It’s the same tonight. The doe-eye girl sits by the edge of her bed, clutching her heart and the bed sheet. Tears are flowing down from her eyes like no tomorrow, and the pain that she fails to feel is starting to hurt.

It felt as though her father is right here with her, hitting her with whatever he has in his hands, kicking her and punching her like she’s a punching bag. Since young, her small body had been enduring and sustaining all these abuses. She will have new bruises on her body everyday, and people will make fun of her because of it, instead of pitying her. She almost cried out to the non-existence father of hers, to stop hitting her right now.

Her father had been drinking ever since her mother ran away with another man, being unable to withstand his fiery temper and violent behavior. The doe-eye girl and her elder sister became the victims of his abuses after her mother left, mostly the doe-eye girl.

In school, people did not dare to get near her, saying that the bruises are actually a kind of infectious disease and they will get it if they touch her. Some people obviously knew that it’s untrue and decided to take advantage of the fact that she’s helpless, to pick on her constantly. Her pocket money is always taken away and if she refuses to give it to them, they will beat her up. Those days are painful.

The only one who she can turns to is her elder sister. Only in her sister’s embrace, that she can finds comfort and feels safe. Whenever she is left lying in the corridor by those bullies, beaten up, her sister will soon find her and bring her to the nurse office. After a few times, her sister became protective and stayed by her side as much as possible. The bullying stops for that short moment. However, when her sister graduated from the school, it resumed.

She had enough. She doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Soon, she is coping herself at home everyday, in her room where all lights are blocked out. Her sister is obviously worried about her. Everyday, her sister will rush home to accompany her and talk to her, in hope that she will go out soon, but it has no use. With her father beating them up daily, she became even more afraid to go out because of the bruises.

Until that fateful day, when she is seventeen, she heard noises coming from the living room. After coping herself in her room for all these years, she finds it hard to step out from it. So all she did is wait for the noise to die down first. But it didn’t. She makes her way slowly to the door and opens it slightly, peeking out to see her precious sister getting beat up by their father again.

Her father seems to be even more drunk than ever today. She wanted to get out there to save her sister, but her body isn’t acting according to her command. She cursed her own body, screaming at it mentally to ask it to move but it refuses. It hurts her to see her sister getting beat up like this. The next scene, is totally unexpected.

Her father, still completely drunk, grabs the scissors on the table suddenly. The doe-eye girl had a bad feeling about that and her sister couldn’t really move after getting beat up like that.

No… No… don’t… The doe-eye girl prayed hard that what she thought is going to happen, will not happen. But it did. Her drunken father stabbed her sister, with that scissor. I… It can’t be… No…

Tears start to fall out from her eyes as she sees her sister lying on the floor, motionlessly. At that very moment, her heart hurts like never before. It’s as though there’s someone slashing at it, tearing it apart and piercing it endlessly. She clutched her heart instantly and is wide open, but no sound came out. The door closes and she leans against it, panting and sweating profusely. The pain is unbearable.

Unnie… No… She couldn’t stop her tears and the pain. It’s even more painful than all the wounds on her body. Somehow, she spent the whole night like that, bearing with the unbearable pain in her heart. She hates it. She hates that feeling. She doesn’t want to feel it again. It’s hurting so much that she hates it. She opens the door slowly, and saw her father lying on the floor, passed out. Her sister remains motionless and cold when she crawls over to her.

“U…. Unnie…” She called out softly, touching her sister’s face gently. “Unnie…” No matter how many times she calls, her sister did not respond. The pain got worse but she doesn’t want to care anymore. She wants to get out of this dreadful place. She kissed her sister on the cheek and slides her hand down to close her sister’s eyes. “I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry, unnie…”

She got up slowly and grabbed a photo of her sister from the dresser, before running out of the house without even wearing her shoes. She didn’t know how much she had ran and for how long did she run but she knows she’s getting really far from home. Soon, she collapsed on the street, hugging the picture of her sister tightly.

People came to her and helped her. For the first time, people are offering their hands to her. A kind soul even brought her to the hospital, get all her wounds treated and paid for the bills for her. Throughout the process, she refuses to let go of her sister’s picture. Someone offered to take her in and let her live with them, and she did not refuse. She didn’t even talk. After spending one afternoon with those kind people, she ran away during the night.

Going as far as she could with her feet, she soon stops in a city far from her hometown. She sits down on the empty street. She takes a long look at the picture in her hands, and hugs it again. At that moment, she could feel the pain in her heart easing slowly, and somehow, she starts to feel nothing with her heart. She couldn’t feel anything anymore.