Dear Diary,

I don't know what I really feel right now,

Somehow, I just feel,

I need to do something about it.

Will this decision,

be wise?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, after I heard Hoya's confession, I was stunned. I was looking up at the stars, and a thought just came in. Without hesitation, I stood up, and, with sudden impulse, I rushed towards where Hoya direction is. In my heart, I was not feeling anything but pain. Pain from running too fast with my heart beating anxiously. Pain from hurting my one and only best friend. Pain from being clueless all these time. I was not thinking anything but Hoya and Hoya alone was in my mind. I ran, I sprinted, I sped, I fall, I stood up and I ran again, praying that I would be able to find him.

I had no idea where I'm heading to. All I ever wanted is to find him and told him something. I have no idea what that "something" is until I met him but all I could see is headlights and shoplots. I searched left and right, up and down, every corner and every valley but yet, there's no sign of him. Not even his shadow. I panted heavily. I felt like my heart gonna burst soon with all the bloods pumping out from my heart. I thought of giving up and returned home but as I turned around, there, I saw a familiar figure standing before me.

"Hoya..." I said. I had no idea what had happened to my body as there's a sudden wave gushes out, filling my eyes with tears.

"Hyung, what are you doing here?" He asked while looking straight at me as I walked towards him with my hand clenched into a tight fist but as I reached to where he is, my tears started to flow down my cheeks.

He was surprised, not knowing what to do, he could only look at me blankly. Thoughts must had filled his mind. Silent filled the air.

"Hyung, what's wrong? Are you injured or something?" He finally broke the silence as he examined my face and everywhere.

I looked at him straight to his eyes but the tears just blurred my vision. I wiped it away with my sleeves before I answered him.

"I thought I might not be able to see you anymore." I said as my voice drowned by my constant sobbing.

"What you mean?" Hoya was confused with my words. 

There were people passing by, mumbling to themselves as they eyed us curiously but I didn't care much. My focus is on him.

"I thought we might not be friends anymore.." I said, frightened by the thought of his confession that it might left a scar on both of us but his answer surprised me.

"Silly. Of course not! Aren't we best friend? Even if we aren't lovers, we are still friends. Best of friends" Hoya said with a smile on his face but I can see that his eyes were red. I guess he did cry himself a little.

"I'm sorry, Hoya..." I said almost in a whispery voice.

"Is okay hyung." Hoya replied as he put his hands on my shoulder to reassure me that everything was fine.

I have no idea what I am doing. It just came out suddenly without me noticing it. That's the words I'm about to say.

"Hoya, will you accept me?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------