~Previously on 'Holding Onto Her'~

Siwon and kyuhyun reached home. Really looking forward to meeting his parents, his younger brother's fiancee and Mr kim, his 'god-father'. Deep in his heart he knew that the moment he landed his foot on a plane going back to Seoul from London, he would most definitely have to face her. But once he reached home, he didn't expect for her to be there.

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"BIP-BIT!!!"

The sound of a car honk startled the peace of the evening air in the mansion. Dad's home! I went towards the front door to welcome my dad from his long day of work in the office and besides that, I miss him. 

"hey, glad you're home!" 

My dad quickened his pace as i walk towards him. He took a good look at me before opening his arms to hug me. "I miss you, Son" 

"i miss you too, dad." 

-In the living room-

My dad, kyuhyun and I sat down the living room after dad came home. We were waiting for mum to finish cooking dinner with the help of Seohyun and the ajumma. We were discussing about London, my studies and practically about everything. Dad and I had a great time teasing Kyuhyun on how much he had change ever since he had known Seohyun. From being someone who always locked himself up in his bedroom to play starcraft all day, everyday; only coming out of his room to either grab a bite or to go for his classes. But now, after he graduated and finally works in the family business, never had we expected him to change 180 degrees. He is much more socialable now that he's older compared to when he was still in High School. His face turned completely red and he kept on giving me deathly glares. But who cares right? i'm having so much fun teasing him with the help from dad to cover the span when i was in London and was not able to make him as red as he is now. 

"Dinner's ready!"

Everyone sat around the dining table. Food spread throughout the table top. "Wow! Smells yummy!" kyuhyun exclaimed. Dad sat at the head of the table. On his right is mum and next to mum is where i sat. On dad's left, theres sat Kyuhyun and Seohyun. Eventhough, years had pass and things had changed, i am sure theres one family tradition that will never change which is praying before we dig in our food. We linked our hands together and dad led us with the prayer. After when we're done, mom served dad his dinner and seohyun began to serve kyuhyun with his. Seeing how blissful the moment was, i smiled and grinned to myself. I look at the opposite of me and saw the couple and future Mr and Mrs Choi making their love lines. Kyuhyun was seperating the greens away to the side of his plate and Seohyun persuading or should i say nagging at him to eat the vegetables. Mum nudged dad and soon the 3 of us began to stare at the sight of them bickering on the dining table. Those gestures and speech of why we should eat vegetables felt like a de javu. Suddenly, my thoughts began to drift away.

-flashback

We're having dinner in our apartment. I just came back from work. Sooyoung cook lots today. There's vegetables everywhere. ahh... I'm not a picky eater but i just don't like to eat vegetables. So, i decided to put the greens to a side. But a tapped on the back of my hands which is the table shocked me. I, immediately, looked up from my plate and towards the view of the most beautiful lady next to me. (other than my mum) Her dark brown orbs stared straight at me and could literally feel my heart melt from her stares. We were silent for a moment as she swallowed the food in . She raised one of her eyebrow and finally questioned me, "What do you think your doing?" 

"I'm... I was just putting a side the greens:" I manage to blurt out in hopes that she won't mind me. 

"Oh no, you're not thinking that i will just let this pass. You've been busy with work and always coming home late. Eating junks in the office and loads of other food that can make you sick soon if you don't get your proper rest. You are going to eat healthy from now on. Pronto?" And with that, she ended her persuasive speech. I had no choice but to abide if not, the couch is where i'm sleeping on tonight and god knows till when will a silent treatment from her will end. I can't deny though, she looks adorable when she's concentrating and tries to prove her point in an arguement. The way she will arch her back and sit up straight. The way she would raise both her eyebrows in hopes that her big brown eyes will be even bigger than it actually is.; just like how a kid trying to talk about her trip to the zoo or how a child tries to convince her mum to buy her an icecream, saying that its for the last time.

"Yes ma'am," I said while doing a salute gesture with my right hand. She smiled.

Then, for the rest of the dinner was filled with laughter of the jokes we both shared.

-ends of flashback.

The smile i had on me awhile ago faded because i realized that she was the reason to why i started to learn on how to love things that i use to hate and because of her too, i can't find a courage to hate things that i love. I shifted my gaze that was previously to the adoring couple in front of me to the plate. I let out a "hmph" of air from my nostrils. "more greens.." i mouthed to myself making sure that my voice won't be heard. Not even by mum. The image of her smiling face from the unexpected encounter just now, popped up in my mind. i decided to shake it away, knowing that if i don't, the pain of the break up that haunts me everyday will just come back without warning. 

"Stop bickering you two. Kyuhyun just finish up the vegetable. What Seohyun said is right, you have to eat healthy foods from now on. You can't afford to fall ill when we're so close to the big day!" mum said, demanding.... 

Seohyun smiled in victory and Kyuhyun doing what was told.

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After all of us were done with dinner, dad went up to his room to get a good bath and rest for the night. Kyuhyun went out of the house with Seohyun to send her to her car and give his goodnight and take care kiss. Mum is busy catching up on her drama tv show before going up for a good night's rest. I decided to make coffee and went up to my room to unpacked. 

-bedroom-

I set aside my cup of coffee on the side table of my bed. i went straight to unpacking. I was done in half an hour. I grab my coffee with me and sit out at the balcony of my bedroom. I was enjoying the night sky and view of the star that light up my room when all of a sudden, a knock was heard. i turned and reached for the door knob. Twist it and pulling it slightly, revealling a grinning Kyuhyun. 

"Mind if i come in hyung?" 

"of course not." moving to the side letting him in. I close the door after and went back to sit on the sofa in my bedroom balcony. Kyuhyun followed suit.

He sat on the seat next to me. I look at him and i decided to break the silence. "What's up kyu?"

"Hyung, i want to apologize. I should have told you.." He paused. The smile that he wore when he was at the door changed to a frown and guilt was written on his face. He, then, continued, "I should have told you earlier."

"about what?" I cluelessly asked.

"About her being the wedding planner of my marriage with seohyun. I know that it still pains you at the sight of her, no matter how much you deny it, hyung. I know.."

"oh about that.." i cut his speech short and attempt to let out a soft chuckle and take a sip from my cup of coffee. "it's okay. I don't mind it."

"I saw how your eyes always starts to sparkle every single time we come to talk about it. I saw how painful it is for you to look at her just now, i saw it all hyung."

"Yah Kyuhyun.. I'm really okay." i said with my right hand putting a thumbs up. i managed to let out a convincing smile as well. 

"Well, enough about that.." i said, "How did you get Sooyoung to become the wedding planner?"

"Actually, i didn't. Seohyun did. After the proposal, seohyun told me that one of her cousins work as an event organiser and she could help. I didn't expect it to be Sooyoung." Kyuhyun explained.

"So, i guess Seohyun and Sooyoung are related then...."

We talked for a while more. When i saw kyuhyun started to yawn a couple of times, I told him that i wanted to rest and with that we said our goodnight even though i wasn't feeling the jetlag at all. I know my brother was trying his best to stay awake to just accompany me in this lonely night. After he left my room, I was about to get ready for bed and call it a night when i tried to search for my phone to make an alarm. i tried to find it in the balcony, my empty luggage, on the study table and even in the closet but it was nowhere to be found. I opened up the drawer at the side of my bed where my night light is and finally, i found it. Can't remember when i put it there though but something else caught my attention. The tightness on my chest its back. In the drawer, there settled a few things. I sat on the side of my bed and reached out my hand and into the drawer to take out a photo frame. Its a photo of Sooyoung and me on our first holiday together in Paris. We're standing in front of the Eiffel tower and looking at each others eyes. Our faces are just a few centimeters apart. With that, a smile creeped on my face while my free hand was place on my chest. The pain became unbearable. It felt as if someone took a knife and rip my heart out. Ever so slowly, the smile that i have on my face started to fade. Tears began to form. I tried to shake it off but the emotions took over me like a tsunami. And it fell; unstopable. From the side of my bed, i slid down to the floor. Its as if i had lost control not just my emotions but my legs muscle and my being as well. I cupped the frame to my chest and hugged it tightly as if i was hugging her.  A tear escaped from the corner my eyes to my chin and lastly, to the flooring of my room. Leaving droplets of water filled with emotions untouched. I closed my eyes and laid my head back to the softness of the edge of my bed's. I was struggling to blurt out something. I was struggling to make a sound; to say a word.

"I-I...m-missed you."

That's all that i managed.

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Authour's note: 

I'm sorry . I still can't decide on who but i hope this is okay. will update soon once i've decided. maybe i am going to make up Sooyoung "someone else" with my imagination. i hope you don't mind. please enjoy this. and i'm sorry if its not up to what you expect. i'm still trying. please be patient with me.  thanks for reading and commenting. i really appreciate it.