Through the week all my main task was to follow manager and learn. I got passed Kris’s schedule and have to make sure what he needs to do, where to go. Most of the arrangement still belonged however to his manager as I was too new to be handling that much. Even so it was quite tiring running from place to place, making many phones calls and so on.

I met his fans few times too. Of course there have been the not so nice once who would comment on every details of my body or ask how non Asian girl became an assistant and girlfriend of Kris. But the still kept the distance and haven’t been aggressive. If something bad would about to happen, I still was under care of my bodyguard.

During this time my relationship with Kris was rather professional and it would have been hard to say we are a couple (even fake one). The tables turned when on Friday I was informed about attending the movie premiere and after party. This time not as an assistant but obviously his girlfriend. I can’t say I wasn’t terrified. I couldn’t imagine myself on red carpet with actors and famous people. But at the end I stopped being just a normal girl when I agreed on the deal.

Night before the party I didn’t sleep very well. I kept having the same nightmare when I was beaten up by a crowd of girls. I tried to run and screamed. And then something happen.  I woken up when someone touched my face. Before me sat no other than Kris.

• Are you ok Ash? – he asked gently.

I didn’t want to know how he got to my room during the name. I was tired and all these dreams worn me out. My eyes were puffed signalling I have been crying in my sleep. All I did that time was lean in into Kris arms, like my life depended on it.

• Ashley what happened? I heard you scream and… - On of his hands started to pat me on my back like a child. It was soothing, something that made me feel safe.
• Just had a bad dream again – I whispered. –I am sorry.
• Why are you sorry silly?  You cannot control it. Maybe you are to stressed? Maybe you shouldn’t attend tomorrow?
• No, no, I am fine – I lied. I couldn’t do that to him. We agreed I will be his girlfriend. It seemed to work well for him and ok for me since we were actually friends.

I didn’t want to stay alone for the night at all. I wouldn’t bare another nightmare if I have to be on the show tomorrow.

• Kris, can you stay with me tonight? – I asked carefully.

He seemed taken aback by my question, still keeping me in his arms.

• Sure – he said gently.

I let go of him and lie down on the bed. Kris positioned himself next to me on the side so we have been facing each other. His face was beautiful in a dim light. I closed my eyes and last think I remembered was a hand softly my hair.

When I have woken up YiFan was already gone to prepare. I had to go shopping for the dress with my bodyguard and one of stylist to ensure I have suitable dress. We went to one of the most expensive stores where pretty much everything was designed by famous people. I hesitated a bit and stood outside. My stylist however didn’t have any problem with marching in and starting to choose some long and short dresses. When I finally convinced myself I can do it, someone catch my arm.

At this point my bodyguard jumped towards the intruder and the person started to apologize chaotically.

• Wait – I said to my protector.  The person who stopped me was a girl, age under 18 for sure.   I couldn’t tell, if she was actually Chinese.
• Unnie, I am sory – she said which confirmed my suspicion.
• Yes? – I asked waving my hand to security to let the poor girl go.
• Unnie, I am sorry to bother you – she said shyly. You are Kris’s girlfriend right?
• Uhmm, yes – I replied unsure. – Can I help you somehow?
• Could you kindly pass it to him? – and then I noticed a little gift bag and a pile of letters.- I supposed to give to him during premiere but I am scared I won’t be able to and then I noticed you here, so I thought  this might be a chance.

She looked at me with pleading eyes. I could tell she was sure I refuse. I wanted to ask how long she was carrying the bag around for, since the premiere not supposed to start till the evening. But instead I smiled. It was actually sweet. I took a bag from her hands.

• Sure – I said. – Would you like me to tell him something also? – I asked
• No unnie, thank you – she smiled fully. – I won’t be disturbing you now. Thank you.
• I will see you at the premiere  - I said for a goodbye.

It was actually very nice. My first open encounter with a Kris, the actor,  fan and she appeared to be gentle person.

Security guard gave me that “why would you” look but what could I do? I used to like some groups. I knew how important it was for this girl and also it seems like the letters where from quite few people.

I walked into the store carrying a bag ready to try whatever the stylist will throw at me. I definitely tried around 50 different dresses. From black to white, from long to short, from vintage to brand new looks. And then at the end stylist pulled out long dark blue dress. When I tried it on and looked at it in the mirror I felt like I wasn’t good enough for the dress. I didn’t even want to know how much it cost. Kris of course wouldn’t let me pay for it at all.

After we chose the dress we came back to the hotel where my hair stylist as well as make up artist, were waiting. Sitting on the chair for few hours to get ready seemed like too much for me. My hairstyle to hours, they put orange highlights to it, to warm up look and made it into waves.  

By the time I was fully ready it was time to go. Car was already waiting outside. Kris supposed to come in any time so we can finally go.

I was shaking a bit, scared. I looked at myself in the mirror, admiring stylists work.

• You look beautiful – I heard behind me.
• Thank you Kris – I said. There was no need to turn my head around, I knew it was him.
• Ready?
• Yes – I said not sure how big the lie was.

When we arrived and I noticed all the reporters outside I felt sick. It was like my body wasn’t mine any more.

• You look pale – Kris said – If you really can’t do it, you can go home. I will think of something – he put his hand on my to ensure me he is honest.
• No I am fine, let’s go.

And that was it. After that all I could see was flashes everywhere. It was overwhelming. I smiled how I have been told to before but wasn’t sure in which direction I should look. When I felt Kris’s arm around my shoulder I felt a bit better. He was keeping me steadily in line.

We were moving forward. People where shouting Kris name from left and right and I was so confused. I am sure my doctor wouldn’t approved of all that, but it was too late.  Then suddenly crowd started to shout different names that sounded familiar to me. Me and Kris turned around at the sound. From the black van that stopped came out 5 boys. And behind, from another van, many others. I remembered them from the beginning of accident. I stared how they have been coming closer.

• Ashley I am sorry I didn’t tell you. – Kris’s worried voice sounded somehow dim.

Before my eyes I saw Exo, the boys that started the madness. And last that came forward was no other than Suho. At this point my brain got overloaded and my head started to hurt. Memories has been flooding into me like a bullets. Suddenly I remember the kiss with Suho and all sweet words from Luhan. And also what I remembered – the accident.

I couldn’t stand any longer straight. Junmyeon was looking directly at me, then he shifted towards Kris. Was this their first encounter after he left?

My head was still hurting and I think Kris could tell something wasn’t right.

• We should go.

I looked at Suho once again. His face seemed in pain. And I suddenly felt so weak. But all I did then, instead of turning my head and walking away, was to shift my own hand. I needed to feel safe again. And I knew the only thing to gave me this shallow feeling of safety was Kris hand. So in front of all the cameras, Exo members and shocked Suho I entwined my fingers with Kris.

• Let’s go – I said.