Dear Diary

How you feel to have stuck in a love line?

I'm confused.

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"Huh?" Did I hear wrong or am I dreaming?

"I want to remember you, Cheondung." Seungho hyung said, pausing before he continue further on.

"Everyone seems surprised when I said I don't remember who you are." He continue.

I look at him, not sure whether should I feel sad or to be surprise at his words.

"But you are warm. I can feel it. You aren't someone who is back to seek revenge or something." Seungho hyung said as he turn to look at me. Our eyes met. I have mixed feeling. Not knowing where my feeling is. To feel pity on him, to feel sad for both of us or to feel touched by his words. Is complicated.

I sigh. Probably because of the sadness that filled the both of us.

"In my dream, there's someone I met" Seungho hyung said.

That pick up my interest. Who is that person?

"Who?" I asked, curious to know who that someone is.

"I don't know. All I see is a blur figure." He shrug.

"I see." I sigh, not knowing why. Maybe I was expecting that the person in his dream would be me.

"But that person seems warm, the kind of warm that I can feel in you" He said while looking at me. That kind of look that is sincere and honest.

Suddenly, I feel warm inside me. As though there's hope that fills me inside.

"Really?!" I said, surprised. If there's a single hope, I will cling on to it.

"I don't know. That' why I want to try to remember who you are. Perhaps you are the person who appeared in my dream" Seungho hyung said.

I smiled. In my heart, I sincerely pray that Seungho hyung will one day remember me.

"Hyung,let's go" I said since there's nothing to pack for him.

"Go where?" He asked.

"Ermmmm..." I said, thinking bout the places that might spark a memory inside him.

"Don't we have schedule today?" Seungho hyung asked.

I'm surprised. Does he remember that I'm part of the member of MBLAQ together with him?

"Hyung! You remember me? You remember I'm a member of MBLAQ?" I asked, surprised.

"Nope." He said, shrugging.

"Ah really....?" I said, frowning to myself.

"I've read the news yesterday, bout the fansign event. So you are a member of my group" Seungho hyung said.

I nodded. A part of me die inside. So he really don't remember me.

"So how's the fansign?" Seungho hyung asked, curious to know bout the activities going on during his absent. He sure ask alot of things regarding MBLAQ than to ask bout my injuries.

As we talk, we head out from the ward and towards the lobby.

"Great. All the A+ are eager to know bout your condition." I said, stating out the details to Seungho hyung.

"I see." Seungho hyung said, nodding to himself.

"Hyung, you should tweet something to A+ bout your condition. They must have worried you alot." I said, reassuring and to re-confirm to A+ that Seungho hyung is well now.

"Really? I'll do it later then" He said.

I smile.

As we head towards the lift, he noticed something that make me blush red on my cheek. My heart suddenly feel warm and I feel excited hearing this.

"So how's your injury? Are you okay?" Seungho hyung asked.

I blushed.

"Ah? I err.. I'm fine hyung, don't worry" I said.

Seungho hyung nodded.

The bell ring and the lift door opened. We both step into the lift but we didn't talk much inside.

"Oh ya, hyung." I said, remembering something that I should say to Seungho hyung. 

He look at me, curiously to what I want to say.

"The day after tomorrow, we have performance in Korean Music Wave in Incheon." I said, reminding him bout our next activities.

"Okay." Seungho hyung nodded.

As we reached ground floor, the lift door opened and I usher him towards the back door.

"Why aren't we taking the main gate?" Seungho hyung asked, curiously.

"Kevin Manager said  we should take the back door since there's group of A+ waiting outside. Is safer this way since you are still recovering from your injury." I said.

"Ohh..." Seungho hyung said as we walk towards the back door.

"So where are we going?" Seungho hyung asked, feeling unsure where are we heading to.

"Erm... how bout there?" 

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"Hmm, I wonder did Hoya oppa confessed yesterday?" I thought to myself as I stare at my handphone.

"Eunji ya, we need to go to the practice room soon. Get ready ya" Bomi said across the room in our dorm.

"Ye!" I shouted back to her.

Feeling curious and wanting to know the answer, I dialed Hoya Oppa's number on my handphone.

The phone ring Du Du, Du Du, Du Du, but my heart just feel anxious, worried and excited at the same time. Lots of questions just filled my thought.

"Did Hoya oppa confess?"

"Did Cheondung oppa accept?"

"What if Hoya Oppa got rejected?"

"Where is he now?'

Du Du, Du Du, Du Du, the phone keep ringing.

"Aishhhhh why is he not picking up the phone?" I said, frustrated and annoyed that he is not picking up my call.

Then suddenly, I heard someone talking on the other end of the call.

"Yeoboseyo?" The caller said.

"Oh Hoya oppa! Is me, Eunji ya" I said, replying him.

"Oh Eunji ya. What's up? Why suddenly call me out of the blue?" Hoya said.

"Erm, just wondering what are you doing now heh...." I said, giving some excuses.

"Oh, we just finish practicing and now resting in our dorm. Why?" Hoya asked, feeling really curious on the sudden call.

"Oh I see." I replied.

"Eunji ya, what is it?" Sensing something weird, Hoya immediately ask me bout my true intention on calling him out of the blue. Looks like nothing can escape his sharp mind.

"Oppa, did you confess yesterday?" I asked, really wanting to know the answer.

It was a 10 second silent before Hoya reply me.

"Ani." Hoya said.

"Why?" I asked. Why didn't he confess? It was such a good time to do so.

"Eunji ya, just forget everything bout it okay?" Hoya said. I was shocked to hear that from him. I guess he must have mixed feelings deep inside him. Confused, puzzled and scared of the thought of being rejected?

"Ah Oppa, I - "

"Eunji ya, I gotta go for practice. Talk to you later."

My words got cut off before I can finish it.

"Oppa? Oppa?!" I said, almost shouted at the phone.

Du Du, Du Du, Du Du.

"Aishhhhhhh!" I stare at the phone before I hang up the call.

"I wonder how oppa is now" I thought to myself, worried bout Hoya oppa condition.

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Dear Diary,

Can I erase you in my mind?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMwqMcn2uus

I was lying down on the bed as I hang up Eunji's call on the phone, the thoughts of Cheondung came into my mind.

There, beside me, was a photo frame laid on the bed.

I took up the photoframe and stare upon it.

It was our childhood photo, the one and only where Eunji, Cheondung and I was seen taking photo together. Arms on each shoulder. Cheondung was standing in the middle linking his arms on Eunji's shoulder and mine.

I gently brushes the photoframe, recalling our memories together.

"Hyung......"

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MBLAQ - Scribble