I couldn't explain on how I feel right now, is this what I get from years of staying by your side? All of your tantrum, all of your wishes. Am I doing wrong? Do I not deserve to be at least valued? When you were down, I will always be there with you, when the weight of the world burdened you, I was there to help you lift it up. You broke your own words, saying that no one ever going to feel disgusted on me, but what happen now? Your words become a thin air whipping pass my ear, those eyes looking at me like I was invisible. Those lips are now uttering words that throbbing like a knife to me. "It was just an act" the words keep ringing in my head, I try to grasp you in my hand but you keep slipping away.

"Amber" a voice breaks me from my thought, I turn to see the person that now smiling sadly looking at me.

"Hey, you are here. Do you want anything to drink? I'll get it for you" 

"Just give me as usual" I nod and went to the counter 

"A cup of Americano and a slice of blueberry cheese cake please" I took a glance outside the window while waiting for the order, I saw a couple holding hands while talking happily to each other and when I turn my gaze to the corner of the cafe, I saw a couple that feeding each other with cakes. I unknowingly smile on the scene.

"Here is your order" I pay for the order and went back to the table with a tray in my hand.

"Here is your drink and cake" I could still see the sad eyes

"Am.."

"Ailee, look. If you just going to talk about her, just stop." I sighed when I saw Ailee eyes widen, I never raisem y voice to anyone before.

"I'm sorry for using that tone, but please. Can we just stop talking about her everytime we meet up?"  

"Then stop faking yourself, you are 1 of the most cheerful person I ever met Am but you're not being yourself anymore" the remarks trigger something in me, I clennched on my chest. The pain, the same painful sting that struck me on the last meeting with you.

"Am, are you okay?" I could hear the concern voiced from Ailee but I couldn't utter a words, the pieces of memory that I'm trying hard to bury are coming back to me. I nod weakly, keeping my head down. I don't want to let anyone see my vunerable sides, I just hope everything will vanished, this pain. I couldn't bear it any longer. An awkward silence replaced the scene, I feel Ailee hand on mine, I know everyone around me trying to help me. I did try to help myself as well but reality . The fate playing with me so cruel that I wanted to just run away from everything.

"Your phone is ringing, do you want me to pick it up for you?" Ailee said while pointing at my phone, I couldn't see the caller ID as I never bother to check it anyway, I nod and I saw how Ailee carefully talking to the person on the line. She scrunched her brows after awhile and I know the news that she about to give me isn't pleasant for me at all.

"Am, you have to go to Sm building now. Your manager want to meet all of you." I looked away before looking at Ailee again, she gave me a small nod.

"Do you want to come with me?" my voice are shaking, I'm not ready to meet you yet.

"Sure, everything going to be okay llama. We're here for you" Ailee squeezed my hand softly.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Come in" I heard a voice inside the room, I take a peek before bowing to him. My manager, I could see his questioning looks when he saw AIlee beside me.

"Sorry hyung, she's with me" My manager just nod before asking Ailee to wait at our practice room, I could feel your cold stare. Looking at me like you want to freeze me to death, I'm battling myself to not spare you a glance.

"Alright, the company decide to released your group mini album on April. Luna, Sulli and Victoria will have to slow down with your individual schedule. Krystal, you will have a photoshot at Milan next weak for Highcut magazine" I stare blankly at my manager, I've been having a lot of schedule for me as well. And to be honest, today is my first off day from recording the AS4U.

"As for you Am, I need to talk to about your schedule arrangement, you have to film AS4U and composing your song for your upcoming solo album." I nod on that

"What is the problem with that?"I asked nonchalantly

"The problem is, you agreed to be featured in a lot of other singer single as well. I'm afraid you won't have time to rest." 

"I can manage this hyung, I need to earned more this year too" I jokingly said but I know everyone is concerned about me, while I obviously don't care about any rest.

"Yesterday, the director of "Real Men" approached me. He want to feature you in the women special episode, the filming will start on 12 Jan, the same day that you going to have filming for AS4U as well"

"Have you decline the offer?" 

"No I haven't I just finish reviewing the schedule and I'm going to talk to him after t