Dear Diary,

Have you ever lost your beloved one?

I have....

Cheondung POV

It was a bright lit sunlight that pierced through the window glass that woke me up from this "fantasy". Never have I noticed that I've been dwelling myself in this so called "Fantasy" far too long. 2 years I guess? Maybe this is just a dream that I have finally woke up to face the reality. I have never imagine, never am I prepared to face this nightmare that is soon to swallow me up completely. I woke up blinking twice at the ceiling above me and then scanning the whole surrounding. My head got bandaged as well as my left hand. It hurts everytime I try to move a little but what hurt most is the latter part that I have not prepared yet. I got up into sitting position, blinking hard while trying to recover the memories I have before I enter this ward. I have vaguely remembered that I drank alot of alcohol and then everything after that is just blurry, but nonetheless, I remembered the most important part. Seungho hyung. The memories of him clearly shown, how he tried to stop me from drinking, stop me from driving and then....

stop me from dying.

Despite of my injuries,I rushed out from the room. Although it may hurts me everytime I try to move but those pain is much lesser than what had Seungho hyung had faced. MUCH MORE than what I have imagined it would be. As I rushed out aimlessly, searching high and low of where Seungho hyung is, I bumped into a lady nurse though it was rude of me, but she greeted me with a smile.

"I-I'm sorry." I bowed my head in apologies for my rude behavior as I scanned her from top to bottom. She's pretty, beautiful and elegant. Her innocent yet gentle person really suit her as a nurse. I blushed in embarassment as I noticed that she was looking at me as well.

"Haha, is fine. How may I help you? You seems to be in a hurry" She said while looking at me with her pure eyes. Gentle if that word suits her whole.

Lee Ji Eun, her name when I was scanning her thoroughly. Such a nice name.

"Ahh Do you know where Yang Seungho hyung is?" I asked hurried. I wonder how Seungho hyung now is. I'm worried but I can't really ditched away my manner am I? Seungho hyung taught me all the manners I have to behave as a member of MBLAQ. No matter how impatience we are, we have to behave well as well.

"Yang Seungho-ssi?" She pouted, trying to remember the name that sounds so familiar but that doesn't a ring a bell to her it seems. 

"Seungho hyung, the one that got into accident together with me! Have you seen him? Do you know where is he?" I remind her again, now starting to become impatience myself. I must know what had happened to him. I have to know, I MUST know! 

"Ahh, Yang Seungho-ssi! He's at the ward after this hallway" She pointed at the long hallway across to the opposite side.

"At ward 103" She said.

"Gamsahamnida" I bowed to her, thanking her before I rushed to the hallway, searching for Ward 103.

"No running on the hallway" She said while looking at me rushing off.

It hurts. Every muscles in me hurts badly. The pain, the feelings, the injuries, everything... hurts so badly. What hurt most, is my heart.

As I rushed over to the other side, I've found the ward. It was just the first turning of the corner of the hallway. It doesn't take me long to found it. I'm sharp as always. I was panting, breathing heavily outside of the closed door. Thinking hard, trying to gain courage to open that door. All these happened, because of my own selfishness, my own stubbornness. All these happened.... because of me. If I have listened to Seungho hyung, will all these be erased?  

Never have I imagine, the nightmare starts now.

I brave myself to open the door just to see Seungho hyung lying down on the wardbed, unconscious. My heart pound fast. Every step that I take seems slower each time. The pain that I felt in my body, is much lesser than the pain that I felt in my heart. Seungho hyung... badly injured. Tears starts to fall off my eyes as I walked towards him, sitting beside him.

I touched his face gently. He seems to be sleeping peacefully despite all the bandage around him. I remembered now. I remembered everything that happened that night. EVERYTHING. I was never a good driver, what's more when I was drunk. Seungho hyung should have drive. Why didn't I let him? He tried so hard to stop me, but why did I ignore his words? Why am I so stubborn? If I let him drive, I won't be seeing him like this in front of me. Tears start to fall as I nudge him to wake up, calling out his name.

"Seungho hyung, Seungho hyung." No reaction, no movement, nothing.

I tried again.

"Seungho hyung... is me, Doongie. Wake up please..." I called out to him, hoping and wishing that those words fall deep into his conscious that he will be able to hear it.

Thanks to the gracious mighty God. Seungho hyung heard my words as I saw his finger moved a little. I was happy, truly happy that I rushed to the wall behind him and buzzed the button, calling for the doctor to come.

But.... am I really happy?

The doctor came in just after 10 minute I pressed the button. Both the nurse and the doctor came and examine him. I saw a smile shown in both of them.

Doctor, how is him?" I asked after they finished checking him. I saw hope in their smile.

"He's fine. I'm sure he will wake up soon. Congrats to you." He said to me with a grin in his face and true to what he said, Seungho hyung manage to wake up in time and this leave the doctor again examine him, first at his eyes and then his chest and finally, leave me to greet him face to face.

"Seungho hyung, seungho hyung, are you okay?" I asked as he still trying much to gain his sight and the whole situation.

Seungho hyung blinked several time, scanning to his left, and then to his right and back to me.

"Seungho hyung?" I asked.

"Who......... are you?"

Author's Note : For your info, I AM CDThunder and yes, this fanfic belongs to me. If you don't believe, I can tell you the whole story of Miracles, Jeonjaengiya, An End Without Beginning, Lost Memories, 15 Days To Fall In Love and etc.