Chapter 61

The dream was quickly shattered though as Kris pushed Mark away.

"Whoa! What the hell was that?!"

Mark's face fell.
This was it.
It was time to tell the truth.

"It was never Kim I was in love with."
"Then why did you sleep with her?"
Mark took a deep breath.

"Because she was the closest I could get to being with... with you."

A deep silence spread throughout the playground as the two boys stared at each other.

"Me? Why on earth would you want that?"
"I may have had a crush on you for the past 8 or 9.. 9 years?"
"No way!"
"Yes... Way."

Mark bit his lip. This wasn't going so well.
"So for all this time. You've been wanting to fumble my junk?"

...Maybe he should just come out and say it was a joke because now it was just painful.

"Not like... Just shoot me down quickly, please?"

The blond man ran a hand through his hair.

"Mark. I'm sorry but... Do you think it's possible only to be ...  'gay' for one guy?"
"I believe that big time."

Mark sighed while putting his swing in motion.

"It's that guy in your living-room. Isn't it?"

Kris copied his moves right down to the dragged out sigh.

"It is. But he isn't... It ."
"Kris. A good part of my life lead me up to this moment, where I finally have the balls to confess to the person I love when I could've done it a long time ago. Maybe even saved our friendship. You should tell him. Or else you'll just end up regretting every decision you'll ever make... Like I have. Ever since the first time my heart skipped a beat looking at you..."
 "I don't know, man. Kyungsoo and I are finally getting along incredibly. I don't want anything messing that up."
"You're leaving. Next year. To the other side of the planet. Take a chance, Kris. Besides, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he likes you too."

Kris stopped his swing, looking incredulous.

"What?! Get outta here."
"No I'm serious. The way he looked at you... and then how he looked at me like I was going to corrupt you or something."
"You're wrong. He's just looking out for me and being a good friend."
"Or maybe you're just too chicken to admit that he just might like you back."
"Why would that scare me?"
"Because you and Kim were exactly that. Good friends but a bad couple. You're afraid that you'll make the same mistake again."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are. And the funny part is that your head is so far up in the clouds that you were willing to stick by someone you weren't even in love with."
"What's that supposed to mean?! I was head over heels in love with Kim! I changed pretty much everything about myself for her and she broke my heart, end of story."
"You shouldn't have to change for the one you love. If they don't love you for who you are then screw them. They're not worth your time. So get off of your cloud Kris and join the real world. "
"...Where was all this 5 years ago? Weren't you the one who said I should change?"
"I was wrong."

Mark stood up. He had already screwed up Kris's life more than enough. His friend deserved... love. If this was Kris's chance to get it, Mark was ready to finally let go of his best friend and move on. Even if it stung like a .
"I'm going to get my bag and check into a hotel. Tomorrow I'll try and get on the next plane out of here. And Kris. If you don't go for it, the next time I see you? I won't just fumble your junk. I'll destroy it."

-
Kris was laying on his bed. It had been almost an hour since Mark had picked up his stuff and left to who knows where.
So apparently his best friend had harbored a crush on him forever and according to him, Kris had never really loved Kim.
What a joke.
Kris had fallen for her the moment they had met. For all Kris knew it had been love at first sight. Movie love even.

... Although thinking about it... He didn't really miss her per se. It was something else he missed. That feeling...
Someone...
Kris checked his watch. It was 02.30 AM which meant it would be around 3.30 PM back in Canada. He slowly got up before sitting down at his desk, turning on his laptop. Entering Skype, he found his ex-girlfriends portrait and clicked it.
Hesitating for a while, Kris manned himself up and pressed send.

"I'll get it."
Kim ran to get the door, revealing her fiancé, her fiancé's sister and her soon to be parent's in law. Her own parents were still not quite used to be celebrating Christmas, even though they had been in Canada for 5 years.
"Hi! I'm so glad you're all here. Hi Sweetie." Kim gave her fiancé a quick peck on the lips before letting everyone in.
She was in love to over both ears. Her fiancé was down to earth, smart, easy-going and very well-spoken. He wasn't that tall, maybe 10 centimeters taller than herself but she loved that. They could be cute and tiny together.
Her parents hadn't been thrilled about him at first, seeing as he wasn't Asian but could they really blame her? They lived in Canada for crying out loud.
Her mother still brought the subject of Kris up from time to time. It would appear her ex-boyfriend still had a special place in her mother's old ticker. It was so annoying.
'How is he?' she wondered.

"Honey? I'll be right back."
Kim went upstairs to her old bedroom. Opening her closet she took out the Christmas presents she had stashed away a few days ago. While counting the gifts her computer dinged.
Curiosity got the better of her so she sat down at her desk to see who had written.
Seeing that name blink in orange, something it hadn't done in over a year made her heart skip a beat.

'Hi...I hear you're getting married? Congratulations.
//Kris'  

Kim's heart stopped for a second as old feelings reemerged and surged throughout her body. 

Kris waited with anticipation for almost 15 minutes before a response came.

'Thank you. How are you doing?'

That was a good question.

'I'm good. Yeah, I'm in Seoul as you might've heard.'

'I heard (: So how is it?'

'Oh it's amazing. I've made a lot of new friends and I even went to the 1st shop of Coffee Prince.'

'Kyaa! I'm so jealous :o I wanna go there >< '

'You could come here on your honeymoon? :b'

Why was it so easy talking to Kris? Even after what she had done to the guy he was still... Still taking up space in her heart.

'We're going to Niagara Falls (: ... Kris? You're not writing me to wish me good luck with my marriage. So why?'

'I have to ask you something...'

Oh no.

 
'Did you ever have feelings for me or was it all me making it up in my head? I'm just curious...'

5 minutes suddenly felt like hours on end, Kris thought as he awaited Kim's reply.

'High school is hell on earth. You hang out with the wrong person and you become a laughing stock. If you hadn't noticed, my life wasn't exactly easy. Moving to another country, not speaking the language, looking different... I was bullied every day and you never even noticed it. I got tired of it, so I became one of 'them'. But I really did love you. More than you know. I just couldn't take any more of their hazing. And you. You were so stupid to follow me.'  

'I had to. I wanted to be with you. I was in love with you.'

'No you weren't. You were in love with the idea of love, not me. I hated that. I suppose you could say I was... Jealous at love.'

'Well then, if you loved me so much, why did you sleep with Mark?'

"I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel what I felt every day. I wanted you to break up with me because I couldn't do it. And you certainly didn't hesitate in ending things.'

'Why would I waste my time on a cheater?'

'Yes. Why would you. I guess a part of me hoped you would fight for me, for us.
I'm sorry, Kris. About everything. But I just couldn't live up to your ridiculous standards for love. No one falls in love at first sight. In real life that just doesn't happen. Times and times again you would always look at me with this... This certain look, like you were wondering why I didn't sparkle or the like.'

'I did not.'

'You did.'

He did.
During their first anniversary, Kris had been all kinds of excited. He had rented a tux, a two-horse carriage, bought 12 long stemmed red roses and sparkling cider.
He had planned everything down to the last detail.
First he would pick her up by her house in the late evening. He would jump down from the carriage, take her hand, bestow it with a soft kiss and help her enter the wagon.
He would then put a warm and fussy blanket around her, to keep her comfortable before handing her the red roses and a glass of cider.
They would ride to VanDusen Botanical Garden and enjoy the beautiful 'Festival of Lights'. In there he would give her the earrings he had bought two months prior. Heart-shaped silver studs with green emeralds. Kim's favorite color. She would cry, thanking him with all her heart. He would cry as well before leaning in to kiss his beloved and then fireworks!... Okay no fireworks. 
Yes everything had been planned out thoroughly.
Unfortunately when he showed up at her door, in a white tuxedo and with a carriage that cost him a loooot of money, Kim apparently had other plans.
"I'm scared of horses."
Why hadn't Kris known that little fact?
"It's okay. They're not dangerous or anything. And it's not like you'll be sitting on them but in you know, a carriage."    
"I'm not getting on that."
"But... the plan? We have to go somewhere."
"Can't we just drive?"
"But... Romance?"

In the end Kris's mom had driven them to the park. Not very romantic. And sort of pathetic.

"I'm cold. My feet hurt. I'm thirsty."
Kris tried his very best to keep from boiling over.
What should have been a very special and meaningful moment in his life was now  ruined.
"Had we taken the carriage, we would've had blankets, somewhere to sit and sparkling cider. But this is much better. Happy anniversary."
Oh right the gift. Kris put his hand in his jacket pocket but found only dust bunnies, a piece of gum, uh and a quarter!
They sat down on a bench.
He couldn't let this little setback get the better of him. No this was still special. Yeah.
He turned his gaze away from the many lights to look at his girlfriend.
Aaaaaand nothing.
Her eyes were lit up by the colorful lights. Her hair shone with the reflection of blue, green and red. But nothing. Not even a little bit.
Puzzled, Kris leaned in and kissed her.
It was nice.
Although something was missing. Something vital. But what?

Kris had never figured out. Not until now.

"I'm sorry. I never realized..."
"It's okay Kris. It's in the past. Was that all you wanted to know?"
"Yeah... No. This is probably very inappropriate of me to tell you but I could really use some advice."
"Let's hear it."
"I think I might be in love with... a person."
Kris really wasn't ready to reveal that said person was a guy, to his ex-girlfriend. Boy would that give her issues. At least that was what he assumed.
"It's just after everything I've been told tonight... I'm scared to lose... that person. Because we're friends. Like really good friends and I don't want to ruin that. But I just know that I want more. I need for us to be more..."
 'You're such a romantic (: But how are you going to distinguish between being in love with someone and being in love with the feeling of being in love? If you want my advice. Take things slow. Don't rush into anything just because you think you're in love with her. Take off those rose-colored glasses of yours and actually see the person in front of you. Who they are. What they mean to you. I'm sorry but I have to go now. Merry Christmas Kris (: I hope you'll work things out.'

Kim turned off her computer.
She felt sad but also kind of relived. Kris had met someone new.
She smiled to herself.
Kris was the most amazing person she had ever met. Even her fiancé came after him. Sadly, Kris just hadn't been meant for her. 

-

 
"Go to bed Kyungsoo."
It was almost 3 in the morning. Kyungsoo was stubbornly sitting on the couch with a few... 5 empty cans of Red Bull and a fresh one in his hand. He was nearing his limit but he didn't care. He was certain that Kris would come. Sure it had already been what... Like 7 hours but better late than never right?
Kyungsoo let out a sigh, trying to keep his heavy eyes open. He was pumped on energy drink yet his whole body was shutting down.

"He'll be here."
"It's 3 in the morning. I think it's pretty clear that he isn't."
"Yeah well, you don't know Kris like I do."
His mother took a seat next to him.
"Your friend's world doesn't entirely evolve around you, you know.
"I'm not saying it is."
"Yes you are."

Maybe that was true. He had been relying on Kris quite a lot lately if not ever since they met. Perhaps that's why it stung so much that all of a sudden, Kris chose this Mark person over Kyungsoo. This awful, stupid... cockroach who hurt Kris and, and...
Couldn't Kris just hurry up and get here?
After Kris had left his mother's house, Kyungsoo hadn't really known what to think or do. All he did know was that Kris and him was meant to spend Christmas together which by the way was something Kris himself had bugged him for. Also, Kyungsoo had never seen Kris so distraught. The look on his face had been so pained and... confused? And Kyungsoo had wanted to know why that was or if he could be of help in any way. He really did owe him so much, Kyungsoo just hadn't a clue of how to repay him.

And that's how Kyungsoo had found himself running through the cold December evening towards the metro and back to their shared apartment. Entering the place, he had called out Kris's name but no one had responded. Kyungsoo had taken off his coat and sat down on the couch patiently waiting.
One hour passed before the sound of keys jiggling and a door being opened could be heard. But instead of one voice, Kyungsoo could hear two.

"Kyungsoo?"

He came face to face with a surprised looking Kris when another man came into view.

"What's a Kyungsoo?"

A guy almost as tall as Kris entered their living-room. His hair was hazel-brown and his eyes were blue.
A slight tinge of jealousy started bubbling in his chest along with a small hint of anger. Kris was skipping out on him for this guy?!

"Hi. You must be Mark."

The Neanderthal stared at him like he was a lava lamp.

"How did you know?"
"Lucky guess. So you're the so-called best friend who ed Kris's girlfriend at the time. Nice meeting you."
"Kyungsoo! Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Kris had taken him aside, much against his will.
"I can't believe you're blowing me off for that guy. Seriously Kris? What is he doing here?"
"He wanted to surprise me or whatever but you gotta believe me, I didn't ask for him to come."
"Is he... He must have a serious crush on you to travel all the way here Christmas eve just to 'surprise' you."
"Mark? No way. He is like the biggest manwhore Canada has to offer."
"Somehow that doesn't soothe me."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I'm sorry but what was I supposed to do? He came all this way to see me and I should just leave him on his own? I can't do that. He may have been a ... He's still my best friend, Kyungsoo."

'I'm not your best friend?'       

"Whatever."

Kyungsoo turned towards the door but not before turning to look at Kris one last time.

"You don't owe him anything. Not after what he did. I'm gonna go back to my mom's. I hope to see you there."

The trip back to his childhood home had been excruciatingly long.
Of course he couldn't demand that Kris stop seeing his so-called best friend and of course it was obvious that Kyungsoo wasn't Kris's best friend. Come on, they had only known each other since late August.
Even so... After everything that douchebag had done to Kris, he still dared showing up in Seoul? And why?
No one did that.
No one.

Unless...

Kyungsoo chose not to go there. Certainly that Mark person wasn't here to, oh I don't know, throw himself at Kris?
He rapidly shook his head. That was a picture which was more than unwelcome in his head. Yikes.

When Kyungsoo had finally returned home, his mother had asked and asked about where Kris had gone.

"So he's not coming back?"
"He is."
"But he is with this Mark?"
"He'll come."
"... You sure you don't have a crush on your friend?"
"Mom!"
"I'm just asking! You're being kinda obvious honey."
"Well... I don't. So bugger off you nagging woman."
"Oh honey. Of all people, you should know to stay on my good side. Goodnight, Kyungie-pooh."
"I hate you."
"Love you too. And FYI, if Kris really does come back, the mistletoe is in the kitchen. Nighty night."
"I don't care!"

-
'How are you going to distinguish between being in love with someone and being in love with the feeling of being in love?'
 

So maybe Kris had only known Kyungsoo for... 4 months-ish but did it really matter? He had never, not even with Kim, felt so strongly about another person. Of that Kris was sure.
Yet her words made him doubt his own feelings.
Was it really love or Kyungsoo, Kris was falling for?
After breaking up with Kim all Kris had wanted to do was to fall in love again. He had even written it on his list.
Was he simply forcing himself into loving the first person to show interest in him out of desperation?

And then there was Mark.
He wanted for Kris to go for it. And according to him, Kyungsoo liked Kris.
'Yeah right. He's crazy.'
But then again.
If Kris didn't do it then... then Mark would destroy his little guy...
Kris looked at his watch. 04.45 AM.
'It's Christmas.'
"IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

Kris bolted up from his bed.
He had grumbled to Kyungsoo about spending Christmas together so what the hell was he doing in an empty apartment? Alone?
Who cared about feelings of love and butterflies when he should be with Kyungsoo as his friend right now? He couldn't let him down now all of a sudden.
Kris guessed he could put his 'feelings' on hold for one more day as he ran out on the street, flagging down a cab.
Throwing money at the driver, Kris demanded to be taken to his best friend as fast as possible. It was a matter of life and death!
After establishing where the heck the friend lived, the driver took off, getting Kris there in record time.
Discovering that the door was unlocked, he silently entered the house. The house was quiet, not too surprising seeing as it was nearing 5 in the morning.
Kris took off his shoes and coat when he noticed a figure on the couch.
Walking closer, Kris recognized the sleeping head of dark-brown curls. He couldn't help but smile. Just like his heart couldn't help beating louder in his chest.
But it made him wonder.
Was he in love with the beautiful sleeping man in front of him or was he simply in love with love?
Kris took a seat on the couch when Kyungsoo started stirring. Sleepily the boy opened his eyes, smiling so bright it blinded Kris.

"Finally."
"I'm really sorry."
"Doesn't matter. You're here now."
"I am."

They shared a moment, looking each other in the eye.

"Mistletoe..." Kyungsoo whispered.

The small man pointed upwards but there was nothing there when Kris looked up.

"I don't see any..."

When Kris directed his attention back towards Kyungsoo, the man held up a hand, caressing his cheek.

"Imagine one."

With that the man pulled Kris down, never losing eye-contact. His expression was serious but on the same time ever so gentle.
Kris's heart stopped beating when their lips met in a tender kiss.
Lips softly pressed together, nothing more...

And Kris's heart was on fire.

A/N
Oh got my first review! xD I'm so thankful to Natsu/Tsuki/bee/Dongsaeng :p
I wasn't sure whether I should post a chapter with everything going on right now but here it is...
It's quite a bit longer than the previous ones, sorry about that but there was so much I needed to squeeze in ><
I'm quite exciteed about next chapter because it will start the finishing storyline of Krisoo (Or almost at least :b)

It will be fluffy, frustrating and something else :p