“Don’t come any closer!” Hee Sun screamed turning her head back.

Victoria came to an abrupt stop.

“Why’d you come! Why!” Hee Sun screamed.

Victoria could only stare at her.

“You don’t know how I feel. You don’t know how bad this hurts. When I found out I was pregnant the world went falling,” Hee Sun cried, “this baby cursed me. It told me reality hated me but in the end it gave me oppa. But my oppa could care less about me. You don’t know…how many times I’ve secretly wished I were you. You don’t know how I feel!”

Hee Sun shook her head so hard that her long hair went flailing everywhere.

“I don’t want to have this baby if it won’t give me oppa.” Hee Sun went on. “I don’t want to carry this baby whose father I don’t even know. You don’t know how bad it feels…I don’t want to have this baby alone…I won’t have this baby without oppa.”

Victoria listened to the girl’s voice shake heavily. Even though the girl was selfish Victoria understood how she felt about the baby.

“Watch me die and regret for the rest of your life that you ever entered oppa’s life.” Hee Sun said.

She grabbed onto the rail and was ready to lift her leg over the edge when Victoria rushed forward pulling her back. Hee Sun struggled in her hands and cried and tried to push her away. Embroiling into a push and pull fight they finally both fell to the ground and Hee Sun began bawling.

“You once said that love is childish,” Victoria said setting her eyes on the girl before her, “this is being beyond childish, you’re stupid Hee Sun.”

Hee Sun just cried. All her hopes of having her oppa were crushed and she knew it, the one sided love that had lasted all her life. The burden of the baby of a stranger growing inside her became heavier.

“I don’t want to have this baby who came from a ,” Hee Sun cried trying to clutch onto the concrete roof but her hands only balled into a tight fist. “I don’t know this baby…I don’t want him…I don’t know why I’m having this baby. Oppa…doesn’t even love this baby…”

“Shut up,” Victoria snapped.

“Don’t say that to me!” Hee Sun shrieked. “You don’t know how it feels! How difficult it feels to be carrying him around 24/7! I don’t want to give birth to this stranger.”

Victoria stared at the girl with hard eyes from where she sat, “Have the baby. You’ve already been letting it grow and don’t speak like that. He hears you and knows what you’re saying. He’s going to be disappointed for having such a foolish mother.”

Hee Sun stared at her almost shaking.

“You…be thankful to your oppa.” Victoria told. “There’s only one reason why he left me for you.”

Hee Sun’s eyes seemed to soften a bit before she continued crying.

“I know it’s difficult to have the baby alone.”

“You don’t know anything! Stop pretending like you understand. You don’t, you don’t, you don’t!” Hee Sun shook her head glaring at her about to get up but stopped when Victoria spoke up.

“I was pregnant once,” Victoria said and when Hee Sun turned to her Victoria let their eyes meet. “I lost my boyfriend so I had the baby alone but I ended up losing the baby.”

Victoria hated talking about the subject. It brought the unmistakable pain she still remembered when she woke up in the hospital bed and just cried for hours.

“You’re selfish Hee Sun. Your oppa doesn’t want to let you go through this alone so he’s by your side. Just be thankful he’s by your side,” Victoria spoke, “you once told me he deserves better than me so I’m going to spin the words back at you. He deserves better than what you’re giving him because he cares so much. Jung Hee Sun, your oppa doesn’t need to love you, your oppa is allowing you to love him, isn’t that enough?”

She knew she’d caught 100% of the young girl’s attention because her eyes and ears were on her only. Speaking about In Seol and the unnamed baby she’d lost made her fight the tears that were urging her to let them out. Getting up Victoria extended her hand then grabbed the girl’s wrist gently pulling her up. Without a word she turned around and opened the brown door leading her back inside.

When the door slowly closed behind them Victoria stared at Donghae who was standing in front of them. She felt Hee Sun’s wrist disappear from within the hold of her hand rushing forward and throwing her arms around her oppa. Their eyes met while Hee Sun begun her wailing. Unexplainable emotions flew from both their eyes. Smiling a little at him with a nod Victoria walked pass them and down the flight of stairs. Finally when she reached the bottom of the stairs she paused when she saw Eunhyuk standing there. Silence filled the capacity in the building and the loud humming from the heating machines ran behind the walls. They listened to only the noise before Victoria stepped down from the last step and Eunhyuk walked forward pulling her into a hug full of comfort.

/////

When Donghae reached the bottom of the stairs with Hee Sun’s hand in his he didn’t see Victoria or Eunhyuk anywhere in sight. He just stood there as if they would appear in front of him any second.

“Oppa,” Hee Sun called him pulling him out from his thoughts, “is it true?”

Donghae remained silent.

“She said she lost her baby.”

So she had spoken about that.

“She did.”

“Were you there?”

“No.”

“Did you know though?”

Donghae didn’t reply.

“Did she tell you?”

“No.”

“Why…do you love her when she already had a baby?”

Donghae was silent and only turned to face her saying, “Hee Sun-ah, you’re tired. Lets go home.”

“Oppa,” Hee Sun called again, “you aren’t answering me.”

“I love her because she is who she is.” Donghae answered.

Hearing the words from him felt different.

“You always loved her?”

“Hee Sun.”

“Oppa, answer me.”

“I only want her.”

Donghae knew he had no choice but to give her the answers she wanted. Even though the pain scrunched up on her face described every piece of her heart falling apart it would be better than letting her blindly stand by. Hee Sun slowly slid her hand out of his. It was the first time he’d ever spoken like that with her.

“Oppa,” she said, “don’t come to me when you have nothing to give me. When you smile at me my hopes fall up then climb down when you faze out while with me. It hurts when I think you’re going to come to me, but you walk away at the end. Because you do that I hang on continuously and I become greedy for more when you won’t give it to me. Then you do it again. You smile and I wait some more because it seems like you’ll love me and then that waiting turns into pain. Even though it hurts it feels like you’ll eventually come to me and so it hurts even more. That’s how it was oppa. My feelings were like this.”

Donghae listened attentively.

“Oppa,” she continued, “you shouldn’t have done this to me, you shouldn’t have left her for me. It was all wrong from the beginning. You shouldn’t have done it if you can’t even try to love me. Oppa, you were wrong this time. So oppa, stay with me. You have to stay with me until I tell you to go.”

/////

“Thank you,” Eunhyuk thanked, “for stopping her.”

They were sitting side by side in front of the river by the same area where they’d run to after Eunhyuk beat up the man who hurt Hee Sun. Victoria stared down at the ground feeling the wind rustle her hair.

Eunhyuk turned to stare at her for a long time, “Donghae, did he come to you that night?”

Victoria raised her eyes up from the ground but didn’t turn to him.

“What did you two do that night?” Eunhyuk asked.

“What do you think we did?” Victoria replied.

Eunhyuk smiled, “You’re really the best at answering a question with a question.”

Victoria also smiled, “Eunhyuk, you don’t like me do you?”

Eunhyuk turned away from her without answering.

“You wouldn’t have permitted Donghae to come if you did like me,” Victoria pointed out. “You don’t have those kind of feelings for me, it’s that you’ve never stopped feeling sorry toward me.”

They turned to look at each other.

“I felt sorry for him,” Eunhyuk told turning away, “Hae was searching all over for the picture in the dark. Wouldn’t you allow him to run back if you saw a man searching desperately for just a picture? Just a picture, can you believe it? He even fought with Hee Sun.”

“He’s an idiot that way,” Victoria commented. “It’s a good thing you aren’t exactly like him.”

“Do I…remind you of Hae?” Eunhyuk asked.

“What?”

He remembered the night she had said how he reminded her so much of Lee Donghae. And the mistaken kiss she had given him hummed at the back of his head. He decided then that he’d never tell her of that incident.

“I had a question I wanted to ask,” Eunhyuk told.

Victoria waited for him to go on.

“But…I think it’s better that I don’t ask,” Eunhyuk added.

The way he said it made her feel a bit apologetic as if she’d missed out on something. They were silent. The kind of silence that came after somebody was hurt.

***The words from Victoria to Hee Sun are the simple things that Hee Sun has seen but has been avoiding (If you put yourself in Hee Sun's shoes, of course realize that it's a difficult thing to carry a child from a stranger. It causes uneeded stress and depression. Don't forget that she grew up differently from everyone, she never had things easy). Victoria was just giving her a taste of reality. And Donghae's final answers about his feelings are also a final blow to Hee Sun. When she slides her hand out of his it's a sign that she's ready to leave it as it is.

***“Oppa,” she said, “don’t come to me when you have nothing to give me. When you smile at me my hopes fall up then climb down when you faze out while with me. It hurts when I think you’re going to come to me, but you walk away at the end. Because you do that I hang on continuously and I become greedy for more when you won’t give it to me. Then you do it again. You smile and I wait some more because it seems like you’ll love me and then that waiting turns into pain. Even though it hurts it feels like you’ll eventually come to me and so it hurts even more. That’s how it was oppa. My feelings were like this.”---It's clearly a one sided love. I took some of these words from Suju's What If (A song from their 3rd album that is about a one sided love). A one sided love is full of pain, you would know if you've been there before. So, therefore it was hard for Hee Sun to let go when Donghae was always there, within sight-within reach. Do you think Hee Sun is right when she says that Donghae can't leave her until she tells him to?

***Another thing: what Victoria says to Eunhyuk that he's never had real feelings for her, do you think she's right? And the way Eunhyuk answers makes you contradict him. What do you think was Eunhyuk's question?

***Not sure if I actually showed how my characters changed, but I hope that I was able to do some of it here.