I was walking around the house nervous the whole time. Kris new that Suho kissed me. To be honest I didn’t know what to think about any of them. Well Luhan had that angel look like face but it was Suho who kind of attract me more. And I still could feel his lips on mine. I couldn’t believe I kissed one of Exo leaders twice. If any fangirls would find out, I might aswel hide for the rest of my life.

Finally someone knocked on the door. I made my way towards and opened the door. Kris stood in his own glory, tall and handsome as usual. His expression was unreadable. I gulped. He scanned my body covered with sweats and then looked into my face.

-          Gosh its still bruised  - he said his hand moved towards my face but stopped in the middle.

-          Come in  - I invited him trying to stop my voice from shaking.  – Do you want a drink?

-          Water please? – he said and sat down on my sofa.

When I brought my drink I sat next to him quietly.

-          How are you feeling? – that was last question I expected from him.

-          Better – I said.

-          Guys are asking for you. And manager hyung is a bit impatient. Boys worrying if you won’t come back soon, they will replace you – he said with cold tone.

-          Ohh – was all I managed to say. – I will call manager and tell him I am ok to go back tomorrow.

-          You know it’s always will be unsafe right? – he looked at me.

-          I know. But it’s my job – I said.

-          Is it? Or there is something else? – he raised a brow.  – You know you playing with fire? There is nothing that can come u from that – he sighed worried.  – Boys don’t understand that and they got attached.

-          I know Kris, I know there will be nothing after this summer. Anyway even Luhan thinks that. – I stated remembering what I heard that day when Suho kissed me.

-          Luhan? – he asked – He likes you… I think – he said. It made me think, why he said I think. – But we both know there is another person who also likes you.

I knew where that talk is going and I just wanted to hide.

-          Yes I have seen you both – my hands started to sweat. – I won’t tell. But sort your feelings out. To many people can get hurt, including you. You see what happened already just because you are around us.  – This time his hand touched my face and I startled moving away quickly. – Anyway it will be safer if you either leave the job or stay in distance.

That hurt me badly. How could I? I didn’t want to leave the job and I liked guys. I know it wasn’t safe for me but still, how he could say that to me.

-          You want to get rid of me don’t you – I said between anger and sadness.

-          Think what you want – he said with quiet voice, not looking at me.  – Anyway I need to go. Think about what I said.

He stood up. I was angry. How he could be nice to me one day and total idiot next? I felt tears in my eyes.

-          I won’t give you what you want Kris. I hate you! You won’t get rid of me – I shouted when he made his way towards the door. I heard something faintly in Chinese which sounded: “that what I was afraid of”.

I called manager straight after Kris left and told him I will be back next day. It was last day in England anyway so all I needed to do is take a flight with them. I missed concert and conferences as well as fanmeeting. Manager was more than happy since apparently my replacement was a crazy fangirl that started to follow boys to the toilet.

Rest of the day I spent on watching Christams movies and eating chocolate. It always helped me when I was sad or angry.

Next day I covered my bruises as much as I could with make up and made my way to the airport. It was weird to go there by myself. I met with manager who handed me my ticket.

-          You don’t know how happy I am you are back. Xiumin and Tao was so annoying. Even Sehun kept asking about you. And that other girl.. Anyway glad you are ok

I smiled at him and made my way towards section were boys were waiting. I sighed. I could see Kris from very far since he was so tall. His eyes met mine then he turned around like he didn’t see me. I moved few steps closer and got noticed by Tao. He literall run towards me.

-          Noona – he shouted and it was enough to alarm other boys. They all came to me, all apart of Kris.

-          Glad you are better – said Luhan.

-          Didn’t expect you back so quick – added Lay.

-           - Guys give her space and let her sit – I heard Suho and his eyes met mine.

His smile was so warm and welcoming, totally different than the other leader.

-          Don’t mind him – said Suho –he was in bad mood since you got attacked. I guess he was worried.

-          Worried my – I said and then turned to Luhan who hold my hand.

In this moment I wanted to tell him I heard what he said. And I wanted to tell him I kissed Joonmyeon, especially when I noticed sadness in Suho’s face when he noticed our hands. I pulled my hand out and sat down on the chair. Luhan was a bit shocked but kept smiling at me. I sighed. Everyone surrounded me asking the same questions about my health and about the girls.

At some moment I got tired so I got up and excused myself. I moved towards window and looked at the planes that were outside. Someone came and put arms around me.

-          Are you sure everything is ok? – It was Lulu whispering in my ear.

-          Yes thank you – I said. I liked being in his arms but somehow it wasn’t as nice as Suho kissing me.  – Luhan… I don’t want anyone to have broken heart – I said.

-          What do you mean – he sounded confused.

-          I heard you – I said, still looking outside. – I know what you said that day about people being heartbroken.

His body stiffen.

-          But you know I like you right? – he said. – I was stupid and insecure. I didn’t mean it.

It almost made me laugh. Him, insecure?

-          I know there will be a day we will separate but I want to enjoy your company while yyou here.

-          Luhan – I sighed. – Don’t. Let’s just be friends.

He let go of me, unsure how to react.

-          Why? Because of my words?  - he was hurt.

-          Because your words were true.

-          No. – he said. I looked at him. he was still smiling. Luhan moved closer, inches from my face. – I don’t want to. Let’s just see what happen.

And with that he placed a soft peck on my lips before turning around and disappearing. I turned back towards window. It didn’t pass five minutes when another person stood next to me.

-          He likes you a lot – said Suho.

I looked at him. His face perfect with smile plastered on his face.

-          Please don’t tell him, that I kissed you, I shouldn’t have – he said.

He was so close to me yet so far. I wanted him to hug me just like Luhan did. But he didn’t want to hurt Luhan, and me being unsure what I actually felt would be a very selfish.

-          Its not like I didn’t like it – I said.

Suho looked at me into eyes, shocked. He didn’t expect me to say anything like that.

-          I tried to tell Luhan to be friends. I am not sure if he accepted it. I am asking you that too.

Joonmyeon didn’t say anything. He just stood there and watched me. I looked around at the sound of the voice in speakers telling the boarding started. I noticed Kris far away, His eyes were judging me.

And to my lack of luck I got place in plane next to Kris.