Dear Diary,

Have you ever felt being so lonely?

Like the world is gone and you are alone in nowhere....

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In The Hospital

"So how are you feeling now? Better?" The nurse asked, in concern over his health. Seems like she's in charge of taking care of him.

I examine her nametag. Shin Bong Sun.

"Oh? Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks for taking care of me,noona" I said politely but with gratitude as well since she's been taking good care of me all these while.

"Gwenchana. Is my job anyway." She said with a smile on her face.

I smiled to her in return.

The door opened suddenly and two figures step into the room.

"Seungho ya, Aigooo.... Are you okay? Anywhere hurt?" The elderly woman examine me everywhere with tears flowing down from her cheek while the other guy with his hands in the pocket scanning through me from head to toe.

"Hyung, Gwenchana?" He asked, concern over me as well.

I know this 2 person. The one who examine me from head to toe is my beloved mother that I love very much and another person standing there is my brother whom I take care of very much.

"Oh, I'm okay. Just some headache on my head." I said while touching my bandaged head. It hurts when I touch it and it even hurt more when I try to think or remember something.

"What happened to him?" My brother asked the nurse.

"Apparently he got into an accident with someone and hurt his head. Nothing major really. He can discharge after tomorrow" Bong Sun noona said, reassuring them that I am fine. Well, not really fully fine I mean.

"Ahh, really? Thanks God. Thanks God..." My mom finally smile. A relieve smile.

"Omma, don't worry. I'm fine." I said while patted her on her shoulder.

She nodded.

I take a look at my brother who is scanning around the room, looks like he seems to be finding something, or someone but I don't quite catch what he's doing.

He then look at me in my face. I was puzzled.

"Hyung, where's Sang Hyun?" He asked, curiously.

"Sang Hyun?" I asked, not knowing who is him at all. Both of them were surprised.

"Hyung, you don't know who is Sang Hyun?" He asked in surprise. I shake my head while looking at him blankly.

My mother was shocked too at my answer.

"Cheondung. Don't you know him? " My mother asked me this time but still, I give the same answer.

Both of them totally in shock right now.

"A-Ah.. Nurse, what's wrong with him?" My mother asked, panicked this time.

"Ah.. Apparently his brain got damage and he seems to lost all the memories of this person, Cheondung was it?" Bong Sun noona said.

"Well, I gotta go. I still got other patient to attend to." She said while looking at me.

"You, rest well ya! Call me if you need anything." She said.

I nodded and then she smile before she leave the room. I look back at my mother and my brother. Both of them look sad.

"What?" I asked.

"Hyung, you really don't know who is Cheondung?" My brother asked me again. He look really desperate at some point but I can't figure out why.

"Who is Cheondung anyway?" I said, feeling a little frustrated.

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On the other hand....

I woke up by the sound of someone shouting at me downstairs but I can't seems to make out the words. Slowly, I opened my eyes one by one, trying to adjust my sight to the surrounding darkness. On my hand, I was hugging tightly a photo frame. A picture of both Seungho hyung and I.

Apparently, I cried myself to sleep on the desk with a photo frame stucked to me.

I wipe my eyes with my arms while blinking several times to adjust to the darkness.

"Cheondung a! Come down for dinner!!" Sandara Noona shouted.

"Oh!" I shouted back at her and then everything quiet down.

I take a look at the photo frame. Gently brushes the frame and I sigh deeply before I put it away onto the desk and hurried down to the kitchen.

I took a sit beside my noona but I don't seems to have any appetite to eat. I swirl and swirl the soup with my spoon.

"Gae Doong a, why are you not eating?" Noona asked me in concern.

"Oh.. Ummm..." I replied.

"You don't have appetite, do you?" My mother asked me. 

I nodded.

"Hyun, you have to eat something or else you won't recover fast. Later omma cut some fruits for you to eat k?" She said concerning over my health. Her tone seems sad.

I nodded.

"Ah, Dara. Tomorrow follow omma to the church to pray for Hyunnie for fast recovery. I heard that this church provides miracle healing if you pray sincerely." My mother said. 

I quickly look up to her.

"Ne." Dara noona replied while scooping up some rice and put it into .

"Omma, where is this church?" I asked, desperately.

"Oh? Erm, is in Gangnam. You will see it once you reach there. Is a big church with a red cross on top. Why?" My mother said while asking curiously.

"Oh? Erm... Nothing." I replied.

"Faster finish your food okay?" My mother said.

I nodded.

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"Ah Kevin. Is Seungho okay? Will he be able to attend the fansign tomorrow?" JTC CEO asked Kevin manager over the phone call.

"Ah I guess no. He's okay for now but doctor said he will only be able to discharge after tomorrow. " Kevin said.

"Ah really...?" CEO said.

"CEO, is it alright to postpone the fansign tomorrow until Seungho is better?" Kevin asked.

"I'm afraid no. Notice had already posted up. We can't simply change the date or else there may be ruckus." CEO said.

"I see." Kevin replied.

"The fansign will go on but we will update fans with Seungho condition. I'll leave that to you." CEO said.

"Yes. I'll take care of it then." Kevin replied before the CEO hang out.

Kevin Manager sighed.

"I hope Seungho will recover fast." He said.

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Dear Diary,

What will you do if your lover forgets you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgpsOsWI0Gs

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the church, looking up at the statue of Jesus Christ hanging on the cross in front of me. A mother Mary stained glass was seen behind the statue, carrying a childborn. It must be Jesus when He is born in a manger.

I look up at the cross with a sad look, sighing to myself.

Many thoughts had filled my mind. I'm confused. I'm not sure what am I suppose to do. I feel lost.

"Lord, I heard that you heal people who are heart-broken" I said.

"I feel lost, Lord. I feel guilty" I sigh.

"I feel like I've lost a strong-hold in me, Lord. A person whom I trust and loved seems so far away from me." 

"All the memories I have with him is so vivid in my mind. All the sweet memories that I have with him. But now...." I said.

"He seems to be so far... My hand try to reach out to him, he move further away.. I don't know anymore, Lord"

"It hurts my heart. My pain here. I can feel it." I gently touched my heart. I feel my heartbeat, I feel the pain inside of me.

"Lord, forgive me. If I have listen to him, none of this will happened." Tears started to form in my eyes.

"If I don't drink and drive, none of this will happened." I blame myself.

"If I... If I..." I cried.

"Lord, please, please let him recover." I said.

" I can't stand losing him. It feels like I lose my world. I find it hard to breathe without him. He meant everything to me" 

"Please, Lord. Help him... remember me..." I said, pleading.

"Please..."

There, again, I cry myself out in pain.

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Touch Love - Yoon Mi Rae.