Amity
Righteousness, Letting Go, Denial, & Ephebophilia
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Sooyoung’s POV
“I need to talk to her.” She says with finality.
Jessica and I are walking together after our classes are over. As much as I want to avoid her, I can’t. She’s my best friend and now she becomes dependant on me. Other than that, I share a room with her, so how could I possibly avoid her?
She told me about her little fight with Tiffany. How she feels terrible towards Tiffany and at the same time, she feels lost due to the information Tiffany slipped out. I don’t know what to tell her also. I mean, what can she do? Clearly, she wants to get back with Yuri. But I highly doubted that could happen. It’s her family we’re talking about here. Or maybe they could runaway? I want them to be happy, I want Jessica to be happy. Nevertheless, my heart stings whenever I think about them together.
“What are you going to say to her?” that reminds me, I also need to talk to Yuri. Not talk, but more apologizing for accusing her like that.
“I.... I don’t know. I just feel the need to talk to her.”
We got into the apartment and find smiling Hyomin on the living room’s couch with cell phone on hand.
“Welcome home you two!” she greets us happily.
“Hey, Hyominnie. You look creepily happy.” Jessica says with a small smile.
“I am.” Hyomin’s smile got wider.
“What makes you so happy?” I walk toward the couch but Jessica is lingering in front of Yuri’s & Tiffany’s room.
“Yuri blesses my relationship.”
“Ah, really? That’s great, Hyominnie!” I pat her shoulder and sit beside her.
“Oh, Yuri’s home already?”
“Yeah, she just got into her room before you guys are here.”
Without further delay, Jessica turns the doorknob of Yuri’s room without knocking, enters the room, and closes it.
Hyomin stares at the door in disbelief, “Did she just enter Yuri’s room?”
I stand up and walk to my room, leaving Hyomin dumbfounded.
I sit on the edge of my bed. My mind is clouded and my heart is hurting. After she broke up with Yuri, Jessica and I cannot be separated. We’re stuck like glue and I got all of her attention. Surely, she’s clueless about my feelings, but somehow I’m still hoping one day she will forget about Yuri and accept my feelings. But now, knowing that I never stood a chance in winning her heart is just suffocating.
“Sooyoung-ah, you okay?” I look up and Hyomin is right in front of me, her smile is gone from her face. She looks worried now.
“Yeah, I’m just....” I can’t even finish my sentence, I’m just what? Hyomin still stands in front of me.
“What’s Jessica doing in Yuri’s room?” she asks carefully.
“Tiffany kinda told her about Yuri’s actual reason.”
Hyomin’s jaw drops.
“Hey.” Suddenly Tiffany enters the room.
“YOU TOLD JESSICA?!” Hyomin immediately turns around to face her.
Tiffany looks surprised but then turns guilty, “I’m not doing it on purpose! She was accusing me of... of something that I didn’t do and I lost control.”
Hyomin is narrowing her eyes suspiciously, “What made you lose control?”
“She accused her for breaking up with Taeyeon because Tae didn’t want to do PDA with her, saying that roommates think alike and both of them are jerks.” Both of them look at me and say nothing. Hyomin finally sits beside me while Tiffany lets out a sigh as she leans on the desk.
“What is Jessica going to say to Yuri?”
I shake my head, “I don’t know. She doesn’t know either, she said she just need to talk to her.”
All of us grow silent. I can’t believe I had hope about Jessica and me. It’s crystal clear for everyone to see that Jessica only belongs to Yuri and vice versa.
Finally I break the silent, “I’m such a fool, falling for her like this.”
“No, you’re not a fool, Soo.” Hyomin instantly put her arm around my shoulder.
“I am. Knowing how strong their love is, I should’ve stopped myself from falling deeper.” I shed unnecessary tears for her before, but not now. I won’t cry this time. I won’t cry for her ever again.
“I don’t think they would get back together. Yuri’s relationship with her mom is different now. She said her mom is warming up to her. She never saw her mom like this before. She made her decision and I don’t think she’s going to change that.” Tiffany tries to tell me that there’s no chance that Yuri and Jessica would be together again, which means there’s still hope for me. But I don’t believe in that.
“They will get back together, Fany-ah. I don’t know when and how, but I get this feeling that they belong to each other. I don’t stand a chance.” Yes, somehow I have a feeling that Yuri and Jessica are made for each other. You just can’t separate them.
“Well then you’ll find someone else, Soo.” Hyomin says to me and Tiffany rubs my arm soothingly.
“Hey, I could ask Sunny to bring his friends over. How about that?” Hyomin tries to warm up the atmosphere. I can’t help to laugh at her offer.
“You think little children can make me feel better?” I ask jokingly.
“They are not little children! And Sunny is definitely not a little child!” she hits my shoulder, pretending to be angry. Tiffany laughs at our little banter. Thank God for having them. I surely would collapse into a puddle of mess if they were not here.
“Here you guys are!” all of a sudden Taeyeon opens the door. No surprise, the atmosphere becomes awkward when she has eye contact with Tiffany. Tiffany, who was laughing earlier, breaks the eye contact immediately and turns solemn.
“I... I was going to order dinner. What do you guys want?” Taeyeon’s gaze turns to us.
“You know what, we handle dinner, while you two..... stay here and fix whatever it is you need to fix.” Hyomin stands up and pulls me up also. Tiffany is looking at her as if begging her not to go. Hyomin didn’t see Tiffany’s pleading eyes and drags me to the door. I push Taeyeon encouragingly from the doorframe into my room and close it.
“Hyomin-ah, would they be okay?” I ask her.
“Yep, don’t worry.” She gives me a wink. “We all need to resolve our problem.”
I smile at her. She puts her arm around my shoulder, “Come on, let’s browse through Sunny’s friends on Facebook.”
I just laugh at her remark and follow her anyway.
If you're tossin' and you're turnin
and you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Every day I will remind you
Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need
You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do oh yeah
Count On Me by Bruno Mars
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