Dear Diary,

Do you ever have the courage to confess?

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"Hyung.. I... " I hesitated. My heart beat racing. My fist clenching tightly to my side. I caught myself breathing heavily. 

Cheondung hyung look at me curiously. He must have wonder what is wrong with me.

I take a deep breath and slowly breathing it out as I eye him with a confident look.

"Should I said it?" I thought to myself.

"Hyung, I love you" I said as my a sudden desperation. An impulse.

He was shocked and puzzled and confused at the same time as I know by the look he pull on it.

That's it! I've said it. Now what? I was confused as to why I said it. It must have been a sudden desperation. Now screw it. What will happened to my friendship with him?

"Hoya... What did you say?" Cheondung hyung asked me as he frowned himself, not catching of the words I said.

"Ahh, nothing hyung. You heard wrong" I said. I feel like a jerk, a useless jerk who aren't brave enough to speak what I am feeling deep inside. I was confused, really. Trying to give an excuse just to avoid being in a difficult situation is what a jerk will do and that's who I am right now.

Cheondung hyung was still puzzled as he eyed me curiously. 

"This is awkward" I thought to myself.

"Ahh hyung, I remember I need to buy some bread for my members. See you later" I said while hurrily escaping this feeling of mine. If there's a hole, I wish I can just jump in and hide myself from embarassment.

Cheondung hyung tilt his head to the side as he scratches his hair lightly.

"Did he just say "I Love You"? Cheondung thought to himself.

As for me, I have no idea how far I have runaway. The more I run, the more I feel worse. This heart of mine just sink more and more. It feels so heavy, it feels so dark. It felt like my heart has been swallowed deep into a black hole, my heart in. For once, I felt like my heart stop beating.

I pant heavily, trying to catch my breath but as I run, my tears start to form. Not until when I stop to catch my breath that I notice my surrounding seems familiar.

As I look up, there it stood, the building that I have fond memories.

The Trainee Studio

Not sure if I should smile or I should feel sad about but I decide to take a tour around the building.

Every corner that I walk, there I saw 3 figures running around happily. Eunji, Cheondung and I. At 1 corner is the place where we share our starbucks drink with each other but since Eunji is the only girl, she have 1 herself and both Cheondung and I share the same drink. At another corner at the staircase that lead us up to the practice room is where Eunji cry due to hectic practice schedule and both Cheondung and I came and comfort her. As I look up towards the building, on the roof, is where Cheondung and I spend the most time to ourselves, sharing our problems and our secrets, a shelter to ourselves to escape from reality. 

I smile. The memories keep flowing in, it's hard to control.

Until I look at the street, my tears starts to form.

There I saw him, bidding farewell to both of us as he leave towards Jtune Camp to make his dream come true. To be a singer. There's where we parted and there's where we hugged and say goodbye to each other.

And there's where I realize, I have fallen deeper into him.

I smile, a genuine smile as I wipe away my tears.

I look up into the sky, the sky that brighten with the stars and moon that shine towards me.

There, I hope I'll find a wishing star and pray that my love will come. 

To ease this,

Broken Heart.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnfil0S9LbA

Seo In Guk - Broken