up but no matter what I do, I am still unable to let go of this depressing feeling. I let out another heavy sigh before pulling the blanket over my head. Despite this, I can still feel the heat from the morning sun penetrating through the blanket and warming my skin up.

Sigh.

I don't feel like doing anything today.

My body and my mind are not cooperating with me and I definitely know why. My mind returns to the incident between White and me. My heart is still aching and my tears are now becoming a close friend of mine, filling up the corner of my eyes every time I remember last night events. Tears are now flowing down my cheeks, making my heart hurt even more. Now I am using the pillow to wipe the tears away that now are flowing out without control. I will let it out. I want to release it. I want to let go. I want to forget. Please god, let me forget about this pain. I keep holding the pillow near my chest as I move my knees closer. I am not sure what should I do and how should I go on now that everything is over.

Time passes, hours even and I didn't realize how long I have been laying down on my bed, feeling devastated and depressed. The phone ring is what takes me out of my trance, signaling that someone is looking for me. Who could be calling me? I don't feel like talking to anyone at this moment. Pressing both hands to my ears, I am trying to ignore the phone's ringing. Suddenly I sit straight up as a thought crosses my mind. Could it be White?! Don't be silly, Captain.. You've lost him already.. What about Tina? Maybe she is checking on me? Wait a minute! Would she have the guts to do that? I know that she has been a to me recently but I don't think she would go that far, right?

Feeling annoyed and angry, I slowly rise up from my bed and reach out to my nightstand to grab my ringing phone. My hand is shaking badly that I need to hold the phone using both hands before I can answer it. Taking another deep breath, I look at the screen only to realize... its Pineare.. A flash of relief travels over my body after seeing that familiar name. Why did I even think Tina would call me?

Shaking my head, I answered the phone. I don't want Pineare to think that I am avoiding her or even worse, making her think that I am in trouble. "Hello?", I position myself comfortably on the bed.  "Captain?! Are you okay?! Why did it take you so long to answer your phone?!", As usual, I am bombarded with questions as soon as she opens . Trying to hold onto the small energy that's left in me, I answer with a lie, "Sorry to make you wait. I was in the toilet just now. That's why it took me some time to answer." 

"Oh! I didn't realize that! Sorry ya.", She said while giggling. "Have you taken your breakfast?", She continues. It sounds like she is trying to make a simple conversation with me but actually, I know she is waiting for me to share last night events. "Captain? Are you still there? Is everything okay?", Pineare soft voice makes me return back to reality. "I..I..am fine.", There's not much I can say right now as all I have been doing is laying on my bed and crying over last night events. I guess telling her the truth wouldn't hurt and possibly I would be able to release some of the pain that its tightening inside me. Taking yet another deep breath, I said, "I told White about my feelings for him."

As I said that sentence, the feeling I tried to control earlier is coming back to me. Tears begin to form once again as I try to hold onto whatever energy that is left. "What happened, Captain? Tell me what happened please.", Pineare slowly begs me.

"After the event, we went to his house dor a drink.", Slowly I try to recall all the things that happened that night. "I guess I took too much to drink that I passed out. I don't know how long it was for but when I woke up, White was sleeping on the other bed and I.. wanted to wake him up because I still needed to talk to him.. But when I had him next to me, I didn't know what came over me. Before I realized it, I...", I continue explaining her last night events and paused, trying to find the courage to say it. "Captain? What is it? What did you do?", I can feel that she is trying to be patient but I am still trying to find the strenght to tell her. After a long while, I finally brought myself to say it, "I..kissed him."

"You did?! Oh my god! And what happened after that?! Tell me, please!", I know Pineare is shocked but trying to control her eagerness to give me time to tell her the whole story. I know that she is hoping for the best outcome. Oh, how I wish I could supply her with that. Lamentably, things are never what we want them to be. "He pushed me away.. He really pushed me away.. And I told him that I loved him.. I actually brought myself to say those words.. But.. but he told me to get out.. He is disgusted with me.. He hates me now.. I lost him forever..", Now I really don't have the energy to hold my tears anymore. I know my eyes are swollen badly because of the countless times I've cried, but what else can I do to release all this pain?

"Oh my god. Captain, I am so sorry to hear that.. Please don't cry.. You did what you were supposed to do and he is an if he didn't realize what a wonderful person you are.. There.. There.. Everything is going to be alright..", Pineare tries to comfort me as she continues to say all the soothing words she can think of. Time continues to pass as Pineare waits for my crying to subside. I guess she is allowing me to let go of all the pain by crying it away. Occasionally, I can hear the words of encouragement from her as she continues to comfort me.

"Alright! This is not good! Enough is enough!", Suddenly Pineare's loud voice reaches my ear, making me quiet down for a second. "If Tina thinks that you are going down and suffer alone, then she is wrong! I know White won't accept you and he is really an for making you suffer like this, but let's not show Tina that you are defeated! You are already a winner for being able to show your true self! And I don't give a damn of what they think because you are going to show them that you will survive without them! You still have us and we will always be beside you! We are your friends!", Pineare strong words reach out to me. With the little strenght in me, those words did provide some energy and made me realize that Pineare was really a great friend.

"And for a start, lets get you out of your room and do what we are supposed to do as teenagers! Lets go to the theater and have some fun!", Pineare suggested me as I am still trying to control the emotions that are slowly disappearing inside me. "Thanks, Pineare but I don't feel like doing anything today. I am really tired.", I don't want to be rude but at the same time I really don't feel like going anywhere. I am still in the process of recovering all the energy I lost.

"Please Captain. It won't do you any good if you keep putting yourself in this condition.", Pineare sought to me to go with them. "Please, Captain. Please don't let this ruin you. This is not good for you. Please let us help you.", Pineare continues pleading because I'm still refusing to her plan. I really am exhausted mentally and physically but at the same time, I know that she is right. If I keep acting in this way, I will surely get sick. Hearing Pineare pleading through the other line makes me realize that i'm not alone. That I still have friends that I can rely on and a shoulder to cry on. I know they will be by my side and won't leave me alone. All I could do to repay them is accepting their help.

"Captain? Please.. Please na?", Without giving up, she continues to ask me to not be alone and come out from my misery. "We will always be by your side so please let us be there for you.", Pineare continues on. "Okay. Let's do that.", Finally, I give her the answer that she has been hoping for, getting her to cheer on the other line.  I am still feeling exhausted but I guess going out would definitely help me heal. It would do me no good if I keep blaming myself for what happened. Things already happened and I got to move on. 

Yeah. That's what I was going to do.. 

                            I was going to move on..

[Author's Point Of View]

Hello, everyone! It's Christina here! So like Aleyda stated in the previous week, we will be introducing ourselves and talking about ourselves in these chapters. That way, we can all get to know each other better. Alright, I'll start by my name. My name is Christina Ann, but they call me Tina (Haha. Don't hate me! I'm not her.) I was born in Sarawak Malaysia and I'm currently staying in Penang Malaysia. I'm working as an engineer and also as a student. I'm also pursueing my master in USM.  I have one adorable son who sometimes likes to test my patience. Ha ha ha.. I love sports and dancing especially singing. I also love horror and thriller movies. Crime investigation is one of my favorites too. But I'm still a kid at heart! I have a collection of disney movies! Especially the disney princesses and also barbie movies! Ha ha ha! That's all from me! Ha ha! So tell me, what do you like?

Anyways, in another topic, you probably noticed that we are updating a day earlier! Well, that's because we might be having double update this week! The next chapter will be coming out on Sunday! So please keep looking forward to it :)