Donghae bit down on his teeth. What should he say to his uncle? How should he explain himself? What could he do to destroy this bitter feeling inside himself?

“If you tell me I can help you,” his uncle suggested, “it’ll make you feel better if you tell someone.”

“It’s nothing. Nothing’s wrong, so don’t worry uncle,” Donghae assured without even turning to look at him. “If I ever need help I know you’ll be there to help me.” He took a breath and finally found the strength to look at his uncle. “It’s late. You go to sleep.”

With just those words Donghae headed out the front door.

/////

Victoria sat on the bench with Eunhyuk beside her feeling the cold breeze. Eunhyuk watched her reach her hand up to fix her bangs for the twentieth time.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized to her for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.  

She didn’t utter a word until she turned to him, “Do you want to go for a drink?”

Eunhyuk watched her pour herself cup after cup. Even when they’d been sitting there for an hour she hadn’t said a word, but only drank. He wanted to stop her but couldn’t because he’d allowed her to see Donghae and Hee Sun together. Nothing could mend her pain.

She finally set the cup down on the table and heaved a long, loud sigh. Tears were at the end of her eyes, but she wasn’t letting them fall. Why was she being so stubborn, he wondered.

“I hated him,” she started, “I disliked him so much at the start. He’s the best at confusing someone. When I was in the hospital I wondered, ‘Is he really concerned? Or is he just trying to annoy me? He seems just like a nosey ahjumma.’ But I felt safe. Do you know? That guy, that detective who calls himself an investigator, he actually went to see that dude who killed his parents. What guts…what guts…”

Eunhyuk didn’t take his eyes off of her

She took a loud breath with her breathing shaky-sounding as if she were sobbing, but she wasn’t even crying. She looked up and he could see the visible tear glands in her eyes like big dew drops.

“He’s like a kid…I didn’t like him, but he does have the power to make someone go beyond crazy for him. How ridiculous.” She laughed a little. “I thought I was too selfish only caring about my own feelings when he went cold on me. So I wanted to apologize and start clean even when the voice at the back of my head said, ‘You’re going to lose In Seol again.’ I found food for him when he was sick and I gave him medication…but he told me he didn’t know what to do…and so I waited silently. It felt like watching In Seol in a coma anxiously waiting for him to wake up. If he did I would try to be so much better, but I couldn’t do anything. My heart.” She raised her hand up to the left side of her chest. “It didn’t allow me to sink. Why didn’t I tell him to just look at me? Why? Why? Why? I didn’t say anything and that’s why he called one night and said, ‘Lets end it here.’ He should have at least said it in person, don’t you think? Don’t you think?”

Eunhyuk felt tears arise in his red eyes.

“Why…why do I feel like I’m losing In Seol again?” she shook, and finally cried. “What have I done wrong?”

She tried to hold it back at first, but then it came out as little moans. When she couldn’t hold it any longer she began bawling like a little 5 year old crying for her mother. She sunk and sunk until she buried her face onto the table and he couldn’t do anything but watch.

An hour later Eunhyuk tiredly helped her back to his car with one of her arms slung around his neck. She walked with her knees so bent that it was hard to even walk himself. Suddenly pulling away from him she jumped onto the green field they were walking pass with knees on the ground. He stood back sure that she was going to vomit but she did nothing. Victoria just stood there on her knees as if she were out of breath. He got down beside her and turned to look at her feeling his heart go out to her. Eunhyuk smiled softly at her and watched her smile sweetly back. His mind became a tangle of loss when she suddenly put her hand on the side of his face.

“You…who are you?” she asked raising her eyebrows. “Donghae…or…In Seol?” He stared back at her as if he were drunk himself. “But you…remind me…of Lee Donghae.” And the ‘spell of his mind flying away’ finally broke when she kissed him.

/////

Donghae drove around the neighborhood continuously but her car wasn’t even in the driveway. Victoria had not yet returned. Feeling empty he sat outside her home for over an hour and finally left.

/////

Eunhyuk parked the car in her driveway, got out, and circled the car to the passenger side. Opening the door he got Victoria onto his back and with keys in hand he unlocked the door closing it behind him. Walking in he was greeted by the loud barking of Melodix who was jumping against him.

“Not now girl,” he told opening the door to Victoria’s bedroom.

After tucking her into bed he turned around and paused when he noticed the closet half open. Ignoring it he began to walk away and paused when he saw a half opened box on the ground. Feeling intense curiosity at what it was he walked over and found some papers inside but a picture on top of them. In the picture a large blossoming tree in the background with pretty pink-green leaves outstretched before a large purple building. A large sign to the right with gold letters read “康复宿舍” with English words underneath that read “Rehab Dorm”, though he couldn’t quite understand the English translation. Moving his eyes to the left were a group of young teenage boys and girls standing together posing for the picture. To the far left of the picture stood a tall boy with an arm linked around a young Victoria’s shoulders. Putting the picture back in the box he put the lid on and pushed it back into the closet closing it.

/////

Victoria turned over in bed opening her eyes to the light in her apartment. She felt like she’d slept too long. Getting up with messy hair she got off her bed and walked out to find Melodix running around excitedly. Glancing around she realized she was in her home.

“What happened?” she frowned still looking around as if someone were there.

Just a while later she found something to eat and sat alone at the table slowly recollecting yesterday’s events. Turning to look out her window she recalled Donghae’s quiet eyes and Eunhyuk’s endless apologies. She couldn’t recall anything after drinking with him. Had she cried and made a fool of herself? If Eunhyuk had left her in her own home he must have left in the middle of the night.

Eunhyuk didn’t return to visit her that day.

/////

When Eunhyuk awoke his father watched him from the end of the hallway as if he were going to say something. Turning away Eunhyuk closed the bathroom door after him. A few minutes later when he sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of him his father’s cold presence became visible when he walked in. He sat a few seats away from him and they sat in silence as Eunhyuk continued chewing on his cereal. They looked like an angry pair of son and father who’d just finished arguing.

“Victoria Song, your mother would like you to bring her again,” his father broke the silence.

Eunhyuk didn’t reply.

“You’re so quiet that I’ve never talked to you like this before,” his father said. “Is she your girlfriend?”

“Why? Would you like her to be?” Eunhyuk asked without looking at him.

“She seems decent, but does Hee Sun know her too?” his father asked.

Eunhyuk didn’t say anything.

“Why was there that strange atmosphere at the dinner table last night?”

“You’re never this curious, dad.” Eunhyuk set down his spoon. “But don’t worry. I’ll bring her back next time, just make sure that Donghae and Hee Sun aren’t here.”

With that Eunhyuk got up from the table and walked out the back door. He was most angry at Donghae now. Sticking his hands in his pocket he walked down the round driveway only to stop when he heard a loud beep from someone locking the door. Looking up his stare met with Donghae’s. Without a word Eunhyuk walked forward and slammed his fist into Donghae’s face. Within that split second Donghae hit him back and they stared at each other.

“How can you call yourself a man when you left her crying like that!” Eunhyuk shouted.

Donghae stared back at him, “Why were you with her? Why did you bring Victoria!”

Eunhyuk clenched his hand into a fist and held it, “You’ve completely made her crazy! You don’t even know how much pain she is carrying! She cried all night! All night! She talked about you all night! You…and how she feels like she’s losing In Seol again. Who is he? Her dead boyfriend?”

“Why are you worrying?” Donghae asked. “Get away from her.”

Eunhyuk grabbed the collar of his shirt, “Move back to Incheon. You no longer have a reason to stay in Seoul.”

Donghae pushed him away, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

They continued staring at each other furiously.

“Move back to Incheon and stay with Hee Sun. I’ll accept it, so move back to Incheon,” Eunhyuk said when Donghae began to walk pass him.

Donghae paused.

“If you’re going to stay with Hee Sun, you move back to Incheon. If you’re so willing to do anything for her, come back to Incheon and only focus your attention on her. Victoria doesn’t need to see you and you don’t need to see her anymore.” Eunhyuk turned around to stare at Donghae’s back. “I have a point and you know it.”

Donghae turned around and their eyes finally met again. “Why?”

“I know you’re hurting, but your hurt only came from the decision you made so I don’t feel bad for you. You’ve left her behind in your mess,” Eunhyuk began calmly, “so I’m going to defend her. Hee Sun is a child who doesn’t understand anything but the fact that she wants you. For her sake I’m telling you to come back to Incheon.”

“And what are you going to do if I come back to Incheon?” Donghae wanted to know.

“She’s no longer yours,” was all Eunhyuk said before he began walking away.

***康 复宿舍=kangfu sushe. ^^Eunhyuk is finally going to do something, forcing Donghae back to Incheon :)