-previously on 'Holding Onto Her'

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~Reached home.~

While taking everything out from the boot of the car, i looked around the front of our family home. It's the same as it was before I left for London. From the gate and the entrance of the mansion to the windows, porch, parking space and the garden. The only difference was that there are more flowers grown now. I guess age had really caught up on mom. I could feel the side of my lips curled a little to form a smile. While looking around, I couldn't help but to noticed the cars that were parked at the garage parking space. Theres mum's BMW. Theres my black convertable Audi. Theres a navy blue volkswagen and a black sophisticated looking minicooper. One of those probably belong to kyu's fiancee. But whose the owner of the other one? Is dad at home already? I looked down to my wrist to check what time it was and its still 430 in the evening. It's impossible for dad to be home at this timing; knowing how much of a workaholic dad was and probably still is. He won't never leave his office just for his son's return that's for sure. Especially, when he has strict work ethics. Being a curious Choi Siwon that I was and probably will always be, i couldn't fight the urge to blurt out the question to my younger brother that was busy trying to take out my heavy luggages. 

"kyuhyun, did dad just bought a new car?" i asked.

"huh? what do you mean?" he looked up after closing the door to the boot of his car. He's eyes widened in surprise and he continued, "Oh god! About that,, i need to tell you something, hyung..."

Puzzled. I gave him a questionable facial expression. 

He, then clarified. "That car isn't dad's. That car belongs to.... S-Sooyoung"

At the sound of her name, all the memories that we used to make flashes before my eyes. A sudden tightness on my chest could be felt. What is she doing here? At a point when i thought i was doing fine ,and i thought that everything was going to be okay, she just had to appear. I could feel the coldness of the air from the side of my face. i could actually feel my face losing it's colour. I know this time would eventually come but i didn't expect it to be this fast. 

"Are you two just going to stand there?!" Mum's voice could be heard from the front porch and with that, i got back to my senses. I turned to the direction of the voice and walk forward towards her. Putting a smile on my face, trying to look as convincing as possible that i am glad to be here. But i can't lie to myself, i don't actually feel good knowing that she's in our house. I felt the pain in my chest. I felt nervous at the thought that she will be in front of me again after all this years. But through it all, i was afraid at the thought of her. i was scared that i couldn't be able to accept the fact that she is married or she's already a mom of a child, their child. His and hers. A Mom of a child that isn't mine. I was afraid that i was not as ready as i thought i did a few minutes ago in the car. 

"Hey mom! How are you?" i wrapped my arms around the shoulders of my mum. "I miss you," I whispered in between the hugs. We slowly pull away when i realize that i heard someone sobbed in the embrace. 

"Hyung! what did you do? why are you crying, mummy?" kyu questioned me and smacked the back of my shoulder. Having his eyes glared at me. I'm not trying to exaggerate but i swear i thought he was trying to shoot laser at me through his eyes. "Yah, it hurts, you know?!" i whined in pain. Didn't know that my brother had began to grow defensive and protective of mom through out the years. I was glad that he was able to take care of the family while i was away. "Stop the bickering the two of you. Kyu, i am fine. I am just too happy to see my son back here in our home. He's been away for too long. This tears are happy tears!" She exclaimed while wiping away the tears and smiling warmly to the two of us. 

"Let's get in."

Entering the house, i could hear voices of two other women. I'm sure its from the living room. 

"Girls, they're home!" mum announced once the door was opened and we took the first step  through the door. "Mr kim, Can you please help Siwon with his things up to his room?" "Yes, madam" 

Mr kim has been working in our house for as long as i remember. He is the helper, a family friend and also an advisor of the household. Kyuhyun and I practically grew up under his care ever since i was born. He was like a god-father to me since my dad was not usually at home. 

"Siwon- shi... it's nice to have you back." he said while giving his famous proud, fatherly smile.The smile that he had always wore ever since forever, never change but the wrinkles by his eyes are now much more visible.

"Siwon hyung! Are you done up there? Mum is calling for you" A deep loud voice coming from the stairs could be heard from my bedroom. I turned and walked down the stairs saying, "okay,okay! coming!" Oh, god! Its time.

~In the living room~

"Hyung, this is Seohyun, my fiancee." Seohyun wore a white casual dress shirt, a pair of light-wash skinnies whith her hair in a side braid. Gosh, she looks great! I can't deny my brother made a good choice. She bow and say, "Annyeonghaseyo, Seohyun imnida" "oh, annyeong! Siwon imnida. Seohyun-shi, theres no need to be so formal, we'll be family soon, after all." i said with a smile on my face.  I turned to walk towards mom but my pace was stopped out of the blue. 

I saw her. She is beautiful as always. Sooyoung who sat next to my mom shoots up and let out a small curl at the side of her lips. "Hi. How have you been? its been a long time."

"I-I'm fine. Yeah, It's been more than 3 years. What are you doing here?" i asked her; pretending to look as fine as possible but only god know how much i want to run towards her and embrace her into a tight hug. To just tell her that i miss her.  No, siwon. composure, smile and everything will be okay. You can't be weak. You can't be selfish. Can't you see she is happy? You can do this.

"I was driving pass here and i thought i should come over and discuss with Seohyun and Kyuhyun about the last finishing touches of the wedding. Well, I hope you didn't forget that i am an event organiser? I'm the organiser of these lovely couple's wedding." Oh, that nearly slipped off my thoughts.

"I got to go now since i'm done with the last touches." she said, trying to leave. I could see the guilt in her eyes; probably, the scene of the break up, our break up played before her eyes like how it haunts me everyday.

"Sooyoung-shi, why don't you joined us for dinner? It will be 6 soon and the boys' father will be home." mum offered.

"That won't be necessary." she said, still gazing at me with an assuring smile. A smile that was given when you are trying to say that you are not going to spoil someone's day.  "Someone is waiting for me at home for dinner." She turned to look at mum with a soft smile, "maybe next time Mrs Choi." 

With that, she bidded goodbye. She left me once again. Her back walking towards the door just as how she did when she decided to leave me that night.

-Flashback-

I was setting up the table for our candle-lit dinner in our own apartment. Today was a special day, its our 4th year anniversary of being in a relationship. Finished with it, I check the clock on the wall opposite me. its 8pm. She'll be here any minute. i slipped my hand into my pocket and took out a small silver metal box. Yes, its a ring box and yes, i'm going to propose to her tonight. i could literally feel my heart jumped out of my shirt when i contemplate on what to say and how to propose to her. Being in love with her for more than 4 years and finally finding the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend, i want this moment to be perfect because she deserves it. She is the one that i want to spend an eternity with and for the rest of my life with. I love her. I went to the kitchen and prepared her favourites on the plate. Suddenly, i heard the door to the entrance of our apartment flung opened. "it's time!" i whispered to myself while taking the food with me to place it on the table. 

"Hey, how's your day?" i walked towards her and welcome her home with the warmest hug that i could give. "Happy 4th aniversary, youngie!" i could tell she was surprised by it through her eyes but all of a sudden, her eyes started to swell up in tears. I began to panic. "Hey, is there something wrong?" i questioned her. But she doesn't move an inch at all. All she does was to look at the flooring of the apartment and covering ; trying not to make a sound through the tears that she lets go of. I tried to get close to her and attempted to touch her face, so that i could wipe the tears away. So that, she would look at me in the eyes and tell me what is going on. However, all of the attempts failed miserablely as she kept on avoiding and pushing my hands away. However, i didn't give up and try to persuade her once more, "Did I do something wrong? Can you tell me what the hell is going on? I'm panic right here. I don't know what else to do anymore to comfort you when you don't even let me touch you."

She looked up and said, "O-ppa, I love you. But I'm sorry."

"Huh?! What are you talking about? I love you too. Theres no need to apologize, you did nothing wrong." She tried to fight back her tears but the emotions took her over. 

"Let's break up." she said softly but still audible to my ears.

"You're kidding right? You said you love me now, you're trying to break up with me?!" i chuckled while keeping my fingers cross hoping that it wasn't true. Hoping and wishing that i just misheard what she said. 

"O-ppa, i am not kidding."

"Is it because of me not spending much time with you due to the projects? I told you it'd be over soon.. Why are you making a decision like this? I love..."

"THERE's someone else Oppa!"

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Author's note; 

hey, i hope this chapter will be okay. enjoy reading this. i have not decide who will be the "someone else" that sooyoung-shi meant. will be decided tonight. sorry for the flaws and i am still learning. So, bear with me. Thanks for subscribing and reading this. Really appreciated.