Please don't cry in front of him. 

You keep crying whenever he says something.

When you couldn't even tell him you love him.

Stop, stop crying.

[Tina's Point Of View]

Independent and Confident.

These are the best two words that would describe me as a person and as a woman. But lately, this feeling of insecurity has been gnawing at me to the point that I resorted to doing things I won't normally do. I knew that White was to hang out with Captain yesterday so I really can't explain what made me do what I did. I felt terrible especially after seeing White's expression. He wasn't just angry but disappointment was also written all over his face. I realized I made a mistake and I can't wait to see him and tell him just how sorry I am.

I kept glancing at the clock and as soon as it hits 1:00pm, I rushed out of my house to head straight to my boyfriend's. I was anxious during the whole thirty minute ride to his home. White might be short tempered but he never really gets angry at someone unless it was really important to him. After giving my boyfriend's mom the proper greeting, I made my way to the garden to wait for White. And the longer I wait, the more worried I was becoming as I knew that I went overboard this time. White may not seem like it but he cares a great lot about the people that are dear to him. He must have thought the worst last night as he rushed to see me.

Feelings of regret has completely taken over me as I recalled White's worried face before finding out that me and my friends were just fooling around. I still don't know what got into me last night. All I remember is that my friends were making fun of the "friendship" White had with Captain. They were joking about how close the two of them had become, making me doubt about their relationship. In the end, I felt the need to prove them and myself that I was more important to my boyfriend. But after seeing the disappointment in White's expression, I regretted everything I had done. 

As I turned around, I found White standing a few steps away from me and before I knew it, I had ran towards his arms and at that point, I couldn't contain my tears anymore. "I am really sorry for what I did last night..",  He was stiff as I explained myself to him until I finally felt his arms tighten around me and I knew then that I was forgiven. We hold each other for some time until he lets go of our embrace to look at my face, making sure that I was no longer crying. After I give him a reassuring smile, we stay looking at each other eyes. Even though I no longer felt guilty, the insecurity inside of me was still present.

I needed to make sure that he belonged to me and that no matter what, he wouldn't leave my side. Allowing myself to speak, I look at him with pleading eyes, "I love you so much, White. That's why I might do stupid things in the future. But please promise you wont ever leave me no matter what. Can you promise me that?" He looked at me with a gentle look before he nodded his head, and gave the confirmation I so much needed, "I love you too and I promise that we will always be together." Feeling elated, I pulled a surprised White in for a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

As we kiss each other, I feel him freeze and try to pull away from me suddenly. Looking at him in confusion, I see him staring intently at behind me. Turning around, I follow his gaze to find Captain standing not away from us. He had this distant and pained look on his face as he stood frozen on his spot. Once he got back to himself, he turned his back on us. White and I had to call him more than once before he decided to turn back to facing us.

"I.. I.. am so sorry to disturb you, P. I didn't know you had company.", Captain was looking anywhere but us. At some point, I thought his voice cracked and he looked uncertain, like he was just about to cry. Taking a hold of his hand, I made my apology even though I wasn't sure if he already knows the real reason as to why White needed to rush to me.

"I have an idea! Why not the three of us have dinner together?", Before I could give it a thought, I had blurted out the words. Captain seemed to hesitate but gave in with my boyfriend's persuassion. White's face light up and his smile had gone wider when the other finally said yes. Seems like it's going to be a long night, I thought to myself.

"Are you okay back there, Captain? Should I turn the air conditioner on a little higher?", I took a glimpse of White as he glaced at Captain who is seating on the backseat. "Uhm. I'm okay, P.", A short reply was all that he got. "It is a little hot. You probably should.", I told my boyfriend which he did after taking one more glace at Captain. With the silence currently reigning over us, I decided to play some music.

"Oh, our song is playing!", I stated as I leaned back on my seat. "Hmm.. Yeah..", Was White's only reply as he kept glancing back at Captain who was quietly staring outside.

"So, Captain, is there a specific place you want to eat? We can go to that new Chinese restaurant from the other day. Maybe this time you can try some meat.", White asked as he took yet another glance at the boy from the back seat. "Uhm..", Captain started but after glancing at me and White, he simply shook his head, and continued, "No, P. It's up to you and P'Tina."

"Then, shall we go to our favorite restaurant? I heard they recently introduced something new on their menu.", I suggested excitedly. "Captain?", White called again, as if silently asking, confirming that the younger man was fine with my choice. A small smile appeared on his lips as he nod, "I'm fine, P'White. You know I eat anything." "Okay, then!", White said in finality as he concentrated in driving until we reached the restaurant.

We were immediately greeted by the waitress at the restaurant. Being a regular, we were immediately guided to an available window seat. Captain sat on a chair opposite from me and just as White was about to take the chair beside him, I grabbed White by the arm and guided him towards the seat next to me instead. "So, shall we make our order?", I asked once we were all seated. 

"What do you want to eat, Cap? Their Thai seafood friend rice is the best! You should give it a try. It's one of my favorites.", Instead of getting an answer, I heard White ask Captain. "I've never been to this place, P. Just order whatever you think is delicious.", Captain answered. He's been a little too quiet than how normally is, I've noticed.

"Shall I order our favorites? We haven't eaten it for a while.", I asked again, this time making sure that White's attention is on me. Showing him the menu, I pointed to an item and asked again, "Or do you wanna try this? I heard they have this especially for couples like we are." He looked at the item before giving a light nod, and saying, "Hmm. Okay. And don't forget to order for Captain, too."

Just then a waitress came. Her face lighted up as soon as she saw us. "Phun and Noh!", She couldn't help but let out a contained squeal. I guess she's a fan, I thought to myself. "Oh my god, can you pose for a picture?!", She asked them as she brought her cellphone out, the latter two nodding their heads. White stood up from his chair and walked to take the chair next to Captain. Posing like a couple, they smiled to the camera. Once the picture was taken, she proceeded to take our orders. "Is that all?", She asked them, ignoring my presence. "We'll surely call you if we'll need anything else. Thank you.", My boyfriend said as he and Captain both gave her a small bow.

It didn't take very long for my and White's order to come while Captain's will have to wait for another five minutes. "You should start, P'White. P'Tina might already be hungry.", Captain motioned towards me as I have started to take small bites of my food. I just let out a small smile as White took a glance at me. "Go and start eating, baby. I'll wait till Captain's food is here too.", He told me and I nodded my head, but couldnt help but to feel slightly out of place. 

When Captain's food came, White was all too busy in making sure that the other was eating. "Let me peel them for you.", I simply watched in silence as White peeled a shrimp on Captain's plate and even sliced it in smaller pieces for him. "P, I can do it myself.", Captain finally grabbed the utensils from White. "Make sure you finish all of that.", White said one last time before he finally turned to his own food.

"You sure take care of Captain.", I can't help but comment seeing how attentive he is when it comes to the other. This isn't the first time I've seen White take care of Captain but for some reason, this time around I am feeling jealous. Something just feels different with how my boyfriend takes care of his onscreen partner. I just can't pinpoint what it is exactly. 

"Eh? Don't tell me you are jealous?", Now I have my boyfriend's full attention on me. I didn't answer to his question and just continued playing with the remaining food on my plate. I felt him scoot closer to me before an arm wrapped around my waist. "Baby, you know there's no reason for you to be jealous. Captain is just a brother that I love dearly but you're my girlfriend.", He tried to reassure me in a sweet tone of voice. "Are you sure?", I asked playfully this time.

"Of course! I'm as straight as a ruler. Captain can attest to that. Right, Cap?", White turned to Captain, who had his eyes on an invisible point in between us. "Captain?", White raised his voice and tried to get Captain's attention. "Uh-yeah! You have nothing to worry about, P'Tina. P'White never really looks at other girls the way he looks at you so you can definitely be assured that another man doesn't stand a chance..", Captain responded in a low voice and I smiled happily. "Well, if Captain says it, then I can totally trust it.", I said as I for ced of them before returning to my plate.

After the scene I made, the atmosphere became heavy. There's only silence as we eat the contents of our plates. It was a little unusual for it to be this quiet, if I thought about it. Usually, whenever Captain was present, there would always be laughter. He was a happy virus, White would always say whenever he spoke about the latter. And although I was slightly envious, I had to admit that he was. He always had a topic to discuss or a joke to make to brighten the moment. 

But today, the boy that sat in front was entirely different. This boy looked anxious, as if he was being bothered by his own thoughts. He kept tapping the floor under the table and coughing awkwardly. And although he smiled whenever we made eye contact, something in his eyes told me that he was faking it. On the other hand, White had already noticed it. He kept alternating worries gazes between the two of us, and trying to start small talks but failing miserably. I didn't know who was the one to blame, but I was starting to feel guilty. 

Feeling suffocated by the awkward situation, I rise from my chair and inform them, "I'll be going to the restroom. I'll be right back, hmm?"

As I walked away, I glanced back and saw White leaning over and reaching for Captain. If it was something between them, It was better for them to talk alone. But although I wanted them to fix things, I felt very uneasy. 

"It'll be fine, there's nothing to worry about.", I tell myself as I continue walking.

[Captain's Point Of View]

As Tina's footsteps grow more distant, I start to breathe properly. I slowly close my eyes and concentrate on controlling and maintaining an even breathing pattern.Come'on, Captain, you can do it. I tell myself as I try to relax my anxious heart. For the first time, Tina's presence makes me feel uneasy. It feels as if I was betraying her in some way. Relax, Captain. You have done nothing wrong. I try to reassure myself. But as I try to stabilize my mind, my heart, and even my body, I feel a hand land on top of mine. Opening my eyes at the feeling, I meet White's face as he stares at me with concern. "Are you alright, Captain?", He asks me worriedly. "Oh, P! I am fine! Nothing to worry about! I was just lost in my thoughts. That's all. What about you?", I asked him in return as I tried to feign a smile.

"Well, I am glad to hear that but I..", He answers me but pauses as if he is trying to find the words to describe how he is feeling right now. "Is there something bothering you, P?", I ask him once again as I look inside of his troubled eyes. "It's just that I'm worried about Tina..", He tells me and I feel my heart become anxious at the mention of her name. Oh, not again.. "Why? What's the problem?", I ask him as I try to show some interest, but deep inside, I'm not sure if I want to know. 

"Do you remember that yesterday Tina called me and asked me to meet her urgently, right?", White reminds me about last night and I feel my heart sting at the memory. Why are you reminding me about something I want to forget about? "Yeah.. I remember..", I replied in a steaty voice as I tried to act cool about it. "Actually, she called because she was feeling worried and insecure.", White explains and I blink my eyes as I try to understand why White is telling me this. 

"She is worried that we are not brothers like what we always declare.", White continues to explain. At this time, I am already aware what the meaning of all of this is and what is White trying to explain to me. And I know that the more I listen to his words, the more it'll hurt.  I am already having a hard time accepting the reality in front of me so hearing him tell me this feels like a knife stabbing my heart. I don't know how long I can bear listening to what White has to say. 

"Captain!", Suddenly, he holds my shoulders and make me look a him as he gets ready to say what I know he'll say. Please don't do this to me.. I pray deep inside of me, but I know that there's no one to save me. "Please help me make her understand that there's no need for her to feel this way. You are the only one that can help me prove that to her, Captain.", White continues feeding me words that I don't want to hear.  "You are like a brother to me and I love you a lot but she's my girlfriend and she should know that. And that will never change, right, Captain?", White statement is like lighting piercing into my chest. Those things are things that I already know. Yet, why does it hurt so much to hear them from his own lips? Gripping to the last bit of energy that's left in me, I ask him, "And what can I do?" 

"Find a girlfriend. Just think about it. If you get a girlfriend, there would be no doubt that we are both straight.", He tells me and by now, I don't think I can hold it anymore. Argh! White, please.. I have enough of this.. I can't take it anymore.. I need to run away.. Suddenly, my phone rings and grabs both of our attention. Letting go of my shoulders, he tells me, "You should answer it." Nodding my head, I grab the phone and stand up from the chair to excuse myself, "I will be going to the restroom to answer the call." Having said that, I quickly rush to the restroom to escape. I'll deal with White later but right now, I need to stay away from him, at least for a minute.

After making sure that the restroom was empty, I answered the call of a very familiar person who had just turned into my savior. "Hello, Pineare?", I answer in a quivering voice. "Captain? Are you alright?", She asks me, caughting up rather quickly to my unsteady emotional state. "No, I'm not! I feel as if my heart is being beaten with rocks! I can't take this anymore! It's too painful!", I finally break down in a corner of the restroom and allow my tears to flow down my cheeks. "Calm down, Captain..First, tell me what happened, okay?", She asks me in a steady voice, but I could tell she was struggling to keep calm.

"I came to eat with White and Tina..", I tell her, and hear her gasp on the other line.  "You did what?! Are you stupid?! Why did you do that?!", She asks me upset. Yeah. I know. I was stupid for thinking that I would be fine. I trusted myself too much. "It doesn't matter anymore! What matters is that I have to get out of here! White asked me if I could get a girlfriend to prove our "straightness" to Tina! Can you believe it?!", My tears continue rolling down my cheeks as I keep explaining things to her desperately.

[Authors Notes]

Oh my god, guys! I'm sorry for updating late! I completely forgot I was in charge of updating! Yesterday I went to bed early and then when I woke up, I forgot about it. I'm so sorry. But like some of you already know, ive been very sick lately. For some of you is still saturday so it's alright! Here you go~ Oh! And we might update part 2 tomorrow!! Anyways, Tina's points of view are done by our lovely vannessa so please give it a round of support for her^^ 

This was aleyda (in case you couldnt tell)