As soon as we went inside I excused myself to the bathroom. Kris looked concerned but didn’t manage to stop me on time. I just let go of his hand and in one swift movement hidden behind the door. I sighed deeply. My head was hurting from all memories. It was like accumulation of all migraines I have ever had in my life – painful and destructive.

I moved towards the mirror and moved my hands under the cold water. I wasn’t sure myself what did I try to gain from it, maybe only calm down a bit. Little I know someone followed me inside and now was watching me while standing quietly. 

• Ashley? – I heard behind me.

I knew this voice, the voice that came back to me tonight. He should be the past, something that meant to stay hidden behind memory loss. I turned around and looked at his face.

• I don’t know where to start – he whispered looking a bit desperate. – Are you really with Kris?
• What are you doing in the girls bathroom? – I tried to act like nothing has happened.
• I wanted to talk to you… - he continued a bit confused.

As much as I was in pain, angry, devastated and wasn’t able to realize how I felt now, when I knew the truth, I tried my best to pretend, like I still don’t remember. It may have been out of fear, or maybe I tried to buy some more time. Dealing with the situation now, wasn’t an option.

• About? – I responded and turned around towards the mirror.
• About what happened? About you and me – he answered – I wanted to apologize.
• I am not sure what are you talking about – I lied.  – I am not sure if you know but I don’t remember anything that happened after our trip to Spain.
• Really?  - he asked looking suspicious but sad.
• Yes. And don’t worry in this case, there is no need to apologize – I forced a smile. – If you excuse me now, my boyfriend is waiting for me.

I walked past Suho pretending I didn’t care. But now when I remembered the kiss, all the feelings it was harder that I could imagine. I also felt betrayed by him. He left me when I was in hospital. Looks like I wasn’t worth him at all.

I found Kris waiting for me near the bar. His eyebrows shown concern as soon as he looked at me.

• Is everything ok? – he asked.
• You know recently this is the question you I hear the most? – I smiled. I was tired and overwhelmed but I made a promise to Kris. He needed me tonight and I had to pull myself together.
• Are you angry at me, that I didn’t tell you? Do you wish to go home? Maybe you should stay away from all that. I was stupid.
• Kris just be quiet – I put my finger on his lips to shut him up.  -  I am fine. Anyway what else I need to know about tonight?
• We supposed to go to after party. But you don’t have to. I can tell you are not well. I will excuse you in front of reporters – he stated.
• No, no I am ok. Just had a little headache before, but I am fine – I added.
• Are you sure? – he wasn’t convinced.
• Yes – I said and pulled him by his hand towards entrance to the main theatre.

After the movie I came out totally shocked by how amazing Yi Fan was actually at acting. It didn’t cross my mind before he might be good, even so I hoped at least his fans will prise him. After how much pain he went through recently, some good words were needed. I need to say I felt very comfortable cuddling to his arm while we were living. I ignored my worries and fact that we have been followed by Exo. I knew that at some point of the night we will have to face them. I was still planning however of holding onto my amnesia. But I was worried about person beside me. I knew he missed them. Did  they hate him?

I got very stressed when we arrived in the hall entrance of After Party. There have been loads of reporters and there was no way of avoiding them. I practice what I supposed to say as we knew possible questions. But I wasn’t very good at being the centre of attention.

Flashed started to come left and right and I got scared that my brain will not survive this. The migraine was still there, digging holes in my brain. Even so I had to endure it. Wasn’t that what idols faced in every day life? Didn’t they smile when they have been injured or in extreme pain? I smiled turning my head left and right, looking from time to time at my fake boyfriend and repeating his moves.

-So does the pretty lady dare to tell us how did you two meet – one reporter on my left asked.

I felt suddenly even more uncomfortable. I knew they will be interested in our relationship. I had prepared a perfect lie about sudden love but I was clearly struggling now, when the question was asked.

• Actually – Kris started  - it was back when I was part of the group – he stated simply, giving me this “it’s ok” look.  – She was out interpreter.

I was standing there frozen. He was telling the truth not the version I was told to say.

• We didn’t get on very well – he continued.  – I am pretty sure she hated me.

At this point there was slight giggle. I was observing him.

• You need to forgive Ashley, she is still a bit shy around reporters. For someone who was just a normal person months ago, it’s not easy.  – he smiled and all reporters were listening to him. From time to time there have been some flashes. But mostly people got too interested in his story. – I think that what attracted me, you know. Also she is a very honest person.

I don’t know where my courage suddenly came from but I wanted to say something too.

• Kris – I said slowly shocking everyone around me – was this very confident person. He confused me a lot but I knew he had a warm heart. – Truth is he is like my best friend I can count on. He stayed with me and supported me when I needed it the most. I cannot imagine my life without him anymore.

I stood there talking and looking at Wu Yi Fan’s eyes. What I said was only truth. I realized how much he has done for me. He was the one who never left me and I seriously would miss him if I couldn’t see him anymore. I think I also shocked the subject of my conversation with reporter because I felt a light touch on my hand. His eyes were smiling while he moved closer to me and in front of everybody, gave me a kiss on the forehead.

• How cute – came from all around.

Time stopped back then. The feeling of safety in this bizarre situation calmed me down.

• If you excuse us now – said Kris waking me up – we have to go.

We moved towards the sound of music while reporters run towards the nest guest.

• You did well – said Yi Fan when we moved away.

I wanted to tell him, that it was the truth. But would he believe me? At the end our relationship was fake. We may have been friends but I shouldn’t get attached to the feeling of being by his side.

• You too – I replied.
• Kris? – someone asked suddenly from behind.

We both turned around just to see Xiumin standing totally alone.

• How are you? – he asked politely. – Ash…I… - he started.

I wasn’t sure how to feel. It wasn’t his fault that things turned the way they did. And I know he was checking on me now and then.

• No hard feelings. I don’t remember much anyway. – I found myself saying.
• Really? – he asked unsure.
• Yes .
• I see you are actually together. So all rumours were correct…I knew that he has a soft heart for you – Xiumin said earning a dirty look from my fake boyfriend.

Just then in the vision appeared someone else. It was Suho. He didn’t seem to be happy seeing me with the ex Exo member. He looked at our entwined fingers and there was something in his eyes.  He didn’t stop however for long. After one strange look at us, he walked passed and said to Kris:

• I will get her back.

I was angry. How dare he treat me like I have nothing to say in this case? Whatever my feelings for him were, he had no right at all. It supposed to be my decision, my life. I didn’t know what to do. I just let my emotions to take over me.

• Don’t you think I have something to say about that? – I hissed. – I think you are wrong here. I am with Kris even if you do not like that.
• You just say that because you don’t remember me, but I will show you how much I love you – he said.

He had no idea. Which make me even more frustrated.

• Well you will have to work hard. Because I am happy with Yi Fan – and to end my statement, I tiptoed a bit placing my lips on top of Kris.

I was scared for  moment that he will push me way and our cover will be blown, because of me. But then something strange happened. I felt strong arms around me pulling me closer. At this point I lost myself in  a kiss.