Chapter 20

Inspirations

 

When Hana opended her eyes at the morning she realized she's holding someone's hand. She smiled seeing it was Jonghun and though he must have been worried about her so he came here at night. Now he was sleeping – sitting on the floor with his head on her bed. He must have been uncofortable but she decided not to wake him up. Instead of it, she covered him with a blanket and moved his fringe from his eyes. Looking at him she thought he is so calm while sleeping and looking just like a statue, so beautiful that almost unbelievable. As she kept staring at him her heart started to beat faster and when she realized it she hitted her own head with scolding herself in mind: „Hana, what are you thinking about!?”.

But looking at him woken up different feelings too – she felt artistically inspred so she stood up, took paper and pencils from the table and sitted beside him on the floor so she was able to see his face well. While drwaing his portrait she thought of all those things he has don for her so far. She didn't know what was his reason, yet she known she will never repay this dept to him. There was also another thing thet kept bothering her – this little „sparkles” on her skin she felt after he touches her... Something competely new and unknown... This feeling was weird and she didn't knew how long will it take to get used to it...

Along with thinking her hands kept drwaing and at suddent moment she realized the portrait is finished. She smiled seeing she managed to catch his features perfectly. Jonghun from the picture was actually identical as the real one – she managed to do the it like she never done with Jake, even though she loved him...

She putted drawing on the bed, near Jonghun's head and went to change her clothes.

 

Jonghun woken up with his muscles stiffed becouse of the weird position. First think he realised it was the blanked covering him. After that he saw Hana is no longer on the bed, when he looked around he saw some card lying on the bed. Looking closely he relised it's a drawing. His portrait actually. Very good portrait. On the there was written:

„I don't have any idea how to thank you, so please accept this small gift. I don't know why are you do all of this, but thank you for everything. Hana”.

She was nowhere around and seeing it's already late he decided to go until someone would see him. He took picture with him with though he would talk with her later...

„Why I'm doing all this stuff for her? And who is she for me?” - he still had to make up his mind too.

 

First thing Hana did after changing was a call to hospital to find out how her father feels like. After hearing he is fine, he just shouldn't get so nervous, a stone fallen from her heart. Now she decided to deal with a band.

As she expected they all were already in living room, so she joined them. As Hongki saw her he tood up. Beside him Jonghun was sitting, obviously he looked like he haven;t got enought sllep and was kinda deep in his thoughts.

-Are you alright?- asked Hongki.

-That's not the point now – she said and looked carefully at faces if everyone carefully – Can you tell me who's crazy idea was it to say my dad you want me in a band?

-Well... - said Jaejin and looked at his band mates.

-It wqas decision of all of us – finished Hongki – For the sake of the band.

-Yeah, you were the best among all of them – said Seunghyun.

-And we really enjoyed playing with you so...- continued Minhwan.

-We thought you will suit us – said Jonghun finally looking at her.

-Aish... - she sighed – I've tell you my dad will never agree to this and now you know why...

-Can I tell something – asked Jiao.

-Go ahed – said Hongki.

-I think nothing is impossible. And your dad really loves you so he wants you to be happy...

-Who agrees with Jiao? - asked Seunghyun raising his hand and all the rest beside Hana did the same.

-Will you never give up? - asked Hana.

-But honestly don't you want this too? - asked Jonghun.

-... it would be awesome to play with you but still I don't want my father to be like this... Sorry I gotta go and visit him in hospital... - she went out and all the boys looked at each other.

-What shall we do now? - asked Jaejin.

-Well I've found something- said Seunghyun showing them sheet with hords and lyrics – Seems like it belongs to Hana.

Jaejin took a short look at the lyrics and said:

-Her father should listen to it....

The rest agreed with him.

-But how to force Hana to play in front of him? - asked Jiao.

-We don't have to force her. We'll just put video camera in practise room... The song is unfinished so... - said Seunghyun.

-She will play it – Hongki thought – Sneaky but still...

 

Just as they expected after coming back kinda down, since her father must have scolded her, he went right to the practise room and they all gathered in Hongik's room around a computer. She was already on the screen, sitting in front on the piano...

 

Hana thought about her talk with dad. Again he said he don't want her to be hurt and it will be the best for her to keep living as she do.

-This dream is not mine... I have another, yet it is different from your plans... Will you ever let me to be myself?Or shall I be a perfect daughter who only does things you want me to? - she though and started to play a song. A song for her dad, the one he will never hear.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWsEJ510fzg ( she is playing a piano version)

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it.. 

 

Tears started to flow on her face but she continued to sing:

 

I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

 

When she finished the song she putted her head on the piano and didn't stopped her tears anymore.

Seeing this both Jonghun and Hongki wanted to run to her side but Jaejin stopped them:

-Now we have to see Kai as soon as possible.

 

Kai seemed suprised seeing them all visiting him. When Jaejin putted a lappy in front of him he was even more suprised.

-We want you to wtach something but pelase don't get mad, okay? - asked Hongki.

-I don't know what is that but okay...

As the movie started and Kai realised it's Hana sitting in front of the piano he wanted to tell them to turn it off but Jonghun said:

-You should listen to it, it's the song she written for you – said Jonghun.

Kai was helpless so he took a deep breath and started to listen:

„Hey dad look at me...” Hana started to sing and he realised her voice is differet than Rose had. More powerful and „fluffy”. As he listened to the song lyrics tears started to fall from his eyes. His only child was in pain becose of him.. Who was he to take the thing she loved most from her right after she lost her beloved mother? All this time he was selflishly thinking only about his own pain, not seeing hers.

When the song ended Kia looked at them and said:

-Thank you for helping me realize something... Now I have to think it all over, but can you take Hana and come her tommorow.

They agreed and left him alone with his thoughts.

 

When they came back home they all went to their own things – Jaejin runned to watch his drama, maknaes and Jiao offered to prepare dinner and Hongki dissapeared somewhere. Jonghun decided to look for Hana.

 

Hana was sitting on the balcony with soft evening breeze making her hair flowing. She heard footsteps and turned back.

-Oh, it's you – she said when the boy sitted by her side.

-How are you feel – he asked.

-It can have been better... - she sighted – But I keep holding on.

-I can cheer you with a song – he said.

-It'll be great – she smiled to him.

-Ok, I will sing but first you have to call me „oppa”.

-Hey, it's unfair – she said – Ok, I'll try o..oppa.

-Not cute, but this can do for now – he said and took a breath before singing.

 

Jonghun went to the balcony and his heart skipped a bit when he saw Hana. But then he realized she is not alone. Hongki was sitting by her side and singing „Wery good words” and she was smiling brightly. Suddently his heart started to ache from jelaousy and he realised it's the answer he was looking for... The feeling he had for her was...

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Comments

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blauen #1
Chapter 29: You make such a beautiful story. Hope you are going to continue it.
dimplesyororo #2
eva..kkkk.sorry Ive just comment..LOL..I read all of chapter..kkkk 1-29 :A: Im GREAT..lol
okay as im said before...the interesting part is the member's love problem.. hurhur..I wanna you solve jae's and minari's too~~
I really like SH and jiao couple..kkkk..but I wanna SH go wild to jiao..^^ this my request. read all of this..I really feeling Jonghun's feel toward hana..but can u show more how Hongki's feeling too?
sillyhappyperson
#3
28 chapters! i'm only on chap 13 -.- it's nice so far eva ^.^ hehe it's fun reading about seunghyun and jiao right now, i'll comment more later...when i finish reading more