Your POV

My face felt like concrete. I forced the food down, trying not to gag and rearranged my facial muscles into a sort of smile.

Youngbae’s frown decreased a bit in intensity as he rubbed my shoulders. A cynical bubble of laughter rose up in my throat but popped before it reached my mouth.

Seunghyun knew me better than that…he’d know that my smile was faker than half the girls that tried to impress him. He knows me better than I know myself.

And just that thought was enough to take away the numbing feeling, instead leaving a black hole smack bang in the middle of my chest.

It every single moment of happiness from the deepest corners of my heart, leaving my body emptier than before.

I didn’t even feel sad…just lonely. So incredibly lonely…enough to suffocate me, even with Youngbae there.

The food was threatening to come spilling right back out and I commanded my limbs into action. Stumbling a bit, I reached the bathroom in time to hurl my insides into the toilet, panting as the nausea ebbed away.

A hand was rubbing my back as I regained my breath. I washed up and returned to the bedroom, looking back to see him on his phone.

I crashed into the bed, mashing my face into the pillow. I wanted to block everything out. Erase everything and start again…but I couldn’t. A gentle touch to the shoulder made me turn around and face Youngbae no matter how much I wanted to disappear.

“___(Your name)___-ah…I know you’re going to say no but let’s go see him. Talk it through you know? Just try for me. It could all be one giant misunderstanding right?”

I know what I saw. And it was something I would never forget. I made no move to deny or accept the offer and he continued on.

“He’s alone at the dorms. The others are at out, filming a variety show. I’ll be right there with you ok?”

Maybe…just maybe…he was right. I nodded slowly, getting up to go change and wash up as Youngbae went back to his phone.

TOP POV

“One hour baby. That’s all I need from you. I’ll make you feel like a man.”

I gaped in disgust, rooted to the spot.

“Here. Now. And the video is in your hands…what do you say?”

I wanted to shake my head, scream a no and tell her I’d rather sleep with a rabid badger than with her. But the video.

The thought of that single file being uploaded for the world to see was enough to get me thinking about the idea.

What about ___(Your name)___?

I’d be hurting her all over again…by cheating on her. But I have to protect her…it’s the least I can do now.

And if that meant offering myself up like a sacrificial goat to a waiting predator then so be it. I looked up into her face…a quiet submission evident in my eyes.

A menacing smile crossed her face as she came to sit next to, placing her hand on my leg and massaging it.

I flinched involuntarily, holding my breath as she paused. Maybe I could stall her.

“How did you get that video?”

She looked at me for a second…as though weighing up her options before she continued to my leg, her nails digging into my thigh.

“Well…I may as well come clean then. By the way…that band mate of yours was a great help. Great party, you know…and when he wants to get down and dirty…he really does it. He’s the one that spiked your drink.”

I froze as a new flash of memories that I couldn’t remember before flashed through my head. The glass…the wine that Youngbae had given me…I remember the intense heat…moments before…and then it went black again.

“He…what did he put in it?”

“Oh that…that was my idea. Let me tell you this. A concentrated aphrodisiac in wine was all it took to knock you out. Hun, you went crazy.”

I clenched my fists as she started kissing my neck. I knew I’d never have done it purposely. But I still did it…and it was that entire bastard’s fault.

“She was all screaming and thrashing around. But no one heard her. The poor . I kinda feel bad for her. You one the other hand…you looked like a beast. A beast preying on an innocent little girl…how’s that for imagery? And then she kinda gave up and you really started going at it.”

She gave up? I’d…I wanted to kill myself. I was worse…definitely worse than the first scumbag. But I had to tear Youngbae to shreds first.

And I couldn’t do anything to Cho Hee until she deleted that video. Fury coursed through every vein now as I gnashed my teeth together trying not to let the angry tears explode.

“Why?” I managed to force out.

“Well…he really wanted that doll of yours. Imagine the angel of Bigbang coming to me and asking me for a plan…crazy huh? Trust me when I say he’s the biggest dumbo-wuss on the planet. It was always…omgiawd what if we hurt her…what if we do this to her…blah…blah..too bad he didn’t really give a about you…”

I don’t care if he did or not…in fact I’d rather he didn’t. That way, it will make it a whole lot easier when I slit his face open.

Cho Hee made her way up my neck and I tried my hardest not to push her away. It was like getting on by a slug.

Her lips started inching their way to mine and I scrunched up my face in disgust until she pulled away for the briefest moment.

“I’m sure the creepy old men out there would love to see an uncensored video of a young…I must admit pretty little girl getting-,”

I crashed my lips onto hers, imagining ___(Your name)___ there instead. It was easier to get through.

The door knob turning didn’t catch my attention until the creak of the door reached my ears.

Instinctively, I shoved Cho Hee away, looking up to be greeted by Youngbae and…___(Your name)___.

Her face remained devoid of emotion but her eyes…an unimaginable anguish radiated from them as she ripped herself away from Youngbae, who was trying to steady her.

She already hated me. Now...I'd imagine medievel torture being at the top of the 'Ways to kill a boyfriend' list.

a/n IT WILL GET BETTER, I PROMISE!!! Keep subscribing and commenting :)