Luhan and Zitao were sitting in a café.

“It’s arranged?”

“That’s what the dinner was about last night,” Luhan replied, sipping the coffee. “But you mustn’t let anyone know that it’s arranged. Omma and Mr. and Mrs. Oh are going to tell the press that we’ve been together for a year already.” Luhan sighed. “The ironic thing was that we broke up for a year already.”

“But you still love him right?” Zitao asked, pausing to choose his words carefully, knowing that it was a sensitive topic. Luhan nodded. “Well at least you have something to look forward to every morning.”

Luhan laughed sarcastically. “He’s probably going to make me sleep in another room, and when out parents come over, he’ll make me sleep in his for show. Sehun’s changed a lot.”

The two continued to sip their drinks and eat the pastries on the table.

“How’s it like being married?” Luhan asked out of the blue.

“To Yifan? It’s like not being married at all.” Luhan cocked his head to the side, a confused expression on his face. “I never get to see him,” Zitao explained, “He’s gone before I wake up, and I’m asleep when he gets home. It’s an endless cycle. Even weekends are lonely because he’s a workaholic.” Zitao sighed. “I hope your marriage is better.”

“But he loves you. You know that at the end of the day, he’s going to be home and that he loves you. For me, it’s different. I don’t know if Sehun’ll be home, and know for a fact he hates me.”

“You don’t forget your first love,” Zitao mumbled.

“Huh?”

“You’re his first love. You don’t forget your first love.”

~OoO~

Sehun waited at the red light, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He glanced at the white bag next to him, red tissue paper sticking out from the top. Sehun huffed, blowing his bangs out of his face. “Hurry up...” he mumbled. When the light turned green, he stepped on the gas and sped down the street.

Sehun made his way up to the fifth floor and went down the familiar hallway to apartment 510. He clicked the doorbell and waited.

“Why are you here?” he heard a soft voice say.

“My mother wanted me to apologize for leaving you last night.” Sehun held up the gift bag. “I brought this.” He heard a small beep and then the door opened, revealing Luhan in an oversized t-shirt and pajama pants, hair disheveled.

“Apology accepted.” Luhan stuck out his hand and Sehun handed him the bag. “Goodbye,” Luhan said, closing the door. Sehun blocked it with his foot.

“She wants me to ‘get to know you.’” Luhan gave him a look but opened the door and let Sehun in.

“You want water or tea?” Luhan asked, dropping the gift bag on the couch and disappearing into the kitchen.

“Water’s fine.” Sehun cleared the sofa and put the stack of papers on the floor next to him. He sat down and waited. Luhan came out a few seconds later with a water bottle and tossed it at Sehun, who caught it.

“Do you want me to refresh your memory? Or do you remember things but have to stay here?” Luhan asked. He scratched his head and ruffled his hair, blinking tiredly.

“Did I wake you up?” Sehun asked. “I can come back another time...”

“Why do you sound so nice? Yesterday you called me pathetic. Today you’re talking as if nothing happened. What happened to ‘this marriage is an act’?” Luhan didn’t feel like arguing with Sehun today, but he wanted to know why the other was so different. Was this an act? He wanted the truth.

“I had a talk with my parents and they told me that I could stay with Jongin secretly if I was nice to you. Are you happy?” Sehun snapped. “Just don’t tell your mom or brother...” he added.

Luhan smirked. “You’re very nice,” he said sarcastically He leaned back on the chair and put a hand on his forehead, a grimace on his face.

Sehun looked at him, confused. He was a bit worried, knowing that Luhan was the one who had constant headaches. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Luhan replied, his voice near a whisper. He let out a sigh and stood up, staggering a bit. Sehun watched him with a keen eye, ready to catch Luhan if he were to fall. He didn’t really care much about Luhan anymore, but he was going to get married to the other, so he had to make sure Luhan was okay.

“What do you need? I’ll get it for you,” Sehun muttered.

“I’ll get it myself; you don’t have to waste your energy.” He walked to the bathroom and Sehun heard him rummaging around.

“Are you okay in there?” Sehun asked. There was no reply, but he could still hear Luhan moving around. “Hey!” Luhan came out from the bathroom with a bottle of pills and he went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  He came back a few minutes later, looking better than before. “You’re okay right?”

“I’m fine.” Luhan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Sehun-sshi, I think you know me enough. I’m feeling a bit tired, but you’re welcome to stay. I’ll be in my room.” Luhan gave him a weak smile and then disappeared.

Sehun watched the door close and then back at the table where the water bottle was. The small apartment was different. It was messier, emptier, and there were boxes in the corner. Sehun frowned and stood up to check what was in the boxes. He opened one of them to find it filled with books. He picked one up and recognized it as one of Luhan’s favorites. “Is he moving or something?” he mumbled to himself. Sehun opened another one and his eyes widened when he saw what was in it.

He picked up the portrait gingerly and stared at it. It was a drawing that Sehun had bought at an amusement park of him and Luhan. He remembered when he broke up with the other, he had ripped the portrait into pieces and stormed out of the apartment. Sehun thought the portrait was gone for good, but here it was, taped together.

Sehun wanted to knock on Luhan’s door and demand why this was in his possession, when he remembered that Luhan wasn’t feeling well. Instead, he sighed and put the portrait away. He took a good look at his surroundings once more before looking for a pen and paper to write Luhan a note.

Hope you feel better.

Sehun

~OoO~

My parents invited you to dinner. Do you want to come?

Luhan sighed and touched his forehead lightly. He didn’t feel the annoying pulsing anymore and he seemed to be less warm.

That’s fine. I’ll be over soon.

Sehun’s reply came almost right away.

Can you even drive like that? I’ll pick you up.

Luhan cracked a small smile and set his phone down on the table. He went to his closet to pick out nice clothes for the dinner. He didn’t have much to choose from, even though his family was loaded with money. Luhan preferred to earn his own rather than use what his brother and mother made, so he had considerably less than his Yifan, Zitao, and his mother.

Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang. Luhan checked the camera and found Sehun standing there with another man, who reminded him a lot of Minseok’s husband, Jongdae. Jongin probably... Luhan swallowed the lump in his throat and put on a fake smile. He opened the door. “Hey.”

Lu Han was very good at pretending he was okay when it came to love.

The car ride was silent. Luhan sat in the back, staring out the window while Jongin sat in the front with Sehun, their fingers intertwined. Luhan found it offensive in a way, but he really couldn’t hate Sehun and Jongin much. He did ruin their relationship after all. When the house came into view, Luhan blinked at the sight. Luhan had never been to Sehun’s house before. When the two were still together, Luhan went to Sehun’s apartment, but never the house he lived in with his parents.

Sehun parked the car and left it, Jongin following him. Luhan sat in the car, stunned. A few hours ago, Sehun was completely different. He wasn’t nice, but he was concerned, and that was enough for Luhan. Now, however, Sehun had turned back to being the Artic like he was the day before.

“Note to self, never have dinner with Sehun again,” Luhan muttered as he opened the car door for himself and ran after Sehun.

Dinner was awkward. Sehun and Jongin were sitting across from him, Mr. Oh at the head of the table, and Mrs. Oh next to him. He picked at the rice and put some in his mouth. Everything in his mouth tasted so dry, and it wasn’t because of the food. Luhan just really didn’t feel like eating. He put his chopsticks down lightly and took the glass of water placed in front of him.

“Luhan, are you enjoying the dinner?” Mrs. Oh asked.

Luhan nodded. “Yes, thank you for inviting me.” He picked up his chopsticks again and picked up a piece of meat. Under the table, he felt someone kick his leg lightly. Luhan glanced up and found Sehun staring at him. He raised his eyebrows at Sehun, asking an unspoken question and hoping that Sehun would understand. He did and nodded towards the door. Luhan nodded.

“Abuji, Omoni, may Luhan and I be excused? We have something to talk about,” Sehun said. He glanced at Jongin, who was staring at him pleadingly. Luhan saw Sehun squeeze Jongin’s hand reassuringly and he sighed.

“Sure.”

Luhan bowed his head and followed Sehun out of the dining room.

“Hey are you okay? You look a little green...” Sehun placed a hand on Luhan’s forehead, and Luhan felt himself heat up.

“I-I’m fine,” he stuttered.

“Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to take you home?”

“I’m fine,” Luhan repeated.

“Do you feel awkward? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Lies. They were all lies. He was not fine, he did not feel comfortable, and he was not okay. Luhan gave Sehun a weak smile. “Really.” Then a wave of nausea washed over him and he collapsed into Sehun’s arms.