“But I…” she started. “I’m not childish. Oppa, you only wanted her attention all night. You’re not what you promised to me.”

Donghae glanced at her unable to heave a sigh.

“I’ll be good, I’ll be patient, I can do whatever you need me to do to wait. I just want you to choose me, oppa,” Hee Sun said.

The burden was there silently hanging in the air. When he finally left the house he drove around a bit wondering what his best friend was doing with the girl he longed for. Finally returning home he walked through the house in the dark and made his way up the stairs. Entering his bedroom he glanced at the precious photo Hee Sun had once taken from him and walking over to it he ran his hand over Victoria’s smiling face as if she were there physically. Breathing slowly he sat down on his bed and glanced out the window.

Would Victoria really be alright if he went to be with Hee Sun? Would she be alright if she saw them together, really together? Would he be alright if he saw her with Eunhyuk? No. It wasn’t alright. Why did things have to get so complicated when it didn’t need to be? When would they be able to see each other again without recalling that they had a reason to stay apart? It was beginning to depress him.  

/////

Victoria always ended up pouring her stress out by drinking. And again she was accompanied by Eunhyuk. After 3 hours they finally left the tent and headed back toward the car without even realizing that they’d already walked passed it. They stumbled a few times and walked into some poles and ended up laughing like maniacs. The street they had walked onto was nearly empty and not a soul was in sight.

“There’s a giant dragonfly over here!” Victoria shouted pointing to a rock on the ground.

Eunhyuk stumbled over and started laughing, “It’s a deer not a fly!”

“Huh? Oh! It is a deer!” shouted Victoria then continued laughing.

She turned left to walk pass him but instead bumped into him. Slowly tilting her head up she felt her face brush against his chest, shoulder, and a bit of his neck before she froze. She felt him gulp and they remained like that for what seemed like minutes. Their lips just centimeters away from each other.

“I’m drunk,” Victoria declared with a funny smile on her face.

Her eyes were half closed and her brain was spinning. She felt wheezy and felt as if she’d fall if she moved. She was sure her face would be red from the alcohol she’d just consumed.

Eunhyuk’s mind was in a blur and it felt like a hard challenge for him to set his mind straight. Unable to do so he found himself staring down at her, his heart pounding slowly. He felt their lips slightly brush before she fell against him.

Victoria awoke the next morning in the backseat with the sun in her face and turned to look up at the top of the car. she sat up rubbing her head and felt her messy hair before she turned to see Eunhyuk sleeping in the front passenger’s seat. Combing her hair with her hands Victoria glanced outside to see that they were parked by the road in front of the bank. Had they been there all night? Her head throbbed and she felt something like a needle stabbing her brain. Leaning back in her seat she waited for Eunhyuk to wake up. When he finally did half an hour later he looked as confused as she felt when she woke up.

“Wha…what happened?” he asked sitting up.

“Do you have a hangover?” Victoria asked.

Eunhyuk became silent as if thinking then opened the door, “Lets get something to eat first.”  

After grabbing a meal at some restaurant he finally took her back to her home before heading back to Incheon.

/////     

Some time during that afternoon Donghae walked out of the house to find Eunhyuk getting out of his car. When Eunhyuk spotted him he waited for him to walk over sure that Donghae had something to say and he did have something to say.

“Lets go out for a bit,” Donghae suggested stopping in front of his friend.

“I thought you were going to ask why I didn’t come home,” Eunhyuk told.

“And that too,” Donghae added.

They found themselves sitting inside a restaurant with a nice view of the river, two cups of iced coffee in front of them.

“It’s the first time I’m drinking iced coffee in a long time,” Eunhyuk commented turning his cup around and around, “and it’s been a long time since sitting somewhere public like this with you. I guess a lot of things have happened.”

“Well, don’t feel awkward,” Donghae told. “So answer me. Where were you last night?”

“I was in Incheon all night.”

“Are you lying?”

“Did you wish it was a lie?”

Donghae stared at his friend accepting the fact that he hadn’t been in Seoul, “And what were you doing?”

“Enjoying a few drinks.”

“Alone?”

Eunhyuk smiled, “No.”

Donghae stared at him again.

Eunhyuk sipped his iced coffee, “You make me feel like the bad guy, so don’t stare at me.”

“It’s not like I’d be interested,” Donghae said.

Eunhyuk laughed a little laugh, “Sarcasm.” He glanced at Donghae then said, “Well, you know it, so why are you asking?”

Donghae gritted his teeth gently.

“Don’t mind me if I say this but…you and Hee Sun are almost alike,” Eunhyuk pointed out, “the only difference between you two is that Hee Sun stands up for her own feelings, and you don’t. If you knew the answer, why do you still want to hear it from me?” It reminded  him of the time when Hee Sun was asking him who was it that her oppa loved. She still asked when she knew. “I think memories are a little sarcastic.”  

Donghae was silent.

“I’ve become a little emotionally tired,” Eunhyuk told, “if I don’t sound like my usual self, I hope you understand.”

When Eunhyuk began to get up Donghae quickly asked, “Where is she?”

“Where do you think she is?” asked Eunhyuk. “But…don’t go to her. Please Hae. You heard her last night, if you go this time it’ll make things harder-two times harder than it already is.”

When Eunhyuk finished speaking Donghae had already turned and dashed out the door. As soon as he got in his car he was on his way to Seoul. The roads were familiar and everything zoomed passed him. The hour was long, every minute felt longer than it was supposed to be. It was sort of like giving a speech in front of the classroom with 50 students. Even though you knew nobody you were nervous with your heart beating 10 times faster than normal.

He agreed that it was an act on impulse. Maybe he wasn’t thinking straight but if he didn’t see her now then he probably wouldn’t see her again. With that thought he wanted to go.

When her house came into sight he jumped out of his car and ran toward the door ringing the doorbell. He rung the doorbell again and again but she didn’t answer.

“Victoria!” he screamed her name again and again.

He ran to the oval window to look inside and only saw Melodix running inside frantically. Victoria had to be hiding inside if she was home. He rung the doorbell again and again but she didn’t come. His heart ached, he was helpless. He wouldn’t have this time again. He’d never be able to step back into her life.

/////

Victoria turned her head back slightly as if she would be able to see the front door from inside her bedroom. Glancing at the phone she held she called Eunhyuk and raised the phone to her ear.

“When are you coming?” she asked.

After a few minutes Victoria finally walked out from her bedroom to the front door. If she opened the door he’d either hug her or drag her off somewhere. Gulping she slowly reached for the doorknob and twisted it open. With her heart beating quite fast she glanced at him letting their gazes meet before he suddenly went on his knees before her. Right then it felt as if the world was shaking. Shock and surprise only hit her gluing her feet on the spot.

“I shouldn’t have come back.” Donghae said. “You would say that. You would tell me to go again and again. Because I’m not good at this so I can’t stand up for myself. I disappoint you and tell you to wait when I can’t even be there. I never give you clear answers and I’ve hurt you numerous times, that I know. Before I might not see you again I just want to apologize.”

Victoria stared at him unable to bring anything out of . Maybe she wanted to cry but the feelings didn’t come. Her heart just throbbed uncontrollably. When she looked up Eunhyuk was standing at the end of the walk staring at them. Victoria just stared at him silently asking for help.

The unbearable pain, the deep grave feelings were all visible in Eunhyuk’s eyes. Slightly turning away Eunhyuk finally walked forward stopping behind Donghae.

“This is the second time I’m telling you to get up,” Eunhyuk told.

Donghae didn’t move from where he was.

“Hae,” Eunhyuk called again.

When he finally got up Victoria glanced up at him and quickly turned away.

“If you want to apologize, don’t do this,” Victoria told. “And I’m telling you to go back again.”

Victoria couldn’t help but glance at him again fearing that it would be the last time she'd see him.

“Lets part…on good terms,” she told trying to swallow the lump in that was going to make her voice shaky as she extended her hand.  

Donghae’s eyes watered before he took her hand and shook it. And that was the last she saw of him before she watched him drive off. From the side Eunhyuk glanced at her unsure how to comfort her. He knew their feelings were uncontrollable-that’s why he didn’t want Hae to come. He’d just long for more of Victoria and it’d make it harder for him to be with Hee Sun. It’d also make it harder for Victoria to try to part with him. When he finally glanced at Victoria he found her trying to smile while holding her hand in a fist.