[Captain's Point Of View]

As I stand in front of the house of the person who if I'm honest, I've missed so much, I can't help but to look back at the empty spot where Tina had just been a moment ago. "White loves you greatly.", I can still hear the words coming from , making me doubt my sanity. Did I hear right or did my head play a cruel trick on me? I don't even know if I can trust myself, more less, Tina. Despite my inner desire of believing in her words, there is still a part of me that is holding me back. I couldn't let anymore hope build because I wouldn't be able to bare the pain that may happen once more. No, I can't and I won't. I won't let Tina cause me any more pain. I won't let that happen again, specially not now that my wounds have healed.

After shaking my head slowly to left and right, I release a long and heavy breath. I need to get ready in order to see him, to talk to him. Physically and more importantly, emotionally. I might need to get ready for further rejection that may happen. If I can play a small role in White's life, nothing would make me more happy. Even if that means that everything will go back to square cero and I have to settle with the role of a mere acquaintance. . To see him smile again, that would be enough for me. I won't ask for anything else. Nevertheless, if I come out of this house with empty hands, I promise myself that I won't hurt any more. I will remove him with my life and walk forward with my head held high.

As I continue to enter the house, I slowly gaze around the hall, searching for anyone who might greet me. Even though I used to come here often before and I'm already considered part of the 'family', I am still a guest so I don't think allowing myself into the house would be appropriate at this time.

As I am still contemplating whether I should call for someone or just walk to White's room, I hear my name being called. "Oh, Captain? You are here. I am glad to see you!", Mama Ying said with a smile that brightened her entire face. By the look of her face, I can tell that she's been waiting for me anxiously. Is White really that depressed? By his mother's and Tina's reaction, it seems that it's true; White is depressed. The question that now echoed in my mind was, was it my fault?

"You can go to his room, but you might also find Tina in there. She was here a while ago.", Said Mama Ying again while looking down at her feet. Oh, was it me or Mama Ying sounded sad while mentioning P'Tina's name? Pushing that thought aside, I answered, "Oh, I met her a while ago while she was leaving."

"Oh good! Then you go ahead.", She said as she motioned me towards the stairs. "And Captain..", She calls my name as I'm making my way upstairs, making me stop to look down at her. "Please look after him and be there for him, okay? Make him happy again.", With those words, she smiles and disappears into the living room. I'm left frozen in spot as I think about her words. Make him happy again. Why did it felt as if I had White's happiness in the palm of my hand? I didn't even know whether he wanted to talk to me, or even, look at me after what happened.

As I'm becoming nearer to his room, my steps become shorter and slower before they stop in front of his room. I do really want to see him but at the same time, I fear the look I might receive from him. This would be our first time meeting after that incident that broke us apart. Even if my heart is jumping in joy at the thought of seeing him, I can't deny the anxiety that is now eating me up. I can feel my heart jumping against my chest, and the sweat drops that have formed in my forehead. My limbs suddenly feel like jelly, so I hold onto the doorknob to keep myself on my feet. What should I do now? Should I knock or should I call him on the phone? Argh! I rub my head vigorously as I try to clear my head in order to make a proper decision. Ok, Captain. Calm down. Take a deep breath.

As I inhale deepy, I close my eyes to control all the emotions that are building inside of me. Slowly, I release the air from my lungs and raise my hand to knock on the door. I knock a few times but don't hear a reply from inside the room. Is he inside or did he went out? Or maybe he is in the bathroom? Should I open the door? Can I do that? I hold the door knob and twist it slowly. I don't want to make any sound as I want to make sure the coast is clear before deciding what to do next.

I slowly push the door open and drag my body inside the room. Looking around, I can feel and smell White. A smile appears on my lips and I can't help to recall all the time that we have spent together here, in this room. I move inside the room silently and notice a figure that I know too well lying on the bed next to the window. I walk slowly towards him, making sure that I don't make any sound at all.

As I stand next to his bed, I can see his face clearly. It's red and swollen as if he had cried. As I continue to look at him, my heart starts to ache when I realize how pale his face has become. He looks so peaceful when he is sleeping but yet, I can feel the trouble and pain when I continue to look closely at him. Oh, how much I've missed him. I missed his smile. I missed his teasing, his jokes. I missed his hugs. I missed everyhing about him. How I long to see those eyes looking brightly at me, like they used to. How I long for those hands to hold mine, to embrace me when I need them to. No, Captain. You can't hope for that to happen anymore. You have to remember the promise you made to yourself.

As I continue to look at White, I slowly bend down to move closer to him. I can hear the smooth rhythm of his breathing and I can almost feel his heart beating evenly. I slowly raise my hand to touch his toussled hair. As I caress his head, I can feel his face begin to relax and the expression becoming softer. What is going on with you, White? Why are you like this? What is happening to you? Can you open your heart to me so I can help you? Will you allow me into your world again? I don't have the answer to my questions and I won't be able to know as it as depends on the person who is currently sleeping soundly next to me.

[White's Point Of View]

Opening my eyes at the feel of warmth on my cold skin, I find just the person that I've been desperately but secretly craving to see. Mindlessly looking around my bedroom, he caresses my cheek with his soft fingers. Seeing him appear beside me after everything I've done feels too good to be true so I immediately conclude that this is a dream. Yes, a dream like those I've been having recently. A beautiful dream from where I don't want to wake up. I stare at him in a mix of admiration and awe as he continues to treat me with his delicate caresses, mindlessly looking around my bedroom. However, his expression changes to astonishment as soon as our eyes cross and he turns to look away, removing his hand from my skin. Why are you looking away, Captain? This is my dream and I am in charge. I don't want you to look away from me, at least not here. I want to continue to feel your touch and I want to hold you inside my embrace, at least here.

Without no sign of hesitation, I grab to him by surprise and pull him in, making him land on top of me on the bed. He immediately begins to struggle against me, trying to set himself free, but I'm not thinking about letting him go, at least not in my dreams. Holding him tighter, I allow myself to say the words that I haven't been brave enough to say in real life, "I missed you so much." After hearing my words, the boy inside my arms finally stops struggling only to lie frozen inside my arms. Bringing one hand to his buzz head cut, I caress the small hairs that have grown longer, getting him to slowly relax and his body to go lax. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, he holds me back tightly and mutters something in my shoulder, "I missed you too. So much."

His voice sounds like a melody to my ears, after these had been wishing to hear it so badly. I can't contain a smile of contentment to spread at my lips as I hold him tighter. His warmth feels like a warm blanket in a winter day, and everything feels so real that I begin to doubt whether this is a dream or real life. Don't be silly, White. This can't be real. It's too good to be true. You already lost him and he won't come back to you. A voice inside of me reminds me, making my heart ache a little. Well, at least I can see him inside my dreams and have him inside my arms to my heart's content. I try to make myself feel better and tighten my hold of him if that's even possible, tangling my legs around his body to bind his to mine.

The seconds are passing us by and I can hear his heart beating hard against my chest and hear his heavy breathing against my ear. Woah. Dreams are actually pretty awesome! I can't help to think as I stare at the sweat that currently sticks his shirt against his back. "White, it's not that I dislike the extra skinship but, I'm suffocating already..", He tells me as he starts to push me. However, I don't plan to let go of him yet, and so I force him back to his previous position, holding him even tighter. "No. I don't want to wake up from this dream yet.", I tell him as I hold on to him as if I was holding to dear life. "Wait, what?! Wake up from what?! You're already up, you idiot! Now let me go!", He cries for help as he struggles inside of my arms, making my eyes widen at his statement. 

Holding onto his shoulders and pushing him to look at him in the eye, I question him and myself, "Wait, is this not a dream?!" He looks at me as if I was a mad person before shaking his head, and tell me mockingly, "Of course not, dummy!" My eyes widen even more than they were, and I scoot back on an impulse. I can't believe that this is real and that he is beside me! What is he doing here?! Did he come to curse me a little longer?! Wait, but what did I do just now?! I told him what I felt and he said that he felt the same way! "Captain.. I-I, about what I said, I..", I don't know what I'm intending to say but it feels as if I should say something.

However, I don't have to finish the sentence because he interrupts me. "If this is the part where you say that you were dreaming about someone else, and that those things you said a moment ago weren't meant for me, save it, I understand it.", He tells me in a neutral voice but despite his attempt, I manage to caught on the disappointment that lies behind. He slowly turns away and looks elsewhere, as if trying to hide himself from me.  No. This time I won't let the opportunity pass. I have to be honest to him and say, at least what I'm allowed to say. "No, I did mean it. What I said before, I mean.", I tell him as I hold his cheek and turn his head to look at me, "I've terribly missed you, Captain."

He stares at me speechlessly, doubt reflected in his two eyes. His expression is just like the one I wore a moment ago, as I contemplated on whether I was in a dream or not. We stare at each other in within the frozen moment, where only the two of us exist. His eyes dart from one of mine to the other repeatedly, as he tries to look through me, searching for the truth. But the truth is already out and I can't deny it any more. After a moment of silence, he finally questions me, his voice sounding hurt, "Then, why didn't you look for me?! Why didn't you call me?!"

"Because I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me ever again after what I said.", I confessed and continued before he could steal the word, "Those things I've said were horrible and I was ashamed of myself for saying them. I'm so sorry, Captain. I'm so sorry for everything I said. I was angry back then but not at you. I was angry at myself for not knowing how to handle the situation I was facing. I know that I don't have a face to ask you this, but would you forgive me?" Once I had said all the things that I had bolted inside of my chest, I closed my eyes and waited for him to answer to my request. I was so scared of looking at him in the eye and finding rejection. So like the coward I was, I pressed my eyes tightly together and waited with a throbbing heart.

"White, you're not the only one to blame. I'm also at fault. I was the one who got the weird thoughts first. This is mostly my fault. I'm sorry for letting my feelings get in the middle of our friendship. I promise that it won't happen again. I've gotten over you now, so you can rest at peace now.", I hear his voice tell me with a soft tone, and I feel my heart bolt in pain at his statement. For some reason, instead of peacefulness, his words made me feel restlessness. It was as if I had secretly been wishing that those feelings that tormented me, tormented him as well. But now that I knew that what he felt for me was no longer, it made me feel pathetic. But this was all my fault. I was the one that hurt him in the first place. "No! This is all my fault. I should've been a good friend to you and reacted differently!", I exclaim, refusing to open my eyes to look at his brown orbs.

Suddenly, I feel his warm thumbs press at the corner of my two eyes, wiping the tears that I hadn't noticed until now. The tears that had managed to roll down my cheeks were the biggest prove of how much all of this affected me.  Opening my eyes at the contact, I find him staring at me with a mix of tenderness and concern. "So if I forgive you, then can we become friends again?", He asks me as he stares at the ceiling in question, a hint of humour evident in his voice that told me straight away that I was forgiven. "You have never stopped being my friend, Captain!", I cry out in delight as I throw myself into his arms, taking him by surprise. Readjusting his chin in my shoulder and getting into a more comfortable position in my embrace, he wraps his arms around me, hugging me with just the same emotion.

"I'm glad to have you back.", I whisper against his ear as I smile widely.

"Me too. I'm glad to have you back too.", He mutters against my shoulder before I allow myself to close my eyes and sleep inside of those two arms that made me feel at home.

[Captain's Point Of View]

It had been a wonderful day today now that White has returned to normal. Well, too normal if I would say so myself. I keep thinking about what has happened in these few hours, and can't contain a smile from spreading at my lips. If I had thought that this moment would come, I wouldn't have believed it yesterday. I thought that I would never be able to call myself White's "friend". But, as I look at him while we play video games, I realize that it's true. Everything is back to normal and I'm back in his friend list. The hostile expression that he had for me before has vanished and been replaced by the same obnoxious and cheeky White that used to be. Actually, it's more than before and I can't help but wonder why. Did White miss me all that much and realized that my friendship meant a lot to him? As I have promised myself, I am not planning to let my feelings interfere with our friendship anymore. I want to treasure all the feelings that I had for him and burry them deep inside me. I have lost him once and I am not going to lose him ever again.

As I walk down the stairs behind him, I use this opportunity to look closely at him. Even from behind, he is such a beautiful man. He has that manly feature that is soft but tough at the same time, along with that lazy pace adding with firm proud steps that no one else has. I am smiling a myself as I continue analyzing this very person that has affected me and my world so much. "Oh, White, Captain? Are you alright? Want me to get you something?", Suddenly my train of thoughts is disturbed by the sweet voice of White;s mother. 

"Good that you mention it, mom! I'm starving!", White says as he skips a stair and lands on his feet, smiling triumphaly. Mama Ying looks at her son in relief, before looking at me with a smile, as if secretly thanking me. "On my part, I will have to refuse this time. I should be going home already. Thank you for the offer, anyways.", I replied to her as I brought my phone out of my pocket to dial my mother, but stop as I hear a loud thunder from outside the house. I turn my vision towards the living room window, and find a whole thunderstorm outside.

"Eh?! You want to go home already? You should stay here, I wanted us to have dinner together. Please stay over, Captain.", White throws himself at me with pleading eyes. "Please, please, please~", He continues to ask me to stay, making me smile unknowingly at the cute expression he is wearing. As I am trying to make a decision, I hear Mama Ying call for me from the kitchen, where she had disappeared to. "Yeah, Captain! Please stay over, my dear. It's raining hard and it's not safe for your mother to come pick you up in this weather. Furthermore, it has been a while since you last stood over. I really miss having you for breakfast!", Mother Ying appears in front of us, with a concerned expression.

"Ok! It's a deal then! I will call your mother and tell her that she doesn't need to come. I don't think she would mind it as you have been here several times before. Plus, it'll be kind of risky for her to come, so she will be grateful.", White concludes as he brings his phone out of his pocket and starts to dial my mother's number. I can't contain a smile from spreading at my lips. It seemed that White was no longer uncomfortable around me, and I couldn't help to feel glad that everything was back to normal. "Okay, why not?! Thank you Mama Ying for allowing me to stay. I hope it doesn't bother you.", I replied politely at the woman that I considered my second mother. "Of course you're not a bother! I am really happy to have you around! You're like a son to me, don't forget that, okay? Now come on, let's go and have dinner.", Said Mama Ying as she smiled brightly and signaled us to the kitchen area.

I look around the kitchen area as Mama Ying and White talk to each other. I realize that Mama Ying still loves to keep everything neat and tidy. I can recall that time when White and I tried to cook noodles, and accidentally used the wrong pot. It was a whole chaos! The soup kept spilling out as we had used a pot that was too small to hold the amount of noodles that we had put in. After that, we got scolded by Mama Ying and forbidden into the kitchen without her supervision. A lot has happened in these past years and both of our mothers have always been there for us no matter what. God could not be everywhere, and therefore, he sent mothers. This quote is really true and I am really thankful to have both of our mothers by our side.

"Okay, here you are! A quick friend rice with fried chicken for my two wonderful sons!", Mama Ying suddenly placed two plates in front of us. "Wah! It smells so nice! Thank you, mom. You're the best.", White immediately picks up the spoon, fills it with food and motions it towards me. And now he is raising an eyebrow as he awaits for me eat what he is offering me. Trying to act normal and hide my beating heart, I open my mouth and eat all the contents of the spoon, making him smile triumphaly. After that, we continue to eat while having a small chat. Mama Ying is being a good listener while replying occasionally to what White is saying. White is very talkative at the table and I can feel that he is back to himself. Once he finishes the contents of his share, he excuses himself and leaves to his room, leaving me alone to finish my plate.

After a short chat with Mama Ying, I walked up stairs to White's room. I never thought that I would be staying overnight. Never imagined that I would be allowed into his room again. I would never expect things to change drastically. Who would ever thought that after that frightful night, we could go back to being close again. You can never predict what will the future have and I am grateful to be able to be part of White's circle of friends once more. I will treasure this for the rest of my life and never do anything to destroy it again. Once is already enough.

Entering his bedroom, I can see White is already holding the clothes he is going to fetch me. "Here. I thought you would be comfortable wearing those, than what you're currently wearing.", He tells me with a smile as he hands me the clothes he is lending me along with a brand new toothbrush. I look at the clothes in my hands and can't contain a smile. Since I wasn't planning to stay over, I didn't bring a spare of clothes with me. I'm very grateful that he thought about it and decided to look for something to lend me, on his own will. Smiling sweetly, he directs me to the bathroom, "You should take a shower to relax yourself." I nod at him and enter the bathroom door as White closes it behind me. I proceed to wash myself thoroughly as I think about all the events that took place today. I recall the short conversation I had with P'Tina and how she changed so suddenly. I am thanful for that but I am still not sure whether I should trust her. After what she did to me, I can't help but remind myself to be careful and cautious. I continue rinsing all the soap from my body and brush my teeth using the new toothbrush that White gave me earlier. He is really a good person and ready to help those around me. That is one of the reasons why I fell for him.

As I wipe myself to put on the shorts, I realize that the size is bigger than the usual one that I normally wear. Are this White's shorts? Did he put on weight? We normally share the same size so this should not be his. I didn't see any weight gain when I looked at him before. Actually, he looks skinnier than before. Well, why am I complaining? I am borrowing his anyway, so I might as well use whatever was given to me. When I put on the shorts, it looks shaggy and big on me that it keeps on dropping. Ahh. Did I lose weight all of a sudden? Argh, forget that, captain! The sleeveless shirt that he gave me is also quite big and wearing it causes my upper body to expose a little too much. I look like an old man with all this clothes. Wait a minute? Is White doing this on purpose or does he wants to make fun of me? Is he trying to tease me? Nah. White would never do that to me even if my mind silently agrees that White can be very obnoxious sometime.

Pushing that thought aside, I return back to the bedroom area. As White turns and looks at me, he gives that sweet but meaningful smile that only makes me feel nervous. "Hmm. Thanks for the clothes P. Are they someone else's clothes? They feel a little bigger than yours.", I said to him. "Really? I don't see any difference. Probably your mind is playing a trick on you. It has been a while from the last time you came here and stood over night. So you probably have drop a few pounces.", White continues to reply as he walks towards the bathroom. I don't want to argue with him, so I silently nod my head and watch as he enters the bathroom with thoughts of taking a bath.

White is in the bathroom now, cleaning himself up and I am lying on his bed, browsing on my phone. I would like to let Ssing and Pineare know about today but that can wait. I know they will probably call or keep messaging me until they get satisfying answers on how it all happened. I would need sometime alone to talk to then. I smile as I picture their faces full of excitement at the great news. They have supported me for the past months and become the friends I never had and that I'm glad to have. I hear White finishing up and probably wiping himself, and I'm pulled out of my thoughts. Before I can help it, I'm imagining the scenery on the other side of that door and biting my lips. How would he look like.. Captain! What are you thinking?! Remember your promises! I push the thoughts aside and take a deep breath. It is sure going to be an interesting night with White's presence with me.

The bathroom door suddenly flews open, exposing White who is only wearing a towel on the bottom part of his body. I have to hold my breath as I look at the view in front of me. Oh, White, why are you so damn handsome?! I think as I stare at the exposed skin that he is pleasing me with.  "Like what you see?", He teases me as he raises an eyebrow expectantly. I cough awkwardly and turn to look away, to hide the embarrassment that's currently reddening my face. Standing up the bed, I walk towards his book cabinet, feigning interest in his collection. I can feel White as he moves around the room, all my nerves now directing their attention to him. I have to keep pulling my boxers up and rearranging my shirt as they are too loose, meanwhile I try to control my excited heart that beats tremendously fast against my chest.

"Do you want to read something, Captain?", White suddenly says something as he puts on clothes. "Oh, no. I am okay. I think I should go to bed now. It's already late.", I shake my head redirecting myself towards one of his beds, the boxers falling merciless and making me stumble as I walk. Damn this shorts! I have to control so many things around me and this adds up to my awkwardness. "Argh! That's it! I think I will just sleep on my boxers! This shorts keep on dropping and it's hard to move around in them.", Finally deciding that I have lost the battle against the shorts, I bring the shorts down and kick them to a side of the bedroom. I look at White in order to apologize but instead I find him seating on the bed, grinning in amusement. I guess he is feeling amused with what is happening to me now. That only makes me feel more nervous. Was this his plan? I am not sure what to do or say so I end up saying, "Ahh! I am going to sleep now!"

As I move myself to the bed next to White's, suddenly I can feel a hand holding me back. "Sleep with me, please. It has been a while since we last slept together, so let's just share a bed. Please, please, please.", White keeps pulling and pleading with me as he pulls me towards his bed. Wait a minute? Has he forgotten that I have feelings for him? Is he trying to test me here? Or is he feeling differently towards me now? What should I assume with all of this? Argh! Calm down, Captain! Is not the first time we have done this. We have slept in the same bed before so this shouldn't be any different than those times. 

Looking at his pleading eyes and warm face, I decide to give in. "Ok, P.", I replied to him and move next to him. Laying awkwardly by his side, I look at the ceiling and try to control my beating heart. I already told him that I was over him and so I shouldn't be acting in this way. But as I am finding my calm, he surprises me again and pulls me into his warm embrace. 

[White's Point Of View]

Pulling him into my embrace, I feel him struggle within my hold. "Why are you doing this to me?! Let me go!", He demands me as he keeps pushing, pulling and shaking inside my embrace. But when he realizes that I am not planning to comply to his demands, he stops his useless battle, and looks at me with irritation. He is frowning and his eyes are glittering in hatred. But past that annoyance, I can also see something that I can't describe. It was as if past that glamour, he was glad that I was pulling him close to me, that he secretly craved for this closeness.  It let me know that those feelings he had for me weren't gone like he claimed. It told me that I still had a chance. It was my choice whether I wanted to try or whether I wanted to let it escape from my grasp again. The problem was that, I still wasn't sure what I wanted. 

Tightening my hold on his body, I tangle my legs on his body and feel his warmth press against mine. My heart accelerates in excitement inside my chest at his proximity, making my limbs tremble lightly against his hips. I wonder if he can feel how nervous and excited I am about having him this close. I can clearly feel his heart thumping against my ear, which is pressed over his chest. It tells me that I am not the only one who feels this way, but can he feel it too? Can he feel the crazy reaction he provokes inside me? Honestly, I don't even know why I am doing this and whether this is okay. All I know is that I want to have him as close as possible and for as long as I can. I know that this is possibly unfair to both of them and that I am taking advantage of his kindness. But I also know that time is ticking by and that maybe later, I won't get to do this no more and will regret not doing it. So for tonight, I've decided to forget about what the future may have and live in the present, doing what I want.

"What made you fall in love with me?", Suddenly, I break the comfortable silence that was accompanying us, making him tense inside my embrace once again. "I already told you. I've gotten over you, so you don't need to worry anymore.", He reminds me, sounding  very vulnerable. It made me really sad to know that I affected him this much. I knew that he was lying to protect me, to protect the frienship we had. But I wanted to let him know that it was okay, in some way to feel that way about me. I wanted to do what I didn't do back at that time, when I should've done it.  "I know.. I just want to know..", I whispered a quiet plea, but then assured him, "But it's okay if you don't want to or feel uncomfortable about the issue."

"I don't know.. These feelings weren't something I planned nor I wanted to have. When I realized it, they were already there. Although I had felt the symptoms before, I noticed them when I had you no longer. I found myself missing you, wanting you near, needing you more than air. Yeah, I know it might sound very corny, but that's how it felt to me.", He explained to me in his usual tone, but if I digged in deeper, I would hear the melancholy and despair that was hidden. Just like me, I wanted to tell him. I wanted to let him know that the way he felt back then was the same way I have been feeling up to this day. But once again, I found my lips glued to each other, unable to mutter a word. 

"I'm really sorry, White. If only these feelings hadn't appeared, none of this would've happened.", He apologized to me, his voice sounding a little fearful. It was as if he was showing me his vulnerable side, giving me the chance to destroy it again. But this time, I was far from doing that. This time wouldn't be like the last. This time I would show him that it was okay. That I wouldn't hurt him anymore. "No, Captain. Please don't be sorry.", I pulled myself up to look at him, holding his face in my hands carefully. "I feel very honored that someone as precious as you felt that way about me. I am very lucky to have you. I should be the one that should apologize for not seeing that before. I am sorry, Captain. For how I treated you and for how I hurted you. I won't do that again, I promise. This time I will treat you how you deserve because I..", I wanted to say it. Say that I loved him. But forced myself shut and found another option, "I can't live without you."

His expression brightened and he gave me one of those smiles that made my heart jump in delight. "I can't live without you either. This time I won't let anything get in between our friendship, I promise.", He reassures me before resting his head into the pillow. "We should go to sleep, Captain. That way we can wake up early and play some more.", I tell him and watch him nod his head in agreement.  "Goodnight.", I kiss his forehead before cuddling into his chest and closing my eyes, I try to fall asleep. 

But the minutes pass and sleep doesn't come. Instead, I find myself becoming more conscious of my surroundings. I hear his breathing become even and see his chest raise up and down calmly. I see his peaceful expression as he sleeps, the one I always adored. From all the sides of Captain, this must be one of my favorites. The innocent and almost angelic expression he wears when he is asleep. This expression never failed to make me feel at peace, to forget all the problems in my life. That's why I carried a whole folder with Captain's sleeping pictures in my phone, just in case something went wrong. I wondered if I would ever be able to be brave and confess my feelings to him. If for once, I got rid of all my uncertainty and accepted him into my life completely. How would it be? How would it feel to see this lovely face every morning? To come back home to find his obnoxious character welcome me? To hold his hand, hug him, kiss him without worrying about others? Sadly, I don't even dare to picture it, as it makes me feel like a traitor. A traitor towards Tina, towards his friends, towards his family.

I watch as the corner of Captain's lips twitch, and wipe the tears that have accumulated in my eyes without my permission. Letting out a exhausted sigh, I look at his face one more time, trying to engrave it in my memory. "I love you..", I whisper, knowing very well that he won't hear me in his deep state of sleep. "But, I am not ready..", I tell him, feeling as my heart aches inside my chest, "and sadly, I will never be.."

[Author's Notes]

Okay, I'm back! This is Aleyda! I'm soo sorry for updating so late! Oh my god. What happened was that I went to my friend house and had a sleepover so I couldn't update on friday (like I usually do) and we didn't sleep that night so the next day when I came back, I was so sleepy and fell asleep before I realized it, so I couldn't update yesterday either. And even right now, I am dying to sleep haha but I promised you that I would update it and here I am~ Haha. I hope this doesn't happen again he he. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter the same I enjoyed editing it and comment your opinions like you always do (we love that!) Hahah.

Please keep looking forward to the next chapter~ Bye bye~