“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? Why didn’t you stop it?” Yifan ran his fingers through his hair and huffed. “You made things so much harder for yourself.”

Luhan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I know...”

“Then why did you do it? Why did you keep it to yourself?”

“Because I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t even look you in the eye, Yifan. How do you expect me to tell you something as important as that?” Luhan let out a sigh. “I’m really tired of all this.”

Yifan eyed his younger step-brother worriedly. He leaned back on the bed and used his palms to hold himself up. “I talked to Sehun the other night,” he said.

Luhan’s eyes widened and he whipped his head around to look at Yifan. “What? When?”

“A few nights ago when you were out with Zitao,” Yifan answered. Luhan gave him a confused look. “I called him and asked him to explain. He gave me pretty good answers for someone who was crying.”

“He was crying?” Luhan asked. Throughout his 2 years of knowing Sehun, he had only seen the other cry twice.

Yifan nodded. “He kept asking where you were and if you were okay.” Yifan leaned forward and put a hand on Luhan’s. “He really cares about you, and I think you need to let him explain.”

“What is there to explain?”

“A lot, Han. There’s so much to explain.”

~OoO~

Sehun tossed and turned in his bed. It had already seemed so much emptier without Luhan and now that Luhan wasn’t even home, the house seemed too quiet. His eyes cracked open and he squinted to see the clock in the dark. It was 2 in the morning, which meant he had been lying in bed for an hour already.

Sehun groaned and sat up. He wasn’t going to get any sleep anyway, might as well do something. He walked out of his room and into his study. He flicked the light on and situated himself on the office chair and got to work.

Sehun smelled pancakes. His eyelids fluttered open and he sat up. He wiped the corner of his lips with his sleeve and rubbed his eyes. Pancakes? There wasn’t anyone home but him. Sehun frowned and stood up. He tiptoed down the stairs and peeked his head into the kitchen.

“Luhan?”

The said turned and the corner of his lips tugged upwards. “Good morning.”

Sehun stared at Luhan in awe as Luhan flipped the half-cooked pancake over. Luhan? Why was he here? Taking large strides, Sehun crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Luhan’s waist and buried his face in the crook of Luhan’s neck. “I thought you were in China. I thought you left me.”

“You’re so silly. Why would I leave you?” Sehun took a deep breath and inhaled Luhan’s familiar scent. He missed this. “Hey, I’m almost done. You ready to eat?” Sehun shook his head and closed his eyes. This was something he wanted to engrave into his mind forever. He heard Luhan’s laughter and felt heat rush to his cheeks.

“I love you hyung,” Sehun mumbled.

“What? You never call me hyung,” Luhan said. He picked up the plate with five pancakes stacked on it and brought it over to the wooden table, Sehun waddling behind him, still wrapped around Luhan’s body.

“Well I’m starting now.” Sehun smiled in bliss until he felt like something was pulling him away from Luhan’s body. He tried to reach out to Luhan’s figure, he tried to call Luhan’s name, but the other never turned around. After a particularly loud yell, Luhan’s head turned and Sehun’s eyes widened when he saw tears in his eyes.

“You don’t love me,” he heard Luhan whisper. Sehun felt his heart break into smithereens and stepped on.

Then he landed on the floor and woke up to a throbbing behind and a sore head.

~OoO~

Luhan frowned. His head was hurting again and pressing a hand to the spot he thought it started from did not help. Zitao eyed the grimace on Luhan’s face before telling him to go lay down.

“You don’t look so well. A bit green in my opinion.” Zitao pushed him towards Luhan’s room and gave him a small, reassuring smile. “Go ahead. I have a drama to watch anyway.”

Luhan nodded and padded off to his room. He flopped down on the bed and covered himself with the blanket. The pounding in his head eventually faded and Luhan let out a sigh. He hated being like this. He hated how he was so weak all the time. And lastly, he hated how people always had to worry about him, especially Sehun.

Sehun. Luhan wondered what he was doing at the moment. Was he overworking himself? Was he worrying about him? Was he with Jongin? Luhan frowned at the last thought. Even though Sehun said that he wanted to explain and that what Luhan saw wasn’t the whole story, Luhan couldn’t find himself to trust those words. Maybe it was because he had trusted Sehun too much in the past only to have that trust trampled on.

Luhan tightened his hold on the blanket. All those negative thoughts about Sehun hurt him. He loved Sehun, and even through all the he brought Luhan through lately, Luhan still couldn’t find himself to hate his husband.

“I’m so stupid,” he said to himself. “Stupid in love.”

“You want to go out for dinner?” Yifan asked.

Luhan shook his head. “I think I’ll stay home.”

“We’ll bring you something back, Luhan,” Zitao said before taking Yifan’s hand and dragging him out of the house.

Luhan stared at the door for a few moments, a small smile gracing his lips. His step-brother’s relationship with his husband had gotten better since the last time he talked to Zitao about their love-life. But while he was feeling happy, there was also pain. Pain that his relationship with Sehun wasn’t the same.

Luhan heard the door creak open an hour later and glanced from the television to see Yifan stepping into the house.

“Where’s Zitao?” he asked. Luhan reached for the remote and turned the TV off, basking the room in a silence.

“He met one of his old friends while we were out. They’re catching up.” Yifan held up the plastic bag in his hand. “Here’s your food.”

Luhan smiled and jumped off the couch to grab the bag. He brought it to the kitchen and ripped the bag open. He broke the chopsticks and opened the foam containers. The smell of the food wafted into the air and Luhan felt himself salivating. After being away for ten years, he had forgotten about these types of food.

“Hey, calm down. You’re going to choke.” Luhan glanced up from his food to see Yifan pulling a chair out to sit across from him. “And you have rice stuck right there.” Yifan pointed at his own right cheek and Luhan brought a hand up to wipe the grain away.

“Thanks,” Luhan mumbled.

“Hmm.” Yifan watched his younger step-brother stuff himself with the food. “Slow down Han.”

Luhan made a noise and wiped his lips with a napkin. “I’ve missed this food, can’t I eat?”

“You’re going to either choke or get indigestion,” Yifan scolded.

Luhan huffed and stood up. He strode over to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. He broke the seal and drank half the bottle. Luhan sat down at the table again and continued to eat, but slower this time.

Yifan had this feeling in his stomach to ask Luhan was what wrong. He knew that Luhan was feeling uncomfortable at something because of the way he was acting. It wasn’t like Lu Han.

“Han, are you okay?”

Luhan stopped eating. “Fine, why?”

“You seem bothered by something,” Yifan stated simply.

“It’s nothing.” Luhan brushed it off. Yifan wouldn’t understand anyway.

“Han,” Yifan said.

“You’ve been calling me that an awful lot lately.” Luhan poked at his rice with his chopstick. “Why?”

“Well you’re married and stuff. You’re technically not Lu Han anymore,” Yifan said.

Luhan made a face. “Why doesn’t Sehun take my last name then?”

Yifan laughed. “Because we both know you don’t top.” 

I updated unstead of writing my essay due tomorrow. :P 

Anyways, here's some random facts about this story if you want some. Click~ 

P.S. That last bit because I thought I was putting you guys through too much drama. Much love~