For Lovesungmin 

It's angst for you missy.

The TV flickered in the small apartment casting shadows across the walls, making them jump and splutter.

Sungmin couldn’t sleep with the TV on, in case something loud came on, jolting him from sleep and pushing him into flashbacks of bombs and guns. Sometime that happened anyway, his own brain conspiring against him to make his nightmares seem more real than they ever should be. It was funny how, when it was actually happening, it seemed so unreal. Men couldn’t be falling like that. Blood shouldn’t be that red. Now the time had passed, the reality had come crashing down.

Sungmin was watching TV because he couldn’t sleep.

He’d gotten sick of these same apartment surroundings, but it was better than what lay outside. Kids buying games where they killed for fun. So much traffic a child couldn’t play on the streets. Not that he thought this world is the worst place to live in. No. It just wasn’t his world at all. He only left the house when the agency required him to. The work was the only thing that kept him going.

He flicked through channels aimlessly, finally settling on a red carpet type affair. He figured he better get up to date on who’s who, in case one of them inevitably got kidnapped.

Kibum’s face flashed up, arm around a beautiful brunette. Sungmin had a tendency to forget that the other was famous. He couldn't equate the smooth talking celebrity with the doofus who needed Sungmin to rescue him after a fairly common explosion in his lab. He'd been laughing as Sungmin hauled him up off the floor from under metal, covered in oil and grease. He hadn't said thank you of course, but his smile was bright enough to blind. Sungmin leant forward in his bed, focusing on the profile that came up, feeling his heart tug at the mention of Kibum.

Kibum had invited him to one of his parties, once, and to both of their surprises, Sungmin had attended. It had ended with -

Kibum pressed his lips to Sungmin’s and he tasted of martinis and just the lightest hint of cigarettes. He was drunk and Sungmin was tipsy, and he kissed him back, of course he did, because it was Kibum and this was all he’d wanted for months -

Kibum hadn’t remembered the next day. His eyes barely settled on the blond man before moving away, expression neutral. Of course he wouldn’t remember. Sungmin tried to ignore the sickness in his stomach and pretended not to care too.

But now he was alone, as usual, and he pressed the the button to turn the TV off. Kibum was just a silly dream anyway, he could enjoy his party. Sungmin needed to sleep.