Dear Diary,

Is my decision wise?

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That night, I couldn't sleep. I grinned and frowned at the same time, greeting the darkness around me as I lied down on my bed. I smiled widely, remembering the event that happened just a while ago. 

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"H-hyung, what are you talking about?" He stuttered a little as he was caught off guard at my unexpected words. I was surprised myself too. 

"Is that really the words that came out from my own mouth?" I thought to myself as I couldn't even believed it myself.

"I...I just want to stop hurting you." I said softly but I could see that his expression changed. It wasn't suppose to be like this. Those words must had slipped from my mouth. For once, I thought I could make him happy.

"I-I mean... Let's try!" I said. I sounded sad at first but as I thought about it, I've decided to give it a go. 

"Try? Try what?" Hoya said as his eyes grew wider, staring at me. For once, I thought he looked cute. How did I not able to recognize this?

"Let's be lover" I said firmly. I had no idea where I got my courage but had I thought it carefully?

"Huh?" Hoya obviously looked anxious right now. I could see he started to become fidgety. He scratched his head for God-knows how many times it is.

I chuckled a little. It was the first time I saw him like this. Somehow, my heart calmed down a little. I started to relax. Without knewing what I'm doing, I stretched out my hand and held his. I smiled as my eyes met his. His mouth shaped to an "O", unable to grasp what was happening. I'm sure he was surprised. His cheeks turned pinkish red. I could see that he's blushing. This is the first time I ever saw him blushing. Why didn't I find him this cute before? I wondered. Hoya scratched the back of his head again but his expression changed. He smiled this time. A big grin was painted on his face. He seriously looked so cute being all embarassed and what not.

I held his hand tightly into mine as I pulled him off to a walk as everyone who passes by us saw everything, especially the fangirls were shouting crazily and some, not knowing what had happened, frowned their heads and shouted:

"Oppa! What are you doing?!?!" 

"Aren't you with Dongwoo?!"

"Cheondung oppa! Don't you love Seungho oppa anymore?!"

Those words strucked me. I didn't show it out but I was deeply surprised by her words.

"Seungho. Seungho hyung. Have I already forgotten about it?" I thought to myself. The hand that was on mine, felt so warm. Could I had forgotten about him? Could I had mixed him up with Seungho hyung?

I thought of letting go his hand instantly but that might hurt Hoya even more. I could see his face blushed. I couldn't let myself do it. I couldn't hurt him anymore than what I had done to him. He seems so happy. 

Suddenly, lucky or not, our managers came at the right timing with cameras, camcorder, wires, you name it. One of the staff, I assumed he was Hoya's stylist who dressed in black and wore a hat walked toward us with a director board on his hand. He shouted before we even realize what had happened.

"CUT! Good Job! You both can let go your hand. We are done with the filming. Now, all of you can go home!" 

Everyone clapped cheerfully and shouted for joy that the filming had came to an end. The both of us, still staring blankly at the "director" as he walked toward us and whispered to both of us.

"Let go of your hands. The fans is watching." 

We quickly let go of our hand and one of my stylist came to talk with me. 

"Doongie. You have big problems now. Go inside the car, Kevin Manager is waiting for you" She said as she pointed to the black van just across the road. I wasn't sure what had happened but I obey her words. I waved to Hoya and said that I would call him once I returned home and he just nodded. I'm sure he was as confused as I am.

I jogged towards the car and as I opened the door, I saw Kevin Manager was sitting in the car with his arms crossed, staring straight at me. 

"This won't be good" I thought to myself. I'm right. Whenever I saw him with his eyes burned furiously, I knew something is wrong. I gently closed the door behind me and sit obediently beside him.

"Cheondung! What are you doing?!" Kevin Manager shouted at me. I can only dug my head down as I continued to listen to his scolding.

"Why are you holding hands with Hoya?"

"Don't you know your fans ship you with Seungho?"

"Aren't you forgetting someone?"

"Make sure there's no next time!"

That didn't matter much as my heart and my mind already filled with doubts. Now here I am, half grinning, half frowning to myself as I landed on my bed, arms and legs spread wide. I smiled widely, remembering the event that happened just a while ago but as I turned my head, all I saw is my memories with him. Now that I had notice, my room full with memories with him. 

"Did I.... make the wise decision?" I thought to myself but all I could come out is an excuse to heal my doubt. Now that I thought about it, I wondered what's Seungho hyung is doing now.

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"Would you like to come in?" Uee offered her hospitality to me. I was taken aback, not knowing what should I reply her but I could see she chuckled abit.

"Don't worry. You've helped me when I tripped and dislocate my ankle and you are kind enough to send me back home. I just want to repay your kindness." She said, unlocking the door in front of her.

"Err, thanks for your offer but I need to go." I said before I bow to her and tried to leave the place.

"Come oppa, it won't take you long, just a cup of coffee only" Uee said as she gave a smile to me. Her smiles killed my heart. 

"Can a gentleman, like me, reject a woman's offer?" I thought to myself. Besides, is just a cup of coffee, it won't hurt anyway. I nodded to her and took my steps into her room. 

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