I am not the owner of your heart..

I am the extra person in this room..

I want to stop loving you and bury this pain. 

I want my heart to forget you;  I want to be like you, I want to be the strong one.

The only thing I asked in exhange was your sincerity.

I want love to finally answer me; Why am I always the one with the bad luck?

[White's Point Of View]

A couple of hours later, we bid farewell to the crowd that watches us as the event finally comes to an end. Everything had gone according to the usual plan. We would entertain everyone with our fan service and get them to ship us together even more. Even though the sessions had concluded, we were encouraged to continue with the fan service to keep the interest and support coming. And although I wasn’t sure whether that was a good idea, I followed their directions willingly. I had grown accustomed and it didn’t bother me anymore, anyways.  However, I still wondered how long we could keep this up without getting ourselves affected.

“So are you all ready?”, I ask Captain as we get our belongings from the waiting room. Grabbing his wallet and phone from the hairdresser and putting them on his pockets, he turns to look at me with a smile, “I’m ready but I want to use the restroom first. Would you mind waiting for me in your car?” After nodding my head, he leaves the room hurriedly and I start to make my way to the exit of the building. 

As I walk towards my car, my phone starts vibrating inside my pocket, making me stop in the middle of the empty road. Taking it out of my pocket and looking at the caller ID, I find a beautiful face and a familiar name on the screen. Smiling to myself, I answer the phone and continue crossing the road to my car, “Hello?”

“Hello, White?! Where are you?!”, I hear an unsteady voice through the other line and furrow my eyebrows at her tone. “I’m at an event with Captain. Is there something wrong?”, I ask her, feeling concerned. “White, would you come and see me right now?”, She asks me and my mind reminds me of the plans I’ve made with Captain. “Hmm. I’ve already made plans with Captain. Why? Is there something wrong?”, I respond, feeling a little concerned. It was unusual for her to ask me out and there was something in her voice that told me that something wasn’t right. 

“White, would you please come and see me right now? I really need to see you.”, She tells me in a whiny voice, making me worry even more. “Why? Is there something wrong?”, I ask her but she refuses to speak, making my worry grow even more. After struggling to make a decision for half a minute, I let out a sigh and agree to her petition. I’m sorry, Captain but I need to take care of Tina now. I’ll make it up to you another day.

After hanging up on the call, I look through the glass just in time to see Captain leaving the building and making his way towards the car. By the huge smile he was showing off, I could tell he was happy. Now what was I going to tell him? How could I break his bubble and cancel our dinner? I questioned myself and ruffled my hair in exasperation. I hear the door of my car open and look at Captain as he sits on the passenger seat and asks me excitedly, “So where are you taking me for dinner, P?! You better be paying!”

[Captain's Point Of View]

I stare at White expectantly but instead of seeing his usual mischievous expression, I find a troublesome one looking back at me. “Captain. I’m very sorry but.. I don’t think I will be able to take you to dinner today.”, He informs me with guilty eyes and my heart stops within my chest as I try to swallow his words. What?! This can’t be happening! He is cancelling our date! “Wait, what? But you promised me you would have dinner with “me”! Why are you canceling it now?!”, I emphasize the word “me” to remind him of his promise earlier. I know I sound pathetic and desperate right now but he did promise me we would spend time together tonight and now he was breaking his promise. I deserved an explanation, at least.

“And I did want to have dinner with you but.. Tina called me for help and I..”, He explains to me but his voice become mute to my ears after he mentions her name. Oh no. This couldn’t be happening. He was leaving me for Tina again. Once again, anger boils within my veins and before I realize it I’m spitting with resentment, “And so you stood me up again.”

He opens his mouth and closes it once again as he cannot utter a word in his defense. After a while in silence, he looks at me with pleading eyes and apologizes again. He then comes closer to me and raises his hand to hold my shoulder but I flinch away and say the next words to him, “It’s alright. I am not that important to you, anyways. You should go and see Tina. She’s the one that really matters to you.” I manage to pronounce all of this in a steady voice, but the truth is that my heart was breaking into pieces and I wasn’t sure how long it would take me to break down. 

“Hey, don’t say that! I can’t compare the both of you! You’re like my right and left hands, you see? I wouldn’t function properly if I lacked one.”, White tries to console me but in the end, those words are nothing but words. Tina was still winning in reality and we both knew it. “Please, Captain! Don’t do this to me! I will make it up to you, I promise! Just not tonight!”, White’s pleading words keep coming to me but they are only making me feel more rejected. “Nah. Its cool. I understand. You should probably go now. Don’t worry about me, I’ll catch a Taxi.”, I try to fake a smile to reassure him and he just looks at me concerned.

Before he can argue back, I bid farewell and get out of the car. Walking into the sidewalk, I wave at him and fake a smile to let him know that I’m fine. But deep inside, I’m anything but fine. I just want to disappear from the scene and be home, alone. Thankfully, it seems my prayers are answered because a Taxi heads my way just in time. Signaling that I need a ride, the taxi stops next to me and without looking in his direction again, I enter and leave everything behind.

Once inside, I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay and so my smile disappears. I’m at the border of breaking up now. I can’t breathe and my lips keep trembling as I fight back tears. Oh, please move faster and take me home, I can’t help but to pray. I didn’t want to break down in front of the Taxi driver. By the admiration in his face, I could tell he knew who I was. What would he say about me if I were to break down in front of him? He would probably think I was weak and stop admiring me. And that was possibly true. I wasn’t a person others should admire. I was very weak and easily broken. It’s just that I had mastered to hide my true feelings so they wouldn’t see just how vulnerable I was. However, I wondered how long would I be able to pile all this up without exploding?

As soon as the driver parks outside my house, I pay him the driving fee and enter my house. Luckily, my mother is upstairs in her room, so I manage to get to my room without anyone asking me about my day. Honestly, I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to respond to any questions right now. As soon as I am inside my room, I rest my back against the cold surface of my door and allow myself to break down. Tears after tears come rolling down my cheeks and I place my hand on top of my mouth to muffle a cry. Why was I hurting so much over this? I mean, I already had accepted that we wouldn’t be together and yet, it felt as if my last hope had been snatched from me.

After fifteen minutes, the tears finally begin to cease, leaving me with puffy eyes. Besides the puffy eyes, they also left me with a heavy burden in my chest and a weird feeling of anxiety. As if I would drown if I didn’t talk to someone right now and distract myself. Not doubting it anymore, I pull out my phone and start to dial the number of the person I know that will distract me.  

After half a minute, she answers my persistent call in a hoarse voice, “Hello?” She probably was sleeping already and although I feel bad for disturbing her, I needed her to be lucid right now. Raising my voice to get her more alerted, I speak, “Hey, Pineare! Sorry to disturb you! What were you doing?!”

“Oh no! I was just about to go to sleep but don’t worry about it! So what’s up?!”, She tries to reassure me but I can still picture her rubbing her eyes. “Nothing. Just here, feeling a little lonely.”, I respond honestly as I embrace myself. “Oh, lonely? Didn’t you had an event with White today? Why aren’t you together? You could’ve gone have dinner.”, She asks me and my heart throbs at the last sentence. Well, we were supposed to have dinner but he stood me up.. for Tina.

“Nah. He is busy..”, I say miserably and let out a sigh.

There is a small moment of silence as she tries to decipher something before she speaks in a caring voice, “What is it, Captain? Is there something wrong? You know you can tell me.” How can I explain my feelings to her? Would she be able to understand me? This is no longer a drama. This is real life. Would she be able to accept the fact that I’m in love with another boy?

“Well, actually.. we had made plans to go to dinner but he.. had to leave..”, I try to talk in a steady voice but my voice breaks near the end, making me sound miserable. “Is it Tina? Are you jealous, Captain?”, Wait, what?! What did she just said?! How does she knows?!

“What are you talking about?! Why would I be jealous?! This is Captain, not Noh anymore.”, I joke and laugh at my own joke but my heart is throbbing inside my chest. “Captain. I know. So don’t pretend that you don’t know what I mean, okay?”, She tells me in a serious voice and my laughter stops. Well.. she is right. I should stop pretending. Specially, when it’s this obvious.

“You’re right.. I am jealous..”, I admit and let out another sigh. “Captain.. Are you in love with White?”, She asks me and my voice leaves me.. This was the moment. Once I admitted this feelings to her, they wouldn’t be a secret anymore. And although I know she wouldn’t go around spreading it, once I admitted them there would be no turning back.

As I try to find my voice again, my phone announces the arrival of a text message. Telling her to wait a moment, I look at the message received and find another apology coming from White. And once again, I am reassured about my feelings for him. “I am.. I am in love with White.”, Without thinking about it, I admit my feelings for him and feel as a burden leaves my chest. 

[White's Point Of View]

When I arrive at Tina’s house, I notice the three cars that are parking outside her place. Is she in company?, I ask myself and furrow my eyebrows. Parking my car in front of her neighbor’s house, I get out and start to make my way to the entrance. As I walk towards the door, I notice the music blasting from the distance and wonder if her neighbors are having a party but as I get near to the door, I realize that the music is coming from the other side. Oh no. She did not just make me cancel my dinner with Captain for something stupid, right? Feeling afraid of what I might encounter inside, I knock slowly on the door and wait for them to open up.

After knocking for at least five times, the person I am here for opens the door and welcomes me with a gigantic smile. I look at her from head to toe in search of a sign of discomfort but she looks perfectly fine. Actually, she looks more than fine. Wearing a short dress that allow me to look at her slim legs, she holds a glass of wine in her hand. Oh, no.. Please don’t tell me that..

“Guys, my precious boyfriend has arrived!”, She cheers as she clings to my shoulder and my doubts are confirmed; she is drunk. At her announcement, two familiar faces peek from inside. Both girls look just as drunk as my girlfriend. After seeing my face, one of them who I recognize as one of my friend’s girlfriend, comes and pats my shoulder, telling me in an unsteady voice, “Congratulations, White! Your girlfriend just won a bet!”

I couldn’t believe it. Tina had made me all worried for nothing. If I would’ve known I wouldn’t have canceled my dinner with Captain. Oh my god, Captain. I had disappointed him and made him angry again. “Wait.. so you called me and made me come only to prove a stupid bet?!”, Looking down, I can see that my hands have formed a fist as I felt anger boil inside of me. I know that I’m probably overreacting but right now, Captain is everything I can think about. I had promised him tonight and I had stood him up. To know I had done that for nothing made me extremely pissed. Tina seems to notice my bad mood soon because she looks at me with a pleading look and pronounces my name softly, “White..”

Not saying anything to her or to her friends, I turn around and start to make my way towards my car. I hear Tina calling my name from behind but right now, I didn’t have time to listen. If she wanted to talk to me, she could wait because in this moment, my priority was someone else. Entering my car and turning it on quickly, I started to drive towards a direction I knew too well. I knew that it was probably late now, but at least I could try.

After a fifteen minute drive, I finally find myself parked outside of Captain’s house. It was already past 10pm and I knew it was late for unexpected visitors. I also wasn’t planning to interrupt their peace; especially not now that his family was probably resting. I wondered if he was asleep. He would normally sleep early but I wasn’t sure how early that was. If I called him out right now, would he answer me? If I invited him to dinner, would he agree to come or had he already had dinner? It didn’t actually matter. All that mattered was whether he was alright. I needed to know that he wasn’t angry at me to be able to sleep tonight.

Bringing my phone out I start to dial his number, hoping to hear his voice answer me. But that hope disappears when my call is sent straight to the voice mail box. Feeling at lose of words, I hang up on the phone without recording any message. I still wasn’t thinking of giving up though. I was going to send him text instead

"Are you alright?" - White wo/10:34pm.

"Yeah." - LS Captain/10:37pm.

"I'm outside your house. Would you mind coming out? I don't know. We can go and hang out somewhere. 555" - Whitewo/10:37pm.

"I'm sorry, White but I'm tired. All I want to do is to rest right now. I'm alright, don't worry. Talk to you later." - LS Captain/10:40pm.

"Oh, okay.. Sweet dreams ^^" - Whitewo/10:40pm.

Letting out a sigh of disappointment at the final outcome, I start my car and begin driving to my own direction. I make a stop when a traffic light turns red and take this opportunity to think about what happened a moment ago. He said he was okay, but for some reason, it felt like a lie to me. I knew I shouldn't be worrying too much but was he really alright? Dont worry about it, White. He is probably doing fine. The one that isnt doing fine is you.. because you are in love with him..

My eyes widen as  the last statement resonates in my mind; Am I in love with Captain?!

  ...

The honks of the cars behind me is what pulls me out of my thoughts to shake my head in denial.

No. I'm not in love with him. I just care for him because he is my friend.

Yeah. Thats what Captain was..

                                                 Just my friend..

[Author's Notes]

Hello everyone, this is Aleyda here! Today is Christina's turn to write the Author's notes but before, I would really like to say some words. I want to thank every and each one of you for being there for me when I so much neededsomeone. Although you weren't with me physically, you were here emotionally, showing me your support and bathing me with encouraging words. All those comments and messages made me realize that I'm not alone and that I should keep believing. It's so beautiful to know that there's people out there, that despite not knowing me, still cared for me and treated me better than those that did know me. It really means so much to me and I want to thank you. I know I with words and this might sound very dumb, but nothing can describe how thankful I am, so once again, thank you and I love you all.

A "best friend" is someone who will love you the day you forget to love yourself. 

Now onto Christina's and Vannessa's messages. Christina really wants to thank all of you for all the support we have been receiving. Vannessa wants to thank all of you and say hi for the first time. Like I have stated before, reading all those comments and finding more subscribers every day really makes us happy since we've been working very hard on this. Everyday, we talk to each other and plan for the future chapters. It has been a ton of fun! And I'm so glad that I got to do this. When I'm with these two girls, I forget about time and my surroundings and just immerse myself in the world of wwct hahaha. 

Anyways, some of you might be desperate for us to update so I should shut up and give yall your chapter already hahaha

ENJOY AND CRY A LOT  HWAHAHAH (Yes. we are torturing poor captain :)