2011/04/12_WED

Today we (infinite) going to send our oldest hyung to overseas, it's for his own good. The longer he stays here, the pain can't fade away, he will always trap in the memory. We hope that he can cure his pain while studying, hoping for him completely forget about it, impossible. It's impossible even though I didn't go through this, even once I didn't go through a love relationship, but I bet it will be hard for him. Losing someone that we love too much it's a pain in our heart, well that's what they says. Me? Love? I don't know what love is. True love? Did it exist? Nonsense, there's no true love, such waste of time. For me, love can be an obstacle to a freedom. I want freedom, don't have any responsibility, just enjoy my time with my drink and woman. Yes, woman, but there's nothing related to love. Haha .. I like this kind of life.

Oh, today at airport, I met a pretty gorgeous stewardess with a nice body, surely suit my taste for playing around, while I'm checking on her, I accidentally bump into Hyuna, Sunggyu hyung little sister. So, I apologize to her. We talk a bit, she's a nice girl, totally not my type of playing around. She just too nice, she's a good candidate for being a wife. Dang, what am I talking about? Haha, obviously not for me, I will never get involved with love and married. Haha.. I will make sure it won't happen.

2011/05/04_SAT

Guess who I ran into today? It's Hyuna. Wait, why sound excited, Wooyun-ah. Ah.. Maybe it’s been a long time since last I get to play around. I'm getting tired with these training that appa try to give me. Training to be a CEO? Huh? It's not my interest at all. It's such a nuisance. Should I enjoy my night today? My parents not at home and noona stay over at her friend's house, it's a good timing of having a little party tonight. Oh yeah, freedom for lives. So, who's going to be my toy tonight? Too much in the list or maybe Hyuna? Wait, Hyuna? Haha, I guess slip of the tongue. I won't destroy that girl. Haha..

2011/05/26_TUE

Let's focus Woohyun-ah, she's just a little sister, not more than that. Nothing can happen between us, definitely. I'm so sure about it. Should I go to the dinner? Sunggyu hyung family invites us (infinite) to come over and having a dinner. I think it's not nice to decline their invitation, they already regard us as their own child. We should go tomorrow.

2011/05/27_WED

I don't know why I snap her picture, I enjoy seeing her laugh. Haha.. Stupid of me I know. Today we talk a bit about each other, she's a great little sister with a bright personality. She's calling me as Woohyun oppa. Oppa? Somehow I'm enjoying it. Her oppa is more pure than other girls that only do that to attract my attention. Should I keep this photo? I secretly snap her picture while she is having a conversation with Sungyeol, a photo of her laugh. Her laugh was genuine.

2011/10/27_SAT

It's been 5 months since last I met her. Last night, I ran into her at the park, she's alone. Too bad I can't accompany her because I'm with one of my toys. I greet her, but she does seem uncomfortable, maybe because of I have a girl beside me.

Again, I meet her this evening, she's alone again. She looks upset, like there something bothering her. I take a seat beside her silently, she didn't notice me. She lost in her thought. I try to call her, but she didn't respond, I touch her shoulder slightly, but quickly I draw away my hand. It feels, how I suppose to say this, tingling feeling. I feel different, maybe because this is the first skinship between us. She looks at me, I quickly give her a smile and asking what she doing here alone. At first she refuses to tell me, she keeps saying she's okay, but after I convince her to tell me because she's like a little sister to me, finally she tells me. She's just broke up with her boyfriend. I ask for the reason, she's saying that guy dumps her for another girl. She's suddenly crying and saying about how much she hate that kind of guy. She hates a guy with a many girls around them, always change to a new girl like they're his clothes. When I heard her words, I feel pain in my heart, why would I feel that? Is it because I'm like a guy she describes? Yes, I do have many girls around me, but does she know it? Suddenly she's stopped crying and apologizes to me for her words. Nah, I'm okay with it. The pain? If I really okay with it, why I feel the pain when I'm hearing her words. Why she's apologizing? Ugh, I'm so confused. She gets up and saying that she want to go home, I'm offering her a ride but she refuses. She's says she took a cab, but before she's walking away, I'm asking for her phone number, so we exchange our phone number. Should I send her a message? Huh? Seriously? Does it need? Maybe I can ask her whether she's okay, like a brother worried about his sibling. Only that, yeah, we just like a sibling.

I got a reply from her, thank God she's okay.

2011/12/25_FRI

The Christmas, Christmas time is here!! This year I'm celebrating Christmas alone, my family? Sometimes I feel it’s better I don't have a family, they're too busy with their work.

I got a message from her, she's inviting me to her house since I'm alone. She said that she doesn't want me celebrate Christmas day alone, I feel warm with her words. Thank you, Hyuna-ah for giving me a warm feeling.

2012/03/17_MON

Bad news!! Why??!

I never imagine that I will lose them now, I'm not ready, I need my appa, my omma, my noona, I need my family. Why all of you leave me alone in this world?? I need my family!!

2012/06/01_SAT

Why do I have this kind of feeling? I shouldn't have this feeling, but I can't help with it. Oh god, it's frustrating. Why it have to be you? I don't want to hurt you. I already try to run from it because I know I can't give you happiness and I'm afraid that I can't be loyal towards you. I'm a player, I've many girls around me and you know it too. Obviously, you won't accept me, but I'm sorry I can't think you as my sister anymore. Hyuna, I think I fall in love with you, since the day we met. Arghh.. It's hard to believe this, even myself don't believe with this feeling at first. After I see you cry on the park, it hurt me, but I try to avoid the feeling, saying that as a brother I don't want to see my sister get hurt. Day by day, I convince myself, you're my sister. Haha.. I lose. The day I lost my family, you're here beside me, you know what I want to do that time? I want to hug you, I want you to comfort me, but I didn't do because I don't want to make you afraid. I'm resisting the temptation. I want to confess to you, but I know the answer will be no. You will never like a player like me. It's okay, let me keep this feeling deep inside my heart.

2013/04/18_MON

I'm missing you. How are you doing now? I'm getting busy with the company, but I still have the time to miss you. Haha. Weird. I've written many things about you in this diary, I hope I won't lose this diary or not this matter won't be secret anymore. Maybe people will laugh at me. A player who has many girls like me, keep changing girl like they're a pair of clothes is falling in love with a kind girl, I will be a laughing stock. Yes, I admit I'm a player, but it's not anymore, after I'm realising my feeling for you, I've changed, I'm getting lost interest to have fun, going to club, wake up with a hangover, I've changed because of you. It will be nice if I can tell you this.

I love you, Kim Hyuna.

2013/04/25_MON

Should I confess to you? Or should I just keep it myself?

But, what if it a one sided love??

Hyuna look at Woohyun, she flashes her smile.

  '' I'm glad you are confessing to me, if not maybe until now I didn't know that you have a feeling for me. Thank you, oppa.''

She hugs him tightly.

  '' Thanks to you too for accepting my love, thanks for letting me stay in your heart.''

  '' It's not easy getting my heart, but you did it. Please take care of my heart.''

  '' I will. From today, you're my responsibility, I will take care of you and our child until my last breath.''

  '' I will try to be a good wife for you and a good mother to our child. For you, I'm quitting my job, it's the way I show my love for you because I know you're worried about me.''

  '' Finally, you know why I'm telling you to quit your job, it's for your own dear. Now you need a rest.'' Woohyun take the diary from Hyuna and make her lay on the bed. After making sure she's comfortable, he switches off the light and lay beside her.

  '' Good night, Hyuna.'' He embraces Hyuna and give a kiss on her forehead.

  '' Good night,oppa.''