When we are arriving at the restaurant, I just completely silence. Neither of us would say something or anything. It seems strange sure, because whenever we meet it usually only happen for couple minutes and that is a coincidence, but now, it’s not. It something that we plan out, we’re mostly is Changmin though, perhaps the situation just kind of awkward for us, because we doesn’t know what we going to talk into each other.

Changmin choose the seat on the corner. He sits in front of mine who is sits by the wall, so he’s no need to face another people in here. I think about something anything to make the situation melted a little bit. Well, when the waiters come and asking of our order, I slight feel relief because at least someone is here to take our attention from the silence, but when she’s gone, well, I don’t know what to do then. I using my eyes to search anything to be a topic for a conversation, and in the end, my eyes landed to in front of me where there is a plastic bag over the table. I look at it curiously.

“What is that?” I ask Changmin slowly who take his attention from the window beside us. He looks at me for a little while before bring his gaze toward the plastic bag just like what I done “I mean what inside it?”

“Glad you ask.” Changmin says simple before he shoves the plastic bag toward me. I right in front of me right now. I look at it before piping up what inside it and well, I’m not surprise at all “It’s Lily of the Nile, the one that I grew. And now it’s yours.”

“What? Why?” I open the plastic bag and take out the pot of the flower over the table. Somehow it’s something that really is beautiful. I never take care of something, the last thing that I ever take care off is a gold fish when I was around six and it died only within a week. It quiet a burden for me “isn’t that if you’re grew this up, you’ll get sad when it’s become mine?”

“Sort off, but then it yours, and I could trust you to take care of it.”

Oh lord, he just doesn’t realize to whom he talking to. I just smile toward him. It’s not like I don’t like it, no, it feels vulnerable when someone give you something that they care so much, but it also a challenge to take care of it. Somehow I wonder if perhaps Ahra noona know how to take care a plant, so I could handle this things to her or at least asking for her help.

When our food come we just eat in silenced again. I’m just pretend like I’m focusing on my food and I guess that also what Changmin done right now. It just happen for a moment before finally Changmin open his mouth and say something when he already eat half of his food. “You know, someone told me if I want to give something, it’s not about the ‘thing’ but about the feeling. I don’t know what are you feeling when you get that flower. I mean perhaps is such a burden for you to take care of it, but, it something that I take care off, so…”

“Well, yeah it such a burden though when I think about it. Think about how I supposed to take care of it.” it just slips out from my mouth suddenly. I don’t even thinking about it when I saying that. I quickly look at Changmin when I finally finish my words. I try to find his expression, wonder if I just hurting his feeling, but the next thing that I found is how he smile widely before he burst into laughing, very hard until he like forget about his food at all. I questioning about it, about how come he laughs when if I in his position I would felt disappointed “Yyah! What’s so funny!?”

“You’re funny… you’re too honest.” He still laughs a little before he finally ends it and takes sips of his orange juice. He is still smiling when the lip of the glass is in his mouth. He still looks at me with the corner of his eyes. I just wonder how that could be funny. He seems understand my look and put his glass on the table again before he slumped his shoulder a little with a smile “Don’t you think it a challenge for you, to take care something that kind of precious to someone?”

He’s right. I mean he has a point there. Without I realize it I just put a smile on my face as I continue eating the lunch in front of me that almost forgotten.

.

.

.

“You know thanks to walk me home.”

We already arrive in front of my house. Changmin insist that he would like to walk me home even though it’s three blocks away from my house. Well, I couldn’t say anything when he act like a child suddenly that asking his parents for a candy in supermarket. In the end I just agreeing with him and let him lead the way since he still remember where I live after these time.

The whole way is spending with an unbelievable talk. I mean, I can’t believe that Changmin would talk so much about so many things. He would talk about how he likes manga and then so many movies. About how many fantasies books he already read and reread in whole year. He would talk about so many simple things like how funny to see other people walk or when accidentally we eavesdropping on the junction while we shouldn’t. The whole way home, I don’t know how long I’ve been put this smile on my face; perhaps it’s never leaving my face though.

“Yeah, you’re welcome.” Changmin laughs a little, something that he always do in the whole way, and without I realize it I also laughs with him. “You better get inside.”

I lost my breath for a little while, three? Five second? I don’t know, but I feel like I hate to hear what he just says. I smile a little in the end and take my eyes off from him toward my hands on my side which is now holding the plastic bag with a potted Lily of the Nile there. I take a few steps backwards before I lift my head again and look at Changmin who still look at me endearingly “Yeah… I better get inside… thanks, Changmin.”

He waves his hand for me while a moment after that I get inside the gate of my house. I could still see he still stand there for a little while. I reply his waving hand for a second before he turn his body and start to walk away. I turn my body also so I could get inside the house, but after few steps I stop my feet and bite my bottom lips, without I realize it I already put the plastic bag on the ground before I bring my feet back toward the gate of my house and storm off there.

“Changmin!”

I could see Changmin already walk quiet far from my house. God, how could he walk that fast? I can see he’s turning his body and look back at me, even for this far I could see his questioning look. He walks back toward where I stand. I couldn’t make him walk back that far, so I also that have to jog a little which make us meet in few meters from my house. He smiles at me widely “Am I forgetting something or…?”

Oh crap. I already stop him now, and he’s now standing in front of me. What should I do? I mean I don’t even know either why I call him back, or why he should turn back and stand in front of me? He could just pretend not hearing me so the situation not going to be more awkward like now. I look at his face to find the answer why I call him back, but it always ended in one thing and of course I wouldn’t saying that. In the end I just slip a weird laughs “Haha, nothing… it just, home safe…?”

I can see rightly about how weird Changmin expression now, like he is questioning what exactly I want to say, but then he just smile “I will.” He then uses his index finger to poking the tip of my nose. He showing his perfect teeth as he doing that while my eyes is shut spontaneously in second. He laughs. “Bye Kyu.” And turn his body again before start walking leaving me there still staring at his back that slowly leaves the place.

Slowly, I lift my hands and touch the tip of my nose to where Changmin just poking me before. I don’t know why, but I just smile as a warm feeling crept up into my cheeks from my neck while I start to walk back toward my house.

Lily of the Nile

genus name: Agapanthus

Greek words: "αγαπη" (agape)  which means "love," and "ανθος" (anthos) which means "flower", so it's become Flower of Love

Thanks for reading :))