If I stretch out my hand. If I stretch out with all my strenght, I still can't reach you..

It feels like we are closer, so I call out to you in excitement.. 

But there's no answer, I don't think I'll ever reach you..

[Captain's Point Of View]

Pat, pat, pat..

It's early morning and I'm already inside the busiest place of the city; Siam Paragon. Before I've realized it, this place has become very meaningful to me. This is a place where many memories of my life as Noh were made. And although I keep scolding myself for comparing reality with fiction, I am not able to control the memories from overflowing whenever I find myself in a place like this one. And in moments like these is when I realize once again how much I have changed because of White. I still wasn't sure if I would be able to accept defeat and say goodbye to him if things went down the drain tonight.

"Captain!", I hear my name being called by several voices and I'm reminded that I'm at a public place, being followed by some of my fans. I want to turn around and greet them properly but my head is already full of different thoughts to form any words to show them my gratefulness. My mind is a mess and a bunch of emotions are bottled up inside of me.

After thinking about it for the past three days, I had concluded that confessing to White was the right thing to do, no matter how scary it sounded. He deserved to know how I truly felt about him. He deserved to know who I really was. And although I felt that it wasn't the right time, I couldn't continue lying to him anymore. Tonight was a decisive night and I knew that things would finally take a definite route. And although I felt afraid, I also felt eager. Because even if things didn't go as I hoped, at least I had tried and there would be no regrets. If White rejected me, there would be no hope left and I would be able to move on to the next chapter of my life. Oh, how much I wished to be free from these feelings that chained me.

After walking in circles for minutes, I finally find the place I've been looking for. This is a store that sells wear for special occasions. The wealthy and rich, usually celebrities, visited the place to look for elegant party dresses and suits. The clothing from this store was out of my budget and I wouldn't be able to afford it under normal circumstances. But this time, our managers had already rented an outfit for tonight'se ceremony and so I was here to retrieve it. Turning around to meet my fans, I bid farewell to them and proceed to enter the place. 

As soon as I walk in, I am greeted by several familiar faces. I am surprised to see that they all have come early and most of all, to see that he is here already. "Hello, guys..", Greeting them with a smile, I walk towards the fancy couch that its situated in a corner of the room. Avoiding a specific person, I seat down next to Ngern. Today, the sight of White makes me feel more anxious than usual as I knew that I would be confessing to him later. I needed some time away from him to prepare myself for what was to come. There were only two possible outcomes. If I was lucky, he would accept my feelings and maybe, just maybe.. return them. (Don't get your hopes up, Captain! That won't happen!) But if things went according to how I had predicted, White would reject me and our friendship would become awkward. If I was honest, both outcomes scared the living out of me.

But the thing that scared me the most was the possibility of losing White forever because of my feelings. "Prove it to yourself! That he cares!", Tina's words make their way through my mind, making me doubt everything I've believed in once again. Even when I trusted that White cared for me, I wasn't sure how much he would stand for me. If my feelings became too much for White to bear, he would probably cast me aside as a friend. And that was why I felt uncapable of confronting him. I've always known that White didn't love me back so I was ready to get my feelings rejected but.. when it came losing our friendship, I wasn't sure if I would be able to stand that much pain. Relax, Captain.. He really cares about you.. He wouldn't do that to you.. I try to reassure myself as I take a deep breath but deep inside, I know that nothing is for granted.

"Captain? Are you alright? You look distressed.", And despite my attempts on staying away from him, he manages to sneak his way beside me. "I'm alright, don't worry.",  I try to remain cool and look convincing, but he looks at me in disbelief. "Why are you so early? You're usually late.", I try to change the subject and get him to forget about my well-being for a moment.

"I came early because I was excited for today's ceremony! Do you think we'll get any awards?!", The look of excitement he wears make me smile faintly. Tonight will be a night full of surprises for you, you don't even know.. "Who knows? But I mean, aren't we the perfect couple?", I tell him and wish internally to hear him agree. But instead of replying, he laughs awkwardly and turns away. Of course.. In his opinion, we were far away from being the perfect couple.. But to me, no matter what happened, we were perfect together..

"You can come in and try on your outfits now.", A tall lady with long black hair approaches us and signals us to follow her. Standing up in unison, we begin to follow quietly after the woman. Once we reach a room in the back of the place, she brings out four different suits and starts to give each of us our respective outfit. After making sure that we all had our pair, she leaves us alone so we can change comfortably. 

Not thinking much about it, I start to undress myself in front of one of the four mirrors that were located in every corner of the room. This wasn't the first time we all had been in a room like this. Actually, we had even bathed all together before. Therefore, we had grown comfortable with each other. However, one of us didn't look very comfortable today. "Aren't you going to try your suit, White?, I heard Ngern's guileless voice ask White. 

Upon hearing Ngern's voice, I looked through the reflection of the mirror at the two guys behind me just in time to see the apprehensive look that White was giving me. We made eye contact for a second before he looked back at Ngern, "Nah. I think it's unnecessary." Trying to ignore the two boys behind me, I concentrated on zipping my pants and getting dressed. For some reason, my gut told me that I was the reason to White's discomfort. I couldn't help but to wonder if Tina had mentioned anything to him yet. If it were to be like that, I wouldn't know how to face him now. Calm down, Captain.. Tina wouldn't do that.. She isn't that bad.. Or is she..?

[White's Point Of View]

All through the event, I can still feel a little change in the atmosphere. But whenever I glance at the person next to me, I don't find anything different in his behavior. I do feel him shaking a little bit when I touch him or hold his shoulder when we take pictures but other than that, there's nothing irregular. But even though he is the same as before, I cannot help to feel a little anxious. There's still something that tells me that something isn't right with Captain today. Come on, White! You are just overthinking because of what Tina said. There's nothing wrong with Captain.There's nothing wrong with you..

"And the award for this category goes to Lovesick The Series!"

Do you know how very lucky I am, every moment I have you here?

If there's ever a day we must separate, how will I live?

"We have won! We did it! We really did it!", Captain immediately cheers up beside me and all I can do is smile at him, still feeling in disbelief. Winning The Best Drama of the year really meant a lot to Captain, me and to the Lovesick staff. Words couldn't explain the mixture of emotions I felt at the moment. I was overwhelmed with feelings of excitement, happiness and gratefulness. "Come on, guys! Let's get our award!", Captain grabs to my hand and begins to pull me with him towards the stage as our song plays in the background. 

For the rest of the night, a smile never leaves our mouths. Each one of us feels satisfied and joyful with tonight's outcome.  From all of us, Captain seems to be the most joyful. He keeps making jokes and laughing. I feel happy just to have him back to his usual self. I even decide to forget about all the thoughts that had been consuming me. Tina had to be wrong. Captain couldn't love me. He only loved me as his brother. Yeah, only as a brother..

After a successful night, I bid farewell to the three of them and begin to make my way towards my car. "P'White! Wait for me!", Suddenly, I hear a familiar voice calling out for me. Turning around quickly, I see Captain running in my direction. Hmm? Did he have something to tell me? "What's up?", I ask curiously as soon as he is in front of me. "I was just wondering if we could celebrate today's success with beer.", He suggests as he tries to recover his breath and I look at him in disbelief. Well, that was kind of odd. We didn't usually celebrate after a ceremony, especially not alone.

I can see Captain's excited face mix with insecurity and nervousness as he awaits my answer. "But you're still under age..", I remind him and see how he pouts in disappointment. Aww. Cute! He is really cute when he pouts like this! Smiling, I carress his buzz cut and try to cheer him up, "Hey! Why not? It's going to be fun to see you drunk! Ha ha! But let's go to my house because we don't want you to get in trouble!"

"Really?! Thank you, P!", He beams happily and starts to follow my lead.

As we walk towards my car, I have this strange feeling that something is going to happen tonight. But I can't explain what it is. 

No, White..

     Captain can't be in love with you..  

                                       Tina has to be wrong..

[Author's Notes]

Hello everyone! Its my turn to update the author's column.  This is Christina. I am really excited as we are already more than 10 chapters. :) The journey has been fun and crazy as the 3 angels did fall sick. But we survive! :P I know we will going to have more fun together. We will never be at this level without all your supports. Please continue to support us ya as the exciting chapters are on the way. Love you guys!

Tina ( Thats what my friends normally call me :) )