I can't call out to you again.. I won't be able to ever call out to you again..

I say goodbye but it's not what I really mean.. I spare it and leave..

I guess I thought we were only friends.. I guess I thought this was only friendship..

When I'm missing you like this, when i'm so frustrated like this, I deceived my own heart like a fool..

I guess we can't even be friends now.. I guess this can't be just friendship now..

Because when I'm next to you, because when I'm looking at you, I already know that its love..

[White's Point Of View]

When I said I wanted to see Captain drunk, I wasn't expecting him to actually do it. If I'm honest, I didn't even think he was capable of doing such thing. But as I stare at the person that currenly dances in front of me, I regret allowing him near beer. Looking at his overly obnoxious behavior, I question what are his reasons for getting drunk like this. Captain wasn't the troublemaker kind. He was very responsible and mature, unlike me. He would always scold me for drinking too much. What made him want to change that and break the rules? Were the awards the real reason or was there something else?

"Come on, P! Why are you stopping?! Celebrate with me! Yay, yay, yay~!", Captain is shouting loudly while holding his bottle up. I'm thankful that my parents aren't home to witness such scene otherwise, we would be in trouble. "Captain, that's enough! You're drunk!", I stand up from the floor and try to approach him, feeling very concerned by his behavior. Even though we had a great time celebrating, I couldn't let him continue like this. He was going to get himself sick or even worse, injured. He kept running, jumping and spinning around the room while mumbling incoherent words. 

"Come on, Captain! It's time to go to bed!", And now I'm trying to hold him down as he is still running away from me. "Hey, White! I bet you can't catch me!!", He dares me as he jumps from one bed and runs to the other. What the ? How can he be so fast and jump like that? Oh, . This will take me a while..

Ten minutes later..

After around ten minutes, he finally passes out from all the running and lies face first on the floor. (Ouch! That will leave a mark!) Smiling, I shake my head and pull him up. I needed to carry him to the bed to make sure he could rest comfortably. He was going to get a sore body tomorrow if he continued to sleep on the floor. "Come on, Captain. Let's move you to the bed. You need to rest properly.", I ordered him uselessly as I tried to hold him up. Chuckling to myself, I dragged Captain towards one of my beds and helped him get in a right position. I didn't want him to have a backache tomorrow and then blame it on me for not taking proper care of him. 

After making sure that he is laying properly, I sit next to him and stare at his face. By now, he must be in dreamland. His face is red and swollen from the alcohol consume and for hitting the floor face first. His lips are also wet and he is smirking as if he was dreaming something funny. What got into you today, Captain? What got you drunk like this? Letting out a sigh of exhaustion, I caress his buzz head cut one last time before walking over to the other bed to join him in dreamland.

[Captain's Point Of View]

3:34 am

I open my eyes slowly to find myself in a bedroom that isn't mine. I stare at the ceiling above me, feeling a little dizzy. Why did it feel as if the world was spinning? Was it me or was the earth shaking? Argh! Why did I get this drunk?! When I said I wanted to drink, getting drunk wasn't what I intended. I was planning to drink a few bottles to get the courage to confess but who would've thought I had low tolerance to alcohol. Wait a minute! I didn't even confess to White! My eyes widen when I realize that I had come here for nothing. No, I couldn't give up yet! The night was not over and I still had time!

Turning to look at the bed located on the opposite of the room, I try to gain courage to do what I had planned. White was possibly sleeping peacefully after I gave him a hard time. This made it a little less frightening and gave me a bit more confidence. You can do it, Captain! After seating up slowly, I try to stop the world around me from spinning. Seriously, why do people get drunk? If this was what it felt like, I didn't want to do it again. Swinging my legs to the side of the bed, I concentrate in the direction i'm planning to take. Hopefully I didn't fall, otherwise my confession would lose its credibility. Forcing myself up, I begin to stumble my way towards White's bed.

After throwing myself beside him, I stare at the ceiling and make a brief prayer. Rather than asking him to return my feelings, I prayed for him to not hate me after today. It didn't matter if he didn't love me aslong as he still allowed me near him. To continue being his friend, that's all I asked for. Turning to look at the person beside me, I stare in daze at his sleeping face. He looks so peaceful, so beautiful, so tempting.. I knew that I was being an for perturbing his peace like this, but I didn't have an option anymore. If I didn't do it myself, Tina would do it sooner or later and I couldn't let her have that. These were my feelings and it was my right to tell him. "I'm sorry, White..", I whisper an apology as I slowly lean in for a kiss. If I was going to lose him, at least I would get a last taste of his lips. 

I make sure that the first touch of our lips is very soft. I don't want him to wake up yet, so I try to be as gentle as possible. He doesn't respond or react at first, so I assume that he is deeply asleep. But as I try to make a small movement, I finally feel him become conscious. I expect him to push me away or to flinch back, but I'm taken aback when I feel him at my lower lip instead. He continues kissing me in a slow motion and I feel him place his hands on my waist, pulling me closer. Why was he responding back? Did he, perhaps, felt the same way? I can't contain the excitement anymore and so I try to deepen the kiss but to my disappointment, he suddenly stops and pushes me harshly, making me fall off the bed.

"Captain?! What the are you doing?!", I hear him scream at me and I raise my head to stare at his horrified expression. I didn't know what to tell him. All I could do was to stare at him in confusion. It's as if all the words I had planned to say had disappeared, leaving me with a blank mind. I couldn't even understand what was happening. He was kissing me back seconds ago and now he was wiping his mouth and looking at me with plain disgust. Where did everything go wrong?

"I..I..", I stutter as I try to find my voice again. "You were ually harrassing me!", He screams at me with hatred. ually harrassing?! Was that what I was doing in his eyes?! "No! You are getting it wrong! Please let me explain!", Getting some strenght, I stand up from the floor and take a step forward but he pushes me away again. "Don't come near me!", He orders me in a defensive tone of voice. He was currently looking at me as if I was a monster. Just by looking at him, I could tell that this wasn't going to have a happy ending.

Well, if it was going to end badly, I might as well speak the whole truth. "I kissed you because I love you!", I don't know where I found the courage to pronounce those words, but before I realized it, I had already said them. "What did you just said?!", He stared at me with a mix of horror and shock. Well, I ed up already! Might as well it all the way! "I said that I'm in love with you!", I screamed out my honest feelings and closed my eyes to wait for an answer. 

Nothing..

There was only silence..

I knew that he was also having a hard time processing everything. Possibly even worse time than me. It's not every day that your "straight" friend confesses to you. And White would always say that he hated uncomfortable situations like this one. I couldn't even dare to open my eyes to look at him. I was so scared to face the truth. I knew that he was currently staring at me with disgust and disapproval. I knew that everything was over between us. I could tell without even looking at him. And yet, I didn't have the guts to open my eyes and face it. 

I could already feel the tears start to build up behind my closed eyelids. My lips were already trembling as I contained a cry from escaping through them. I wanted him to finish with this agonizing waiting already. I wanted him to break my heart so I could grab the pieces and look for a way to put them back together, somewhere far away from him.

"Get out.", After what feels like an eternity, I finally hear those two cold words.

And finally my last hope vanished as everything came down to this moment. Just like I had feared so much, White was throwing me away as a friend. All the time we had spent together had been erased from his mind and I no longer deserved to be part of his life. The feelings I treasured so much repulsed him. And all that he felt for me was hate. Tina had finally won and I had lost this battle. Just like it was written, I was now the loser of this tale. 

Opening my eyes and biting my tongue, I stare at the person in front of me one last time. The tears are rolling down my face like a cascade and he is seeing me cry, but it didn't matter anymore. Everything was over and I wanted to look into his eyes once more. Because after today, even if we were to cross paths repeatedly, we would no longer be friends. "I'm sorry..for everything.", Those are the only words I can think of before I turn around and leave the room hurriedly. 

As I run out of the house, the tears are flowing down my cheeks and I'm crying out loudly. The sky is a dark shade of purple and the weather is chilly. To make it worse, not long after I leave his house, it starts raining on me. I wondered if this was a punishment from the heavens for falling for someone who was forbidden. If that was the case, then God was surely cruel. He was possibly laughing at how pathetic I looked at this moment. Because honestly, I did look quite pathetic. The rain was falling merciless on top of me and I was crying out dramatically. What a loser, I told myself, making my heart sting even more. 

"Oh, !", As I walk hurriedly through the dark street, I slip on the pouring cement and fall onto the ground. "Can this be any worse?!", I cry louder, as I kick at the floor and act childishly. If fans were to see me right now, I would probably lose them all. Why was everything going wrong?! Why was this happening to me?! What had I done wrong to deserve all of this?!

Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them and hide my face in them, allowing myself to cry all I wanted.

[White's Point Of View]

I'm still in shock because of what happened just now. I couldn't believe it! This had to be a dream! Lifting my head up, I try to recall what happened and put all the pieces together. I really don't know what I should do or how should I react to all of this. It is just too abrupt. Wait a minute! What did Captain just said? Okay, lets think back. What exactly did he said just now? And then, it hits me..

"I said that I'm in love with you!", Captain's voice repeats itself inside of my mind. Oh my god! Captain just confessed to me! I am currently trying to hold myself up but my legs aren't responding to my request. They now feel like jelly and are unable to hold me, making me collapse on the floor. I can't contain my emotions any longer and slowly I can feel my cheeks become wet with tears that are now flowing down.

"No.. No.. No..", I held my head and shook it vigorously. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be true. Captain would never possibly think of me in such a way. Captain would never allow anything to harm our friendship. But now, I am feeling restless, sad, angry and disappointed with Captain. But besides that, I'm also disappointed with myself. What did I do just now? What did I say to him? 

"Get out", Remembering the moment when I said those words, I can still recall the look from Captain's face. I can see the sadness and the hurt. I know that he is feeling devastated as he was trying to be true to himself and yet, I pushed him away. What's worse, I told him to get out. But what else could I have done? At that moment, I was so shocked that I was unable to think properly. I know that I shouldn't have done that to him but at that moment, it was too much to take. However, in this moment although I felt betrayed, I also was angry at myself for now I responded. Argh! Why am I having mixed emotions now?! Why is this happening to me?!

The sound of thunder and rain suddenly brings me back from my thoughts. I open my eyes and look around the empty room as the cold air from the bedroom makes contact with my body, making me shiver. As I rub my arms to create warmth, I suddenly remember something. Oh no! It's raining and Captain is out there! He will be soaking wet and he might catch a cold under this weather! I got to find him before he gets sick!

As I quickly run to the entrance door, I stop in track to think. After what Captain did, am I really worrying about him? What is happening to me? Letting out an exhausted sigh, I grab the keys and rush out to look for Captain. No matter what Captain had done or how disappointed I am at him, I can't let him get in trouble. He is still someone who I care about and I don't want him to get sick.

As I drive slowly along the empty road, I keep a close eye to the sidewalk to make sure that I don't miss him. I don't know what will happen to us next but I just feel that I am obliged to make sure that Captain is okay. I will never forgive myself if anything happened to him. Where the hell is he?! He couldn't have made it that far, right?! 

After a couple of minutes, I finally spot the figure of a boy sitting at the road side while hugging himself. Bringing the car to a complete stop and grabbing an umbrella from the back seat, I open the door to get out of the car. He looks so cold and is completely drenched. Still holding to his folded knees, he doesn't realize that I am standing behind him. How should I approach him now?

Slowly bringing the umbrella on top of him, I try to find the correct words to utter. I can see Captain lifting his head while turning around to look at me. I notice the look of shock that paints his face as soon as he sees me but I also notice that his eyes are swollen and red after crying so much. It seems that neither of us know what to say, so we just look at each other in silence. I can't let this be prolonged any longer. Not in this condition. He already looks so sick and tired. Furthermore, I am partly to blame.

"Captain, Lets go home.", I tell him without moving myself. I don't want to make him feel more uneasy than he already is. Instead, I want him to know that I will help him get through this as long as he allows me to. He doesn't say anything and turns his face back to his previous position. "Please, Captain, let me send you back home. You are going to get sick if you continue like this.", Still holding back myself, I am trying to let him know that I am here. What ever happened before is done deal and I don't intend to say anything about it, at least for tonight.

"White, I...", Captain is trying to say something but I rather we drop the subject as right now is not a good time to discuss anything. "Captain, lets just forget about it for now. The weather is really bad and we will be sick if we stay here.", Now I extend my hand to him to make sure that he gets the message. Lifting his face to look at me, he finally puts his hand on top of mine and allows me to pull him up.

Settling him at the seat of my car, I quickly go to my side while shaking the umbrella to remove some of the water before throwing it to the back seat. "Here.", I pass him a towel and signal him to wipe and wrap himself up. I would want him to remove his shirt but at this particular moment, I don't think that would be a good idea.

As we continue our journey, none of us is able to utter a word. Now that I am more stable, I'm able to think about everything that happened earlier. Although I feel angry, I can't help to feel bad. I wanted to say something, anything to reduce the tension that has now build up between us. But I don't know exactly what to say. I am also having a difficult time figuring out my feelings. What should I say? How should I reply? Captain has been true to himself by letting me know about his feelings. What about me? What do I feel now? 

As we are reaching our destination, I keep glancing at the guy next to me. I can feel how stressed he is now and I can even feel his sadness and frustration. This is really awkward as I don't know what I can do to help it. As I stop in front of the gate of his house, I am trying to form the right sentences to say.  Just when I'm about to say something, Captain interrupts me, "I am really sorry for what happened, P. I am sorry for making hate me. I didn't intend for that to happen. You are the last person that I would want to hurt. I am truly very sorry. Thank you so much for everything. Goodbye.", With those last words, Captain excuses himself out from my car. I can't move nor can I say anything in reply. It sounded like his final words or like a definite goodbye. 

Wait a ing minute! What the hell is happening now? Is this a final goodbye between us? Is he planning to drop everything after he confessed to me? And why am I getting pissed with all of this?! Argh! I am really tired with all of this drama!  As I start to move my car back to the main road, I keep thinking of what's going to happen next. How can I keep on living knowing that Captain is in love with me? What should I do? I never thought that things would become so complicated. Letting out an exhausted sigh, I continue driving through the dark night. 

[Author's Notes]

Hello, everyone! This is Aleyda! And like we promised, here is the second chapter of the week! Woah! I have to say that this chapter was very hard to write for me and I only did Captain's part! Christina was in charge of doing White this time! But honestly, I'm thankful that I did Captain's because I have a harder time writing White ~.~

I know, I know, some of you probably expected a better outcome and more progress between White and Captain! I'm sorry to disappoint you all!  But like I have said before, we are trying to make this as realistic as possible. I mean, we all know how White is. He doesn't seem like the person that would want to change his uality that quickly. And considering that in our fanfic its barely been three weeks since everything started, I think it's not the right time yet. But don't worry, Captain won't suffer for so long so please keep looking forward to it :)

On another subject, so I proposed that we would introduce ourselves more formally in the next chapters and so here we go!

My name is Aleyda De Leon ( Hahaha! I belong to a lion! [De Leon = From Lion] ) I was born in November 28, 1997 in Monterrey, Mexico. I'm currently living in Houston, Texas. I'm biual (mostly lesbian) as some of you already know. Well, what can I say about myself? My life is difficult, man.. I was born with Spina Bifida, a birth deffect that affected some of my walking. (You can search it online, but don't freak out! There's all types of levels when it comes to Spina Bifida.) I've gone through eight surgeries and three of them were major. As of now, I still can't walk for long periods of time (I get tired very easily.) so if we go to a mall, I would probably have to take a wheelchair. (Specially if Im going with another girl, because girls take so ing long..)

On the happier note, I'm a kpop fan! My favorite group is SHINee! (Like I love SHINee!! A ING LOT!)  But I listen to mostly all kpop groups (atleast the popular ones) I also listen to Jpop, Cpop and lately, Thai pop. Other things I like to do in my free time is drawing, writing, and crying over SHINee (Yeah, I basically cry a lot because of them.) And lately, I've cried because of Phunnoh. OMFG I MISS THEM! 

AND THAT'S ME!!! HAHAHA! AINT I THE HAWTEST LITTLE ?! LIKE I COULD BE THE CAUSE FOR GLOBAL WARMING! JKJK
 

Anyways, that's all I can say about myelf! Which was probably very boring! Hahaha.

No, really, yall should tell me more about yourselves! I would like to know where yall come from!

SEEE YA ALL NEXT TIME!