Hongbin woke up early in the morning, two hours before his alarm would go off. Normally he would just turn around, close his eyes and try to get some more sleep, but now he just couldn’t. Today he has school and he would see Sanghyuk and the others. They would probably be ignoring him the whole day. Wonsik must be furious because he lied to him. Hakyeon and Taekwoon are really protective over Sanghyuk like he is their son, so it wouldn’t be surprising if they are angry like parents protecting their child. Jaehwan was the only one who wanted to talk to him, but he would probably wait until school has finished, since that would be the right moment..
 

Knowing there was no need to stay in bed, he got up and began to prepare breakfast. After breakfast he made himself ready for school and now he has one and a half hour left. He just sat down on the couch, staring at the black tv screen in front of him. The time just passed by so slowly.
 

He let out a sigh when just five minutes had passed. He lied down on his back on the couch, looking at the ceiling. He just couldn’t find a way to kill the time. He felt nervous, lonely and afraid for everything that might happen that day and the rest of the week and so on. After turning round and round it was finally time to leave the house. He took a bus earlier, just so he wouldn’t have to walk past the others.
 

School passed by slower than it normally would, no friends to chat with in class nor at lunch break. Jaehwan did text Hongbin from time to time. Asking if he’s okay or telling him not to feel lonely because Jaehwan is still there for him, but still Hongbin did feel lonely. He rather had contact face to face than through texts.
 

Lee Jaehwan: School is almost over, just a little bit more! I know you can do it~ We can meet at that healthy diet smoothie shop. I know it’s not really exciting or something but no one would find us there and we could talk there in private, since almost no one comes in there.

Lee Hongbin: You mean that store next to that perfume and beauty shop, right?

Lee Jaehwan: That’s right. see you there as soon as possible after school~

Lee Hongbin: See you there.
 

The school bell rang, signaling that the classes were over. Hongbin packed his bag as fast as he could and walked past the others to the exit of their classroom. He didn't had to look to know the others, except from Jaehwan, looked at him in disgust.

Hongbin was the first one to arrive at the shop, he ordered a biologic mango smoothy and took a seat at one of the empty tables. Jaehwan arrived fifteen minutes later. He ordered a biologic apple-pear smoothie and took a seat in front of Hongbin.

“Hi.” Jaehwan said cheerfully.
“Hi…” Hongbin returned the greeting with a sad voice. He felt some sort of nerviysness coming from his stomach
“Come on, a little more cheerful.”
“Sorry, it’s just that I’m surprised you still want to talk to me.”
“You know how I am. We have been friends for such a long time, you should know that by now.” Jaehwan let out chuckle
“I know… but still.” Hongbin paused, taking a sip of his drink. “What I did was so wrong and unforgivable.”
“I know, it really is, but I would like to know your side of the story.”

Hongbin let out a sigh before he spoke.

“I guess it all started two years ago. Do you remember that time when Sanghyuk began to date that girl”
“Yura? Yes, I remember.”
“Well…I felt so heartbroken on the day they started dating that I got myself some alcohol and got drunk. I was so drunk that I made a fake Facebook profile. I wanted to sent a friends request to Sanghyuk, but I passed out before I could. Ever since, that profile was never used again. Not until a year ago. I was feeling pretty down, you know it’s pretty hard… crushing on one of your best friends, knowing they would never be yours and only think of you as an older brother.”

Hongbin took another sip and looked outside as he continued.

“I logged in on that account and sent Sanghyuk a friends request. I was glad he accepted since he doesn't add strangers to his friends list. We started to talk and I enjoyed every second of it, he acted so different when chatting to Hyeonwoo than that he does to me. The way he talked to me in his messages and how worried he was for me, it made me fall for him even more. Even though he thought I was someone else.”

Hongbin looked at his glass and smiled a little.

“But in the Summer break, he was with me all the time. He was helping me out and we both had fun. Normally, I have a feeling that he only sees me as an older brother, but that day I didn’t had that feeling at all. The whole summer break felt like the two of us were dating.”
“He confessed to Hyeonwoo right on the last day of summer, right? He asked me if I had time to talk with him about something that day. Turned out he was confused about his uality.” Jaehwan said
“I see. Well, he did confess to Hyeonwoo that day. I was so happy when he did, I finally had a way to talk to him as a lover without freaking him out.”

They both took a sip of their smooty, by now the two of them were half through their drinks. Jaehwan places his glass back and spoke.

“So… what was it about when you got so annoyed at Sanghyuk’s place? And what about that you told Wonsik you were jealous of Hyeonwoo?” Ken asked
“As the time flew by I began to feel scared, I was afraid my secret of being the catfish come out, so I made it look like I was being jealous and annoyed whenever Hyeonwoo got mentioned. I thought it would be a great way to let others not suspect me. I also pretended that Hyeonwoo was an old classmate of Wonsik, just so everyone would stop thinking Hyeonwoo was a catfish. I really thought it out well because I was so afraid… I didn’t wanted to lose everyone… but in the end I did.” Hongbin said, tears rolling down his cheeks

“I wish, I realised what I did was wrong sooner.” He continued. “I felt so guilty for lying to everyone, especially Sanghyuk. I wanted to stop it all, but I just couldn't go back. I was caught in a web of my own lies. There was no way back and I began to feel horrible. That’s when I decided to stop keeping in touch with him… but… he became so desperate to see me… and when I saw how he terrible he was doing mentally and physically… I felt so guilty…” Hongbin said, now sobbing. “I… I couldn’t take it anymore… so I showed him… that… that it was me all the time… and now everyone hates me…”

Hongbin was then leaning on the table with his elbows as he buried his face in his hands, crying. Jaehwan said nothing, he just looked at his poor broken dongsaeng before he shoved backwards. The sound of the chair scratching over the floor confirmed Hongbin that Jaehwan hates him too and was about to leave, but what Hongbin didn’t expected was to get hugged. It was something he needed so much. It calmed him down almost completely now he knew Jaehwan was still there for him.

“That’s not true, I don’t hate you. Of course I’m not proud of what you did, but I am proud of you for being so brave. I wish I was like you.” Jaehwan said
“You… you want to be some idiot that catfished the… the love of his life?” Hongbin asked confused
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Then… what do you mean with it?”
“Never mind, It’s nothing…”

Hongbin softly pushed away Jaehwan to free himself.

“Hyung, it isn't nothing, is it?” Hongbin said with concern “You can trust me, I won't tell anyone.”
“I… I don’t know if I can tell you. I’m afraid and I-” Jaehwan began to talk faster and faster
“Just relax and take your time.” Hongbin interrupted him

Jaehwan let out a sigh before going back to his seat. He looked around the shop, there wasn’t anyone except for an employee behind the counter. She was listening to some music and her expression showed how bored she was.

“Okay… I will tell you, but don’t tell anyone.” He said as he stirred his straw through his drink

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“I…why is it so hard to say... I...” Jaehwan took a deep breath “I’m biual…” He said softly, only looking at the surface of the table like it's the most interesting thing in the world

“You don’t have to feel embarrassed because of that.” Hongbin said

“I know…”

“Do you like someone of the same ?”

“I do, but I’m pushing that feeling away. The one I like is as straight as a ruler”

“You know some rulers can bend.” Hongbin said, trying to cheer Jaehwan up

“This kind of ruler I’m comparing him to can’t bend.” Jaehwan said and let out a sigh. “Don’t give me false hope, it’s not gonna happen anyways…”

“It’s okay, I’m here for you. I know how you feel, I have been in that period too.”
“Thank you.” Jaehwan said. “You know... even though what you did was wrong, I do understand it a little.”

It then became quiet, the two just enjoyed their smoothies in silence
 

“But I think you should talk and make up with the others.” Jaehwan said after he finished his smoothie

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. They hate me and would never listen to me.”
“Still I think you should still try. I know that you hate it just as much as me that our group of friends is falling apart.”
“Okay true, but I don’t know if I can face them.”

“I think it’s best to talk to them one by one..”

“But who should I talk to first?” Hongbin asked

“Wonsik.” Jaehwan answered