Will I be rest assured with my decision? I was not so sure about that neither was I a bit confident about the outcome of my behavior. My mind was all right with it but my heart says the opposite. Last night was terrible, I told Kyuhyun off. I shouldn't have said those things... I was horrible.... too selfish and now I feel bad about the whole ordeal. I shouldn't be right? It was for the best but no matter how I hard I tried to convinced myself that it was indeed for both of us I don't feel anything closer to being happy or the satisfaction that I should feel. What I felt is guilt.

Seunghyun went back to Paris for a week of vacation, leaving me to deal with things alone. Last night, I arrived at home no one was there to comfort me so I ended up crying myself to sleep. Truth is, I didn't get much sleep at all. Going over the things that had happened last night when I woke up didn't do any better for it only brought another round of bawling and crying, making my eyes hurt so bad.

Luhan was the first person who came into my mind. I need to let this out on someone in a way or another before I end up depressing myself again. I know I have said something rather hurtful to him, once again, I bluntly rejected him. Saying sorry for a couple of times wouldn't heal the boy's broken heart but what can I do? I could not teach myself to love someone that I only see as a brother. Moreover, I don't want to hurt someone again, it was enough that I have hurt Donghae oppa before.

Swallowing what was left of my pride I quickly dialed his number, crossing my fingers in the process as I hope that he would answer my call. Fortunately, being the kindhearted man he is, he picked up the phone and immediately agreed to see me.

***

I was running like my life depends on it. My legs were already hurting from the intensive work out, nevertheless I didn't mind the strenuous running for I need to be quick, giving up half way through this would make me feel bad and unworthy of his forgiveness. My heart pondered with every step I take... the hope in seeing him decreases as seconds ticked. I clung onto the straps of my backpack tightly, until my knuckles turned white because of too much pressure implied on both hands. The piece of paper that Luhan gave me ea