Chapter 6: Apologies

LOVESICK : The Reality

I should've known that bubbles break with a simple touch.

Just like an already injured heart cannot bare more torture.

Its not anybody's fault, no matter how many lies you're saying, you still love me.

 

Even though the beautiful bubbles are just a spark of fireworks.

Even though all your commitments are just as vulnerable.

Love is like bubbles. If you can see through, what is there to be disappointed for?

 

[Captain's Point Of View]

 

The heat from the morning sun that penetrates through the window takes over the cool environment of my bedroom, making me feel suffocated and annoyed. The surrounding temperature starts to rise up as the cool breeze that comes from the air conditioner loses its battle against the sun, making me slowly become aware as I find myself feeling extremely hot. “Argh!”, I hastily push the blanket aside and turn on my back, shielding my face with my arm. I close my eyes tightly and try to return to sleep, but for some reason, my head feels heavy and my body is not cooperating with me either. 

After fifteen minutes of trying to put myself to sleep, I finally throw the towel and decide to start my day. Reaching towards the nightstand, I grab onto my cellphone to look at the time. Instead of concentrating on the time like I was intending, I find myself reading White’s last message; Oh, okay.. Sweet dreams... I close my eyes and allow my mind to remind me of yesterday’s events. I think about White’s pleading expression as he repeatedly apologized to me. I knew that he felt very bad for what happened. He even drove to my house to make sure that I was okay. He didn’t have to do that and yet, he did it because he cared for me truthfully. And in return.. I had treated him with so much indifference. 

“Argh!”, I scream frustrated, slapping my face against the palm of my hands. How could I have treated him like that?! I know, I know, I was angry at him because he was leaving me for Tina again. But even so, I don’t think he deserved that treatment. Specially, because it was a situation he couldn’t help. Tina needed him and he had to be a good boyfriend and be there for her. Because she was his responsibility and I wasn’t. But even though I knew all of these things, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and had to act like an . I didn’t understand why I was acting this way. I already knew that White wouldn’t be with me. Even though it was painful, I had already accepted it. Why couldn’t I control my emotions then?! If I kept acting like this, I knew that I would lose him as a friend. 

My heart accelerates within my chest at the thought of losing him. No. I couldn’t allow myself to lose our friendship. If I were to lose him, I wouldn’t be able to bear it. Even if he was never going to be mine, I wanted to at least be able to be close to him as a friend. And for that reason, I had to stop getting in between White and Tina.  I wasn’t Noh anymore and thus, he didn’t belong to me no more. He belonged to Tina and he was madly in love with her. I couldn’t allow myself to destroy the happiness they shared. Even if it was hard, I needed to stop acting this immaturely towards them and get my together before it was too late.  

Without thinking about it twice, I start to write a message for White.

"Can I go to your house today?" - LS Captain/12:48am.

"Of course you can! My house is your house, remember? 555" - Whitewo/12:50am.

"Alright! I'll be there in an hour!" - LS Captain/12:51am.

"I'll be waiting for you^^" - Whitewo/12:52am.

After reading his last message, I can't help myself from smiling. He was a amazing friend! How could I have treated him that way? I had to go and make peace with him for once and for all! Standing up from my bed, I start to strip myself off of my pajamas and change into a more presentable outfit. Even though I knew he wouldn't pay attention to my appearance and much less, find me attractive, I still wanted to look the best for him. Today, I would apologize to him and invite him to eat. Hopefully, he accepted my invitation and we could finally go out and have fun, as friends..

 

[White's Point Of View]

 

As I try to review my schedule for the week, I can't help but to recall yesterday events. No matter how much I tried to erase them, the events kept playing inside my head without stopping or pausing. The images of Captain's hurt expression and Tina's drunken appearance keep clouding my mind. Slowly, I put down the sheet of papers that I was holding and that I still haven't get to read. I have been staring at them for half an hour, trying to read them but nothing seems to register in my brain at the moment. All I can think about is on how stooding up Captain yesterday was in vain. How could I face him today without feeling guilty? What can I tell him to let him know how bad I felt? How can I make it up to him?

I release a heavy sigh and try to let go of my frustration and release all the tensions that had built up in my body. Just as I was about to close my eyes and try to relax my mind, I hear my mother call me from the living room. "Yeah! I'm coming!", I reply to her while stretching myself a little bit more before standing up and walking out of my room.

"Yes, mom?", I ask her the minute I see her as she sits on the couch. Smiling at me, she points at the garden and responds in a sweet voice, "Someone came to see you." Once those words are said, she turns back to look at the screen in front to watch her korean dramas. "Someone came to see me?", I question myself quietly as I make my way towards the garden. Oh wait! Is it Captain?! Is he already here?!  It's barely been thirty minutes since his last message. I wasn't expecting him to be here yet. 

Thinking that Captain might be here to see me, I quicken my steps and feel my heart beat in excitement inside my chest. I still wasnt sure of what I was going to tell him when I saw him, but I would figure it out once I have him in front. "Captain!", I shout as I open the door of my house, expecting to find Captain's peculiar face. But to my surprise it isn't Captain the one that waits outside, but my girlfriend Tina. 

"Oh, Tina..?", Those are the only words that come out when I see the person in front of me. I never thought I would be disappointed to see her. She was my girlfriend and I loved her. But right now, she wasn't the person who I wanted to see. The person that I wanted to see in this moment was Captain. So to see her in his place made me feel slightly disappointed. 

"White, I am so sorry!", As soon as she sees me, she throws herself towards me as she apologizes over and over again. Taken aback by her sudden behavior, I stand still without responding to her tight hug or to her desperate apologies. Still holding me tightly, she looks at me with concerned eyes, "I am really sorry for what I did last night. I shouldn't have done what I did. But my friends kept reminding me how close you are to Captain, making me doubt your love for me and before I knew it, I was already calling you to prove them wrong. I'm really sorry, White.. Please forgive me.. I know you fought with Captain because of me.. I'm so sorry.." She continues to apologize with tears in her eyes and trembling lips.

Looking at the vulnerable girl in front of me, I realize what a bad boyfriend I was. I had been concentrating too much on how to make Captain happy that I had forgotten about Tina. She was the person that truly loved me and yet, I had made her insecure about herself. "It's okay, don't cry..", I tell her gently as I hold her into my embrace. "It's not entirely your fault. I also share a part of the blame.", I caress her hair as she releases all of her feelings into my shoulder. 

I didn't know what to say, if I was quiet honest. There were mixed feelings inside of me. A part of me wanted to let her know how much I loved her while another part of me kept reminding me about Captain. It was as if my heart was divided in two halves and as if one half belonged to him. I didn't even know why I was suddenly feeling like this. I should't be feeling like this because Captain and I were just friends. And the girl in my arms was supposed to be the one I should feel devoted to.

"Can you forgive me, White? Please forgive me..", Suddenly, Tina's cries bring me back from my thoughts. "I already did so please stop crying.", I tighten my hold to let her know that I'm okay and I need her to be okay too. I hated to see her in pain. I guess when you love someone so much, you tend to do crazy stuff. I think Tina was no different when she did what she did last night. It was immature and it made me feel a little annoyed but I can say I understand why she did it. Who knows, I might have done the same thing if I was in her shoes.

We hold each other for some time until I can no longer hear Tina crying. As I slowly let go of our tight embrace, I give her a smile in reassurance, managing to get one out of her. We look at each other's eyes for some time before she finally speaks with pleading eyes, "I love you so much, White. That's why I might do stupid things in the future. But please promise you wont ever leave me no matter what. Can you promise me that?"

I see so much fear inside of those sparkling eyes of her. It's as if she would break if I disagreeded to her. No. This cannot do. I can't let her be like this. I know I love her just as much and I want her to trust me on this. "I love you too and I promise that we will always be together.", Once those sentences were said, I felt her come closer to me, pressing her lips against mine. Allowing myself to get lost in the moment, I closed my eyes and started to deepen our kiss.

 

 

[Captain's Point Of View]

 

"Wah! You look so happy today, Nong Captain.", Said the Taxi driver as he smiled at me through the reverse mirror. I had been whistling to a familiar tune and smiling since the moment I had entered the yellow car. It didn't take the driver long to notice my happiness. I look at the reflection of the middle age Taxi driver in front of me and nod my head before showing him all of my 32 white teeth. I didn't mean to be rude but right now, I am just so happy with the thoughts of seeing White one more time, that I can't find it in me to say anything.

The man aware that I am in no mood to talk, allows me to be on my own for the rest of the trip. I can only hear the sound of the car engine and the soft sound of music from the radio channel. Both of us allow ourselves to get lost in our own world while the car speeds up to bring me to the person that has become so important to me in the past days. After half an hour, the taxi finally stops right in front of a beautiful crafted stainless steel gate that divides me from White.

Standing in front of this familiar gate again, I can't contain a huge smile from spreading at my lips. Geez. I got to pull myself together or else people will start thinking I am crazy. I position myself and my shirt, making sure that I look presentable and handsome. As I hold the side gate door handle, I take a deep breath and release it in one go.

Turning the door handle clockwise, I push the door open and step inside the compound. Looking around, I can't see P'White anywhere. I guess he is waiting for me in the garden area as he always did. I would normally find him there whenever I came to his house. Slowly, I close the gate door and start to walk further inside the garden area. As I reach the back of the house, I see two figures making out without realizing that they are having an uninvited spectator that is now frozen on the spot.

I am stun with what I am seeing in front of me. I can't blink my eyes. I can't even move. I can't do anything at the moment. It's as if this body didn't belong to me. Seeing White and Tina kissing each other, make my whole body shake as I can hear my heart breaking into a million pieces. I can't feel my feet nor can I say anything. I need to breath and I need to pull myself together, but what should I do? Should I make my presence known or Should I leave?

While I am deciding what to do or what to say, I can see White's shocking face suddenly looking at me. Immediately, I turn around only to hear him calling my name, "Captain?" A flash back of the scene when Noh caught Phun hugging Pam suddenly appears in front of me. The feeling is almost the same as what Noh felt that day but this time the hurt is more painful. The hurt I feel It's a hundred times more painful than what Noh felt that day.

As I am still contemplating what to do, I can hear a girl's voice calling out my name. "Captain! Captain! Captain!", I can clearly hear Tina's voice calling my name and at the same time, I can feel a very familiar hand holding my arm to keep me from moving. Taking a big gulp of air and forcing it into my lungs, I turn around only to find White's concerned face looking at me. Tina is also beside him. "Captain, are you okay?", White quickly asks before I can say anything. 

"Hey! I..I..I am so sorry P. I didn't know you had company.. I.. I am really sorry to disturb you two. I should go now.", I raise both of my hands and try to pull myself away from his grip but it seems White is planning to let me go anywhere. I am about to make my move but he tightens his grip further and keeps holding me firmly. "No. No. You didnt disturb us at all. I was waiting for you and Tina just came by.", White tries to explain to me, tightening his grip.

"Captain, I am really sorry for making White break his promise to you yesterday. I was not being myself last night so I did things I shouldn't have. I am really sorry.", Now Tina is asking for my forgiveness. "Hey, dont worry, I am okay. It's nothing, really.", Now I am adding to the circle of requesting for forgiveness among the three of us. I want to seek for an apology to White but with Tina here, I dont think its appropriate. Furthermore, I kind of feel a little awkward and hurt with what I have witnessed earlier.

"I have an idea. Why not the three of us have dinner together?", Tina suddenly suggests an idea that definitely was not in my list. The three of us? Wait a minute. What should I do? Does she want me to be the third wheeler? I am trying to calm myself here. I won't be able to do that if the three of us are together. "Yeah, Captain. Come and join us please!", Said White with pleading eyes.

It seems that both of them are eagerly and anxiously waiting for a positive answer. Meanwhile, I keep looking at both White and Tina interchangeably and trying to find the best words to politely decline the offer. "Please come with us, Captain. Please, please, please.", Now White is shaking me and continously pleading me. How can I decline him when he is staring at me with puppy eyes?! "Argh! Okay.. Okay.. Why not?", Argh! I got to bite my tongue for agreeing to this. I am sure I will regret this later. 

 

[Author's Notes]

 

Hello, everyone~! It's Christina in here! Here is the next chapter! It has been another great time with the gurls ( Aleyda and Vannessa) and I know we will continue to have wonderful time together. Let me tell you a secret. In our next chapter, we will going to surprise you. Want to know what is it going to be? Wait for our next update ya. You guys have been supportive and we really appreciate it so much.Anyways, I hope you all enjoy and please leave your comments!

Luv yall

 

 

 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
springjasmine91
#1
Chapter 33: Awkward....They were in Japan? Am so urgh! Can't even the two! Good luck for the next chapter
Frozen_Ice
#2
hi.. sorry for askin' you. did you give up writing the story? it's so interesting. please, don't stop
PhunnohLS #3
Chapter 33: Ohhh my GOD i read this for a whole night until i didn't get to sleeep..i got emotional read this..crying for captain and angri at white...this is so good..but please don't make captain crying so much
rei06_wwct #4
Chapter 33: Im loving the angst of this story..
But Im so frustrated at the same time..i wanna be inside this story and just knock a lot of senses to these two..
LMAO..
But seriously Im enjoying every chapter of this story..

And I wonder....................................
Where is the next chapter?? T_T

Please update ...........Please
chch2602 #5
Chapter 33: Hi! I read all 30 chapters and now I leave my comments, i'm so sorry because I'm so excited that I can't say anything :) First, i want to say thank you to all of you who are writing this fiction. I love Phunoh and Whitecap too. Although the series finished I still follow them to know that they are still friends and so close to each other. But I dont know if you continue this fanfiction, I dont see the update, I'm looking forward to the next chapters.
Chap 16 Love poison is the one I love the best because for the firt time White admits his feeling for Cap with so many emotions.
Chap 29, when I think White would confess his feeling, you made me surprise with "sorry" :) (many surprise chapters before haha), but you write on Captain's pov, that is the fact I dont like much, so I want next time, when White will be the one who confess, I hope it will be White's pov, so that I can understand his actions and what he will be thinking.
And I love the other chapters so much!!!!
I'm very happy when you can make this fiction so long (than I thought). Thank you once more time. I enjoy it so much and I hope my comment can help you on writting the next chapters. ;)
FreeWanderer
#6
Chapter 16: I cry and at the same time I am angry. There is a wish to beat White!!! As he can say scurrilous things and then be surprised that to steer clear of it. I always liked the Captain more. Thanks, excellent chapter. Storm of emotions.
C-MElancholy
#7
Chapter 30: Maybe I'm wrong but I'm a bit confused???? I remember reading somewhere in the beginning that Captain's mom knew he was gay or something to that effect and that she was supportive of him but now it feels different?
C-MElancholy
#8
Chapter 9: (┳ _ ┳) be strong Captain
C-MElancholy
#9
Chapter 7: Really, talk about breaking a guys heart. xP
C-MElancholy
#10
Chapter 4: The moment White said he would invite Tina to dinner I was like "Oh hell no"