I woke up and lay on a chest. If I looked up I saw it was Changjo's one. I looked around. Catha's balcony.
My head hurt a bit and I stood up. Changjo woke up and he just looked to me.
Before I could say something he said “Good Morning.”
I felt like in 7^th heaven.
He also stood up and we met Catha inside. She looked a bit confused. I hugged her “We will go home. I'm coming later again. Don't worry.”
She nodded.

We walked home next to next and nobody said something. It was a bit awkward between us.
“Changjo...” I started but he broke in “Yeah you are right. We should forget the last night. It was so damn stupid from me … to kiss you. You love L.Joe and I love Eunmi. It happened because we were drunk. Let not tell them. Just this secret will stay here in California. This is what you want to say, don't you?”
I looked up. My world broke in and my eyes became wet.
“yeah... this was I wanted to say.” I finally said.
This hurt. “Changjo... we shouldn't have any contact if we are back in Seoul. I can't act like nothing happened. Don't worry, I won't tell L.Joe or Eunmi … but I can't” I quickly walked into my room. We finally entered the apartment.
I lay in my bed. I shed tears a lot of tears.
I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth, put new make up on.
“I will go to Catha...” I said if I walked out of my room. Changjo watched TV.
He looked to me. I looked sad I know and it seemed he saw this.
So he stood up walked to me. I turned my head so I didn't need to look into his eyes. The eyes I lost myself last night.
“Juah....” he started but I didn't turn my head. He grabbed my shoulder and dragged me to him. “Look to me Juah.. jebal.”
It was hard not to cry but I got it. I turned my head and looked into this face.
It was really hard, I wanted to shed tears but he touched my cheek so it was harder.
“Let me go...” I said quickly. But he didn't listen to me. He hugged me tightly for a while.
I said again “Let me go... I won't start to cry.”
My eyes were wet “Changjo jebal.”
“Juah... I love you.” he said and I looked quickly up.
“Don't lie...” I just said “Let me go... never talk to me again. Just leave me.”
But he said “The last night was great...”
I shook my head “It was like you said wrong.”
Actually I wanted to kiss him, feel his soft lips.
Changjo just looked me “Jeongmal saranghae. But I love her too. I love Eunmi I can't break up with her. And I can't loose your friendship.”
Then his face came closer and he kissed me.
I felt how tears rolled over my face “Stop this” I said whined.
But he didn't but then he stopped and hugged me just “I can't break up with one of you. I need both in my life.”
“You lost me. We can't be friends. But no worry, you will not loose Eunmi.” I said and wiped the tears from my cheek.
“Juah...” he said. I just shook my head “No.. you lost me. You shouldn't kiss me if you love someone else. If I came back and saw you... I thought we could finally try a relationship but you have Eunmi. Just go to her and forget me.”

“Catha...” I tried to smile if she opened the door. She looked worried “What happened last night?”
I looked to her and couldn't hold my tears longer back. “He kissed me.. the last night were perfect. Just him and me... but today.. he told me we can't go on. He won't break up with his girlfriend... So I broke up our friendship. I feel so damn stupid that I really thought he could love me.”
Catha just hugged me. “You are back in Korea and your life gets complicated. Can't you just come back? I miss you... I really miss you, we all do. Even Joe.”
I looked to her “Maybe.. I will come back.”
She just nodded “When will your flight start?”
I looked at the clock “In 5 hours … I should go.. pack luggage. Will you drive with Kevin us to the airport?”
She nodded and walked me to the door.

 

If I entered my own apartment I couldn't see Changjo. And I was thankful for that.
“How could he really think I will be longer his friend...” I thought.
I packed my things and the door got open. I didn't turn. It could only be one person. Changjo.
And yeah it was him, he said “Juah.. mianhae.”
I didn't turn or reply.
He entered the room and closed the door. “Juah... mianhae.”
I replied “You already said this.”
I didn't turn and felt his hand on my shoulder. “Changjo. GO. Just go. I won't see you again.”
But he didn't move.
After a while he said “I will break up with Eunmi.”
I turned suddenly “No... don't do that. It's okay if we are no friends. The last 3 years were the same. No contact and no meetings.”
“But I can't do that anymore. I want you.” he said. Then he hugged me “Be mine.”
“I want him... just him...” I thought. So I finally said “Okay... but break up with her. I won't cheat on them like we already did.”
Changjo nodded and kissed my cheek.

At the airport Catha hugged me tightly “I will miss you Juah... Come back quickly.” I nodded “I try my best. Next time you and Kevin will come. And even this is the baddest idea ever... ask Joe to come with you. He didn't come here... I miss him... we were such good friends.”
Catha nodded and Kevin hugged me.

In the plane I looked to Changjo and smiled. He just smiled to me and kissed my cheek.

Changjo grabbed my hand if we walked out of the plane. I looked up and smiled. My world was perfect for a moment. But just a moment.
We grabbed our luggage and walked into the entrance hall around the corner. If we looked around we saw L.Joe waiting for us. Changjo let go my hand. Then next to L.Joe we suddenly saw Eunmi.
Changjo didn't just look once to me and started to ran to his girlfriend.
Actually this hurt.
I walked to L.Joe who ran to me “I missed you...” I said.
L.Joe hugged me and I saw to Eunmi and Changjo. They hugged tightly and kissed each other.
Then I looked back to L.Joe and hugged him tightly “I have to say sorry...”
L.Joe looked confused to me “Why?”
I smiled sad “You were right. He and me can't be longer friends. I understood this weekend.”
L.Joe hugged me “Oh I'm so sorry Juah..” “Nae Oppa..” I just said.

In the car Eunmi asked “How was your weekend?”
I looked up from my phone “It was fine. My friend was really happy if she saw me..”
Then I wrote a message to Changjo “Don't break up with her. She loves you a lot... I won't be like this. Don't break up. I will also not break up with Joe. Love Juah.”
If Changjo got the message and read I turned. He looked short to me up. His mood changed a bit and he grabbed Eunmi's hand.

“We should meet up next weekend...” Eunmi suddenly said. And I just said “Yeah... of course. This will be fun..”
L.Joe looked to me and smiled “We should go ice skating.”
I smiled to him “Babo.” and L.Joe laughed. Eunmi too but Changjo... he looked the whole time confused to me.

If Eunmi and Changjo left the car L.Joe didn't keep on driving. “What happened this weekend?”
I looked to him “Nothing...”
L.Joe looked to me “Why did you say the thing I got right?”
I looked to him and smiled “Because I felt you are the only one I love.” L.Joe nodded and drive finally.


At home I walked to my parents. I told him how Catha's birthday was... not the Changjo thing. And I walked quickly to bed. I felt so damn bad and guilty.
I got a call from Changjo “What does the message mean?” he asked.
“I saw how you look to her … how she looks at you , how L.Joe looks me. There can't be something between us. We would hurt a lot of people. Don't ask anymore.. it's wrong. And this I will say for the last time I love you Changjo. My whole life I felt something for you that I would describe as love. But I over think the idea go back to California. There are my friends. And I can forget you there...”
Before he could reply on this I took off.
I whispered “Mianhae...”

I ignored all the messages and calls he did. I ignored him while school and if I was in TOPmedia... I just ignored him. It was better for him... and me.

“Let's go to this Double Date...” L.Joe asked me for the 5^th time.
I just looked to him “No... I won't go.” The night Changjo kissed me was 5 weeks ago. I didn't act normal to him... how could I?
“Come on Juah... it will be fun.” L.Joe asked again. He wanted to the Double Date with Eunmi and Changjo.
I won't see him. Changjo.
“If you really want go...go... But without me.” I said.
L.Joe pouted and did aegyo “Yeoja Chingu... jebal.. Come with me... since you and Changjo had this weekend you changed. What happened? Tell me.. had you a fight?”
I shook my head “Nothing happened. Please stop asking, okay? I will come with you to this date.”
L.Joe nodded and kissed my cheek “Okay.”

In the evening L.Joe took my from home and we walked to a little Cafe where we met Changjo and Eunmi. Changjo's eyes got bigger if he saw me “Oh you really came?”
I just nodded “Nae..”
Eunmi smiled “That is great... I wondered why you won't come.” “If she would know what Changjo did.. she would hate me” I thought.
I smiled kind to her.
L.Joe went to the bar for an order and Eunmi walked to the toilet. So just Changjo and me sat at the table.
He started “Why did you come? I thought you won't do things with me?”
I didn't look up “L.Joe Oppa wanted me coming. It has nothing to do with you. Don't think like this.”
Changjo said sad “Bogosipeo. Juah... let's be friends if you don't like to date me.”
I looked up “No... it breaks me already my heart to sit here. I can't be your friend. And... I will go back to California.”
He asked “Does L.Joe know” but I shook just me head “I will tell him before I go. I can't break his heart. I will ask him to come with me. But I'm sure he will not. He will stay here, being Trainee and becoming an Idol. His biggest wish. Don't tell him I will do.”
Changjo looked down “What is about me?”
I looked up “You?” He nodded “You broke my heart with our last call. I miss you... I want to hug you not seing you kissing L.Joe.”
I just said cold “Don't act stupid. You have Eunmi at your side.”
At this time L.Joe came back and kissed my cheek. I smiled to him “We should go soon ice skating. It was really fun.”
L.Joe nodded “This is what we do tonight...” I looked to him “Tonight?”
L.Joe smirked “Our plan is going ice skating by night under stars... this romatic , right?”
I smiled “Yeah it is..” and Changjo said “Everything under stars is romantic.”
I looked daring to him. “Babo” I thought.

L.Joe and Eunmi went to take some skates and Changjo looked to me and grabbed my arm “I will fight for you. I'm serious.”
I shook my head “Don't do that. I will leave you.”
Changjo looked down and I walked to L.Joe who gave me a pair of skates.

This time I could drive easy with them. I had no big problems.
L.Joe hold the whole time my hand. I smiled every time if our sights met. This was the thing which had to feel right.
After a while I told L.Joe to put his phone back into his bag and not trousers it might got break.
L.Joe nodded and left me for a while.
I skated few rounds till suddenly someone grabbed my hand. I thought it would be L.Joe and if I turned I saw Changjo.
I just looked to him “Let me go..” and he let my hand go. I drove quicker and Changjo followed me.
I looked around Eunmi searched for Changjo. On the skating ring were many people. It wasn't really easy to find someone.
I wanted to drive away from him but he grabbed my arm and dragged me to him. If I turned I nearly dropped down.
I wanted to push Changjo away.
I looked aronud. L.Joe was back at the skating ring and looked for me and Eunmi still looked for Changjo.
I tried again to push Changjo but he was too strong. He just held my arm “Juah...” I shook my head “Go.... jebal go.”
He approached me and his face came closer. I wanted to push him away. I tried it but he grabbed my hands as hard as he could and I couldn't move when he did the thing I missed. His soft lips touched mine and he pushed his tongue into my mouth.
This kiss were different. It was full of desire. I abandoned myself to him and his kiss.
After a while he stopped and I looked quickly around. He stood there.

L.Joe, he stood there and watched us stunnend.

Changjo wanted me to stop but he couldn't I ran to L.Joe. “Oppa...” I shouted but he just stood there shocked “This is the reason if you came back. You kissed him already in California, didn't you? Gosh, I'm so damn stupid. From the beginning you lied.”
He turned and wanted to go but I grabbed his arm. He wrested away “Don't touch me. Damn you are a little i .”
I started to cry “Oppa... it didn't seem as it looked like.”
L.Joe looked to me “You are not serious Juah. Both of you kissed, and your tongues touched and.. gosh I don't want to know what all happened between you.”
He turned and ran. My whole cheeks were wet. Wet of my tears.
I turned and looked stunned to Changjo. He looked worried to me and someone grabbed his hand. Eunmi.
She didn't see the kiss. Thanks god.
They could stay as a couple... and I lost him. L.Joe.. I lost L.Joe. I just wanted back home. Damn what was I talking, I wanted back to the United States where my life wasn't complicated.

I hope you like this chapter full of desire.. comments in the below ;D subscirbe in the uplow...

The mood totaly went down during this chapter QwQ but... do you like it?...
What do you think about Changjo's fighting?