I didn't want to love you but I couldn't help it.

I thought I could defend myself, but my heart you can not bind. 

And I don't know, my love, what am I doing looking for you

If I win you, I lose my freedom

And I don't know, my love, what am I doing kissing you

If I don't want to fall in love

[White's Point Of View]

"We are going for a movie later today. You should come and join us!", I hear a demanding voice through the line and can't contain a smile from spreading at my lips. It had been three days since the last time I had seen this person and yet, just hearing his voice made me feel relieved. Because it meant that everything would feel normal again, at least for today. Even though it was still very early and I am usually cranky in the morning, I couldn't get annoyed at an invitation like this one. Sing was inviting me to join them for a boy's night together. All the boys from lovesick were expected to go. That means that Captain was expected to go too :)

Just when I'm about to accept the invitation, I remember that I already made plans with Tina for dinner. I knew that when it came to a boy's night, they meant all day long. We usually watched a few movies and then, went to dinner. Although I was excited to spend time with them, I knew I couldn't cancel my date with Tina. I had promised her to spend more time with her and she was looking forward to today. I couldn't back out on her now but..

"Come'on, White! Captain will also be there!", Sing reminds me and just hearing that name makes me lift my head and open my eyes widely. Just like I was expecting, Captain was also going! I would be able to see, to hear, and to touch him again. At such temptation, my heart raced within my chest and my body started to tremble. My mind went blank and before I knew it, I heard myself answering, "Count me in!" I hear a giggle on the other line and realize that I had fallen into a tramp. Sing knew me very well to use Captain as a bait. Because when it involved him, my answer was always yes. "Alright. See you at 3 at Siam Paragon!", I hear Sing's voice before he hangs up, leaving me with an excited heart.

What is this feeling? Why am I still thinking this way of him? Shouldn't we all be back to where we belong? Aren't we supposed to go back to who we were? Trying to control my feelings, I push all these questions aside. But as I try to distract myself, my mind keeps sending me back in time, making me recall events that were fiction. It sends me back to a scene in season 1, when Noh spents the night at Phun's house for the first time, he did ask for a movie trip together. And in another scene during season 2, Phun made Noh promise a movie date together. But that promised date, why didn't we get to film it? Thinking that we would get to have that date today, my mouth forms a smile. Yeah. Even though we were no longer Phun and Noh, we could still have that date for them, right?

[Captain's Point Of View]

Fifteen minutes before the according time and I already find myself in the parking lot of Siam Paragon. Although I wasn't expecting to see anyone here yet, my heart accelerates as I make my way towards the entrance. When Sing suggested a Lovesick reunion, I felt very excited and agreed without hesitation. More specially when he mentioned that White was coming to. I was so excited to see him again that I ended up coming much sooner.

I couldn't understand what was happening to me nor why I felt this way. But in the past three days, I had missed him like crazy. It was as if.. as if my life had lost its color without him. Everything seemed so boring; so dull if he wasn't around. I know, it sounds sappy. But it was the true. Even attending events became exhausting given that I no longer enjoyed them. I couldn't understand why I was suddenly feeling this way. It's not like I hadn't attended events by myself before, then why did it felt so different now?

To make it worse, the thought of him was slowly driving me crazy. Everywhere I looked and no matter what I did, there was always something that reminded me of him and made me wish that he was with me. He even started to haunt me in my dreams and those dreams.. weren't so innocent. It was as if I had been tied to his memory and now it would stay to torture me for the rest of my life.

I would tell myself that my mind was simply trying to supply me with him somehow now that he was gone but there were moments when I feared that I had fallen in love. Because if these feelings were love, I wouldn't know how to handle them. I had never been in love before. Of course I had crushes on a couple of girls but the word love was still foreign to me. And even more foreign was to be loved. No one ever loved me, at least not romantically. Phun was the first person I involved myself with. Even though it was just fiction, it still counts, right? So it scared me to think that I had fallen in love with someone who would never love me back. Because I knew that unrequited love was usually painful and I didn't want to get my heart broken.

Pushing these thoughts aside, I  continue walking on my path. My heart skips a beat and I stop in my track when I spot White standing by the entrance. Wearing a simple cotton shirt and a pair of maroon shorts, he looks handsome as usual. His smooth shinny hair glows under the rays of the after noon sun. I would like to run my fingers through it but I guess that would not be approriate at this time.

I've always admired his physical appearance. Since the day I met him till now, that's something that hasn't changed. But today, aside from the regular admiration I can also feel an intense desire as I look at him. Oh no. Don't go there, Captain. You will only get hurt. I think to myself as I stand frozen in the middle of the road.

Thumb. Thumb. Thumb.  

Why was my heart racing at the sight of him? I questioned myself as the time stopped.

The loud honk of a passing car was what brought me back to reality. I looked around to see an angry lady screaming at me to move. Bowing down in apology, I moved out of her way and into the sidewalk. Returning my sight to the entrance, I spotted White waving at me with a smile and signaling to come closer. Taking a deep breath, I took a step forward and made my way towards him.

"So you also came in earlier?", I tried to play it cool and ask White as soon as I reached his side. Smiling at me, he replies, "Actually, I had to return something to a store so I came in earlier. What about you? Why are you here so early?" I came early because I was excited to see you, I think to myself as my heart beats happily at the smile he is currently wearing. But of course, I wouldn't tell him that. 

"I wanted to visit the Apple Store, I am planning to purchase a new MacBook.", I lie to him and regret it right afterwards. Another MacBook?! Are you serious, Captain?! I had just purchased a MacBook last month. He was with me when I bought it, as a matter of fact. Thankfully, he doesn't remind me about it and just nods his head. "So should we go and get you your MacBook then?", White suggests me and I have no other option but to comply. But deep inside, I'm still slapping myself. I hadn't brought enough money for a MacBook (probably because I wasn't planning to buy one...) I would have to lie to him again once in there.

After looking at all the MacBook that were available at the Apple Store, I lied to him and told him I would purchase it another day. He looked at me suspiciously but played along nevertheless. As we made our way out of the store, we received a text message from Sing, telling us that they were waiting for us. Deciding that we should join them, we start to make our way towards our meeting point. 

As we made our way to the entrance, some fans recognized us and asked for pictures. Going into our professional mode, we started posing for the pictures. As we posed for them, my heart felt contented. Because not only did I had White back with me but because the fans were capturing this moment and I would have something to look at to remember this day. Once they were satisfied with the takes, they finally continued on their own paths. Looking at me with a playful smile, White joked, "They must be happy to see us on a date." My heart accelerates at the last word pronounced. "A date", although I knew that he was joking that word still made a huge impact on me coming from him. Why are you making it harder on me, White? I don't want to fall in love with you..

When we arrive with the other guys, I don't miss to notice the funny looks that Sing and Ngern give us. They were probably thinking weird things about us again. They often joked that we had a secret relationship. Well, in this moment, a secret relationship didn't sound like a bad idea. "Well, the movie is starting in ten minutes so we should start moving.", After a while, Sing announces and we start to walk towards the theater region of the mall.

Wanting to spend the most time with White, I stick to his side like glue, ignoring the funny looks that Ngern and August were throwing at me every once and then. "So.. how have you been doing lately? Is there anything new?", I decide to break the silence and ask White, who seems to be deeply in thought as he walks. He turns to look at me and replies in a soft voice, "Well, I've been doing okay. Nothing new. What about you?"

Before I can bring myself to answer, Ngern interrupts me, "Have you broken up with Tina yet, that's what Captain meant to ask you." What a bastard! I'm going to beat his later! Im blushing and about to argue when White responds to Ngern's question confidently, "Nope! We are still going strong!" I feel a prick of pain run throughout my body meanwhile, the boys start howling at his statement. I knew that they were serious about their relationship and it had never bothered me in the past, then why was I suddenly sad to be reminded of it?

After we buy our tickets and what we are going to consume, we manage to arrive at the theater without discussing more about White's love life. I'm thankful to Sing for changing the subject right afterwards. Otherwise, I don't know if I would stand it. Why is it bothering you so much? The voice inside of me asked as we took our seats inside the theater. We were watching Attack on Titan the japanese live version. This had been a movie I had been looking forward to. So as soon as the movie starts, I distract myself from my conflicted mind and immerse myself into the screen.

What takes my attention away from the movie is White's hand that makes contact with mine as we reach for the popcorn bag at the same time. Habitually, we would share popcorn whenever we came to the theater together. Aside from saving money, we were also saving calories which we both saw convenient. But today, feeling his skin against mine only served to my conflict which I didn't find convenient anymore. Craving for more of this warmth, I wanted to grab his hand and intertwine our fingers, like we had done so many times before. But I knew I couldn't do that no more. So to avoid an awkward situation, I glued my hand to the arm rest and tried to concentrate on the screen in front. 

Im taken by surprise when I feel the side of White's hand press against mine firmly. Trying to play it cool, I keep my eyes glued to the screen, ignoring the fast beating of my heart. He is just doing it without knowing; dont think too much about it, I tell myself as I gulp down, ignoring the sweat drops that are forming in my forehead. However, I'm taken by surprise once again when I feel White raise his pinky finger to intertwine it with mine. My heart races even more and my breathing becomes uneven. Why was he doing this to me? Perhaps.. was he feeling the same longing that I was?

Slowly, I turn to look at him to find him staring at the screen intently. Turning back to look in front, I choose to do something that I might regret later. I allow myself to turn my hand around, getting our hands to be palm against palm. Closing my eyes and letting out a deep breath, I intertwine our fingers and hold his hand tightly. Although at first he doesn't respond, seconds later he holds my hand even tighter. By now, my heart is beating a thousand miles per hour and my breathing is uneven. Can he feel my excitement through my palm? Feeling contented with all of this, a smile creeps on my lips as I stare at the screen in front, submerging myself in the world of fantasy once again.

As soon as the movie comes to an end, White pulls his hand out of my grasp. Although I felt disappointed, I knew that it was for the better. We wouldn't be able to avoid the teasing in case they were to see us holding hands. As the credits rolled, everyone stood up and started to leave the theater room. Once we were all outside, we started to discuss the movie as we directed ourselves to our next destination. Our opinions were divided in half. Half of us thought it was good while others thought it was bad. In my opnion, it was awesome! (even though I spent half of the movie thinking about White's hand that held me tightly..)

"So where should we have dinner at?", August asked as we walked through the mall without a destination in mind. "I don't know. Anything is fine.", Ngern spoke as he shrugged. "Hmm. How about Chinese food? There's a new restaurant that just opened up not away from here!", Sing suggested and I cheered, finding his suggestion to my liking. I had heard about that restaurant as well. Despite barely opening, it was a sensation already! Actually, I was planning to invite White but I didn't know how.

"You mean the one that opened up last week? We are in!", Said Ngern excitedly as he held August by the shoulder. Feeling excited, I turn to look at White and ask him, "How about you, White? Are you okay with it?"

"Actually.. I won't be able to have dinner with you, guys..", White announces and my excitement drops. He wasn't having dinner with us?! Why was he not having dinner with us?! I'm about to whine when Sing beats me to it, "Why not?! You know the rules when we hang out! It's all day long and no one leaves before dinner!" Yes! You tell him, Sing! I cheer for Sing silently, hoping for White to change his mind. 

"I'm really sorry, guys.. But I already had plans with Tina for dinner.. And I can't back out now..", White bows down apologetically and my excitement drops even lower. No. It doesn't drop; it vanishes at the mention of her name.  I couldn't believe this was happening! He was leaving us; he was leaving me for Tina! This might be the last time we can all come together like this and yet, he was still choosing Tina!

I make a fist as I feel the blood boil in my veins. Meanwhile, Sings keeps trying to convince White to stay. However, White's refusing serves to my annoyance, making me act before I can think. "We don't need him! Let him leave!", I say bitterly and start to walk away towards the entrance, leaving the four guys confused behind of me. I know that this is not the way I'm supposed to act but right now, I can't find it in me to care. Because in this moment, I'm way too angered to look at his face.

[Author's Notes]

Hello, everyone~! It's Aleyda in here! Here is the new chapter! Actually, it was planned to be longer but then I got an idea and after discussing it with the girls, we decided to make something else about the next chapter. It's going to get intense hwahaha! (I'm trash for drama) Anyways, I hope you all enjoy and please leave your comments!