"I'm sorry. I think you are sitting on my seat. My ticket stated that i am suppose to seat at A11 and you're sitting on A11." She smiled.

I opened my mouth to say something but my mouth doesn't seemed to make a sound once our gaze connect. I was speechless and yet i have no idea why. The deathly glare that i planned to give, immediately fade away; failling to follow as per plan. I moved out of the seat and let her get in towards her seat. She just nodded and i tried to clear my throat. I, then, only managed to say.

"I'm sorry." Letting out an apologetic smile. At that moment, I swear i could feel my face flushed. 

"It's okay," she said with and assuring smile. Our gazed still not leaving each other and all of a sudden an awkward silence started to creep in. We broke our gazed when an announcement could be heard through the system of the plane. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to...."

I sat on my seat and I started to put on my seatbelt. I hold out my phone to set it to flight mode. In the midst of the silence, i heard the same voice that i heard previously before the announcement was made. 

"Excuse me, erm, how am i going about to say this without looking weird..." She blurted out and i could see a sense of urgency in her eyes. She looked frantic and nervous. By the looks of it, i think this is her first flight by herself. Looking at her like this, amuse me in ways that i don't basically understand. Something took over me and i said, "Hey, everything is going to be okay. Its your first flight alone, isn't it?" 

She let out a sigh and lowers her head. A nod could then be seen as an answer to the question that i just asked. I don't know why i did what i did, i settled my phone to my lap and i put my hands infront of her. I could tell, that she was shocked by my actions. I mean who won't right? A stranger who you just met, you don't know what his name is and all of sudden is putting his hands out in front of you without saying anything. And my guess was right when i saw the confusion in her eyes. Still having the smile that i wore previously, I said, "Go on ahead. You can hold onto my hand if you are afraid." She was hesitant at first but when the plane started to move to the runway, she quickly grabbed my hand while looking out of the plane window. Fear and nervousness was written on her face. I let out a small and yet a silent chuckle when i observed how nervous she was feeling. 

When th plane had fully took off, she turns her head to face me and she let go of her grip from my hand. I could see a smile grew on her face. I could tell that she was feeling relief and glad that everything is over and her fears have slowly subsided. 

"Thank you." 

"Oh, don't mention it. Its okay. If you don't mind me asking, are you going to London to study or are you going to london for a holiday? I'm sorry, I am just too bored here."

"None of both. I'm born in Korea and raised in London. I came back to Seoul for a family friend's wedding. So, practically i am going home not going for a holiday. But i am a University student maybe, you can say that i am going back to London for my studies." 

Our conversations continued for a while till she excused herself for a moment to go the ladies. I opened the bag that i had on my seat and took out my earpiece. While searching for it, I noticed the brown leather book that was in my bag and took it out. I plugged in my earpiece to my phone started to listen to to the songs that was on my playlist. After settling cozily on my seat with the seat laid out at angle that made me more comfortable i opened up the book and started to read the pages after the ones that i've stopped on the other day.

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Dear diary,

Its been months now and i'm on my 8th month of pregnancy. Daniel is being so anxious this days waiting for the arrival of the little one. I am nervous and anxious too. We bought alot of baby things from baby's essentials to baby toys to baby stroller. The nursery had been decorated too. We also had given the name to our first newborn. Yungeon. Danish Lee Yungeon. Yes, you guess that right! The baby that is in my womb right now is a baby boy. I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to finally be able to hold him in my arms and kiss him. I'm going to shower him with all the love that i can give. I was lucky though when i was in my early pregnancy, I didn't suffered morning sickness as much as i thought i would like how people usually said it. Thank god! Diary, but thats not the only thing that i want to write about today.

A few days ago, I met with Seunghyun while waiting for Daniel to finish up with his follow up. It has been almost a year every since i left him. Its been almost a year ever since i last saw his face. Probably, right now, he has moved on. Seunghyun told me that he didn;t came back for Christmas last year which is so unlike him. When we were still together, Siwon oppa always look forward for christmas! He would be the one who is the most enthusiastic. Every single christmas, he would always make a dinner for all our friends to come over and spend time together. And every christmas eve, he'll always send me to my parents place while he goes back to his own, to be together with his family. There was once i refused to go back to my parents place on christmas eve due to the pile up work, he will give me a long speech of how important spending our time and giving time to spend it with family was and especially during an occasion such as christmas. When i heard that he didn't came back for christmas because there was so many project that need to be done, it really shocked me. While on the way home, my thoughts were all over the place thinking of the reason to why he didn't come back and its so not like him. It just struck me. The reason just did... I realized that the reason behind why he didn't came back was because he still has not be able to move on yet. He is still holding onto me, holding onto what we used to have. He didn't want to come back here probably because he is still healing from the pain that i've caused upon his heart. When i think of myself being happy about things that i have right now, from the baby and the recovery of Daniel from cancer, I realized how bad i was being as a person. I am being happy here in Seoul with the people i love around me, anticipating a new person in my life while he is there in London with no one with him. I am happy here while he is suffering over there. I just hope that one day when he comes back, he's already being able to let go of things and had already healed. I just want that one day when he comes back here to Seoul, he'll be able to accept my reasons for leaving him and he will be able to forgive my actions. I just hope that he'll find somene who will make him happy. And in all honesty, I just hope we could mend our relationship and become friends because no matter what he still owns a special place on my heart and that's one thing i'll never going to deny. Oppa, mianhae..

Sooyoung

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Author's note;

I hope you'd enjoy reading this. i will upload soon. Thanks for subscribing and commenting. really appreciate it. sorry for the flaws by the way.