~Previously on "Holding Onto Her"

Siwon manage to save the little boy who was on the road and was about to be hit by a moving vehicle that was in full speed. He was brought to the hospital as he was being hit by the side view mirror of the car on his sides. He lost consciousness after checking the little boy of the age of 2 was alright and unharm. He was brought to the hospital by the little boy's mother. When he regained his consciousness, he was being checked up by a doctor named Tiffany. After which, he started to talk to the little boy. He found out that the boy he had saved from the accident named Lee Yungeon. And out of nowhere he too found out that the child that he started to get fond of is a child of Sooyoung, the woman that had brought so much pain emotionally, mentally and physically to him when she came into the hospital room after an enquiry from Dr Hwang who prefered to be called Tiffany instead. 

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Sooyoung sat down on the sit that was previously sat by Yungeon. She asked her son to play with his toy cars at the sofa near the windows of the hospital room that I was in. I sat on the bed not knowing what to say and do. I looked at those dark orbs as she was trying to regain her composure once again. I could see the gladness in her eyes and the guilt too that was slowly coming in. "Thank you for saving Yungeon-nie, Oppa. If you weren't around at that point of time, I don't know what would have happened to him."

I just nodded and say, "You're welcome." with a pokerface.

Then, the silence that was iluminating the surroundings started to kick in again after i acknowledge her 'thank you's. To be honest, i didn't know that silence could be this loud. It was too quiet and too awkward to begin with. I, then, looked away from her to look at Yungeon and then, a smile crept in. I don't know why but i suddenly have the urge to blurt out the question that i was holding onto for the longest time possible. 

"When?" 

"Huh? What do you mean?" 

"When did you got married with Daniel?" I shifted my attention back to her and i saw her puzzled look. 

"A few months after we broke up."

"Oh.. Are you now happy? And congratulations by the way." I offered my hand to her as a sign of congratulating her for her happiness in her life. She accept it was a smile on her face. "Yes. I'm the happiest that I've ever been..." I meant those words that i said even though knowing that she is happy even though he decision had caused me to live in the darkness of love.

"O-oppa, I am sorry for I've done to you."

"Hey, its okay." No, its not okay. How can i be okay when i've not come to terms with my heart. I am still healing from the scars that you left behind and not even caring if i was okay or not.

"If you don't mind, is it too late for me to mend the relationship that i had with you? I mean, can we put the past behind us and be friends?"

How can that be okay? How can you expect me to not mind? I was the one in pain. You were with him having your happily ever after and started a family with him. But seeing Yungeon who was sitting on the couch and plaing his toy cars at the hand rest, i felt that i need to move on from this hurting love story of Sooyoung and me. What type of person am i if i let my ego and myself first without thinking of other people? What type of a person will i become if i don't let of someone who is already married and have her child live in an assuring peace after the guilt that she had been haunted with ever since the break up? Maybe the thought of me had never cross her mind but i am sure she was feeling guilty when my name pops out during a conversation with her friends. Yungeon is still a kid and he deserved to have a happy family together with his mum and dad. How i wished he is my own and not Daniel but i guess, this is as far as this anger, suffering and pain can go. Maybe it will be easier for me to let go off her, the person that I'm holding onto for more than 3 years, if i were to just remain friends with her. As much as i think i am doing this for Yungeon, I am ,too, doing this for myself. I guess its true what Kangin hyung said at Henry's restaurant the other day. "...You deserve to have every happiness in the world. As much as, she is happy now, i am sure that she want the same for you. Don't you think its time to let go of her?" At could hear his voice playing in my ears with those exact words just at the thought of it. 

"Yeah sure." I flashed a smile to her. Maybe this is a first step to a change in my life and i am going to do that for myself. I am going to slowing heal from the past. She is happy now. Like a saying that goes, 'If you love someone, let them go if it makes them happy because a real kind of love is not an obsession or a possesion. A love is real and pure when you are willing enough to set them free to find their own happiness even if its not with you.'

"Mummy, i want to sleep." Yungeon said while tugging her sweater and slanting his head to one side; giving a cute gesture. 

"Alright then. Do you want to go home now?" he nodded.

Sooyoung looked up to me and was about to open to ask if it okay with me if they go home when i blurted out, "Its okay, just get going already. Yungeon is probably tired. I'll be okay. Don't worry." 

With that, Sooyoung asked yungeon to say goodbye but before they leave, Yungeon climbed up the chair to get to where i was and he kiss me on the cheeks. "goodbye, siwon samchon." sooyoung then, gripped my hand and give it a light squeeze, She mouthed, "Thank you for everything, Oppa." I just nodded. She let go off my hand and she begin to carry Yungeon out of the room. I saw her back again going further and further away from me like how she always did. Then, i saw a tiny arms waving at me with his head rested at the crooked of her neck. I waved back but my arms soon stop my motion when i no longer see the back of Sooyoung anymore.

I went back to resting on the bed and after a few minutes, the door flung opened revealing Mom, Kyuhyun, Seohyun and Seunghyun. I was startled and puzzled that i didn't managed to utter a word at all. My mum wiped away her tears that escaped from eyes looking all worried. She cupped the sides of my head and attentively check up on me to see whether i am still in one piece. "Oh thank god! you are okay!" Mum said a little too loudly. Maybe that her way of sighing in relief.

I got back to my senses and i was bewildered as of to how they found out about me being here in the hospital. I, then, announced, "Yeah, mum. I am okay. Still in one piece. Its just a small accident. I won't die before i see my younger brother saying his vows in another two days."

"Hyung, I was so worried! We were all worried! and you better not die. You have to see me married first. Got it?!" He opened his arms to embrace me into a hug.

"Yeahyeah. You are so naggy, you know kyu?" 

I could feel him squeezing me during the hug as a sign of annoyance to my remarks. "Ouch..Ouch!"  I felt the pain on my injured sides as a result of the squeeze. With that he immediately let go of me. 

"Sorry hyung!"

"Its okay just don't do it again." 

I look to the side and i saw a brotherly smile of Seunghyun. I almost forgotten about him as he stand there quietly taking noticed of our family entics. He, then, reached out on my shoulder and give it a tap. "Glad you're still alive, buddy."

The smile that he gave me started to change to a faint apologetic smile. I wondered what happened and how they knew i was here. I guess the hospital did the contact search i guess. But i am certain that there was something really off about him today.

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Author's Note;

This is a short one but i hope it satisfy. Enjoy reading this chapter and i hope you'll bear with me, despite my lack of skills. Don't worry my fellow readers, its not the end yet. This is just the beginning of something new because i am a person of my words. When i said theres more to come, i actually really mean it. I hope i didn't dissapoint. thanks for reading, anticipating, commenting and subscribing. really appreciate it. Will update soon!