Chapter 24

Things weren't going great.

Having given up on her dream, Krystal dropped out of college. She would spent her day sitting on their couch, staring into space. She didn't eat probably anymore, only eating an apple now and then. Kyungsoo was worried. He told her he would quit his job so they could spend more time together but Krystal had just stood up and made her way to their bedroom, closing the door.

Kyungsoo was balancing school, a part time job, buying groceries, keeping the apartment clean, cooking and everything else. He was exhausted. But he didn't care. Krystal came first.

"How do you do it?" Minseok had asked him at work. "Aren't you tired?" 

Yes he was. But he had spent five years with Krystal. And he was not going to let five years be wasted for nothing. Krystal was going to get better and they would be happy again. Wouldn't they?

His friends worried about him. Baekhyun had volunteered (forced Kyungsoo into taking) his help, coming by twice a week after school to help with anything he could. Whether it be laundry, vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom Baekhyun was happy to help.

Krystal's parents came by when they could, but Krystal would always refuse to see them. It got so bad they forced her into seeing a psychiatrist.

Hours of therapy seemed to do their work. Krystal started eating again. She smiled again. She went outside again. She was slowly changing back to herself again, or so Kyungsoo thought. Because the only thing that didn't change back was the way she looked at him. She might be smiling at him, but her eyes, there was just no life. Before her eyes would light up when she saw him, now they just seemed empty.

Kyungsoo tried his best to keep their relationship going but it got more and more difficult to tell his friends that he was fine. He thought that maybe if they took a vacation, a break from Seoul, just maybe, it would help.

Kyungsoo had saved up enough money for the both of them to go to her home country. Perhaps seeing Canada again would help.
That's why Kyungsoo took out most of his savings and bought two tickets for Vancouver, Canada.

At the start of summer vacation, Kyungsoo had somehow managed to ace all his exams with flying colors. He had then presented her with the tickets, saying it was an advanced birthday gift. Krystal had hugged him and had actually seemed excited at the prospect of seeing the place she grew up in again. And Kyungsoo thought they would be alright.

 
The last week of August they had boarded the plane and after 18 hours of doing nothing they finally landed in Vancouver International Airport.

Both, tired from the long plane ride, opted to find their hotel and nap before exploring her old home.
She took him everywhere. She couldn't remember everything from her childhood but what she did remember, she was eager for him to see. She would eagerly pull his hand from place to place telling him small anecdotes from her past. At night they would even make love in their hotel room. No tears and no worries. Kyungsoo finally felt what he used to. In love.

Three days in and his world came crashing down. 

Kyungsoo was in the shower while Krystal was lying on their bed, sighing contentedly. She smiled to herself as the fresh memory of their bodies intertwined, moving with each other. She giggled, considering the pros and cons of joining him in the shower. Kyungsoo said he had made dinner reservations so there probably weren't time for a round two. Probably? She decided it would be worth risking it, jumping off the bed but before she reached the bathroom, Kyungsoo's phone dinged. Krystal wasn't one to snoop but their friends and family all new that they were abroad so it must have been important. Krystal picked up his phone. It was a message from Chanyeol. Looking to the bathroom she pressed 'read'. Her breath hitched. Her heart dropped to her stomach. Her whole body was trembling with anger, jealousy. But why? She should be happy for him. She put his phone down, opened the mini bar and gulped down the first thing her hand touched.

A slightly influenced Krystal and an oblivious Kyungsoo entered restaurant 'Araxi'. The beautiful restaurant was dimly lit, illuminating the dark, mahogany furniture. Drunk Krystal had clutched his arms while slurred out how she had the bestestest...test boyfriend eveeeeeer. As they took their seats Krystal started out by ordering a stiff one. Kyungsoo rarely ever drank alcohol but decided to order red wine for his steak.

"And what would the lady like to order?" the waiter had politely asked.

"Can I. Get. A bottle of scotch? Mama here, is drinking her dinner tonight!"  Krystal had then closed her menu and told the waiter to go fetch. Kyungsoo hurriedly apologized to the offended waiter.

"Are you drunk?" Kyungsoo frowned reaching for her hand.

"Not drunk enough." Krystal harshly pulled her hand away from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo was confused. Things had been good not an hour ago and now she was rejecting him.

"Aren't you going to share the good news?"

"What news?" he tried his best to think of anything new happening in his life that she wouldn't know about.

"Oh don't act like you don't know. I know you've been chosen to play at the school's 100th anniversary concert. You get to play in front of a big crowd cheering you name. You get to live my dream! My Dream!" Krystal roughly pushed out her chair. She stood up, unable to keep herself from crying she ran out of the restaurant.           

Kyungsoo were quick to run after her, bowing to the confused waiter with an apologetic smile. When he exited the restaurant she had stopped running and was now briskly walking along the pavement. He caught up to her in no time.

"Look I really didn't know. I never even wanted to do it. If you want me to decline the offer I'll do it."
"No." she promptly stopped walking. "No. You should do it. You deserve it." She sighed. "I'm sorry. I just... It just..."
"I know it hurts. But you can't keep focusing on what you lost. You just gotta find a new dream." Kyungsoo put his hand on her shoulder, looking her in the eye.

Krystal expression went from sorry to  furious. Letting his words sink in the anger slowly started to build from the bottom of her stomach.

"Just like that? Find a new dream?" She smacked his hand away.

"Don't you ing tell me to find a new dream!" she yelled at him in the open street, not giving a damn about  the people watching them.

"I just hate seeing you like this..."

"Like what?! Miserable? Pathetic? A big, giant loser?" Kyungsoo winced at her voice.

"No. Just. You're hurt."

"Of course I'm ing hurt! My dream was reduced to nothing but a dream. It will never become a reality."

"I know!" Kyungsoo was also getting mad. It wasn't his fault she was feeling this way.

"I know. And it . But there is nothing to do about it. You just can't let the pain hold you back from actually living." 

"Oh. Like you? Hiding away any form of emotion? Afraid to let anyone even remotely close to you because your father abandoned you when you were a kid? Grow up Kyungsoo, and take you own damn advice."
Kyungsoo didn't know how to respond to that. She was right. He had stored away his feelings but ultimately only let it hold him back from living. 

"I can't do this anymore." Krystal's voice were barely even a whisper but the words rang loud and clear in Kyungsoo's heart.

"I can't keep pretending that we are fine or that it will somehow work out in the end, because we both know it won't."

"But. I love you." Kyungsoo's gaze was set at the ground. His eyes stung but the pain emitting from his chest drowned out everything else.

"I don't love you. Not anymore." Krystal held back a sob, surrendering herself to the inevitable.

"Goodbye Kyungsoo."

Krystal her heel, walking away.

"You said you wouldn't leave me!"

Krystal stopped in her track turning around, shrugging her shoulders.

"I lied." The lie came out easier than she had thought. Once again she turned to leave only this time she was running, not planning to ever stop again.

Kyungsoo was left on the sidewalk, in the darkness. Heartbroken, lost in more ways than one,  clutching a small silver ring in his hand. 

She didn't love him?

He should've known her well enough to know it was a lie, but all it had taken was that little trace of doubt, to make his world come crashing down. Making him doubt any feeling he ever thought he'd ever felt.