COLOR KEY: OFFICIAL COLORS FOR EXO & I WHEN WE TALK:

• KIM JOON MYUNG/SUHO = BLUE BOLD FONT
• BYUN BAEK HYUN/ BAEKHYUN = YELLOW HIGHLIGHT W/ BOLD DIM GRAY FONT
• PARK CHAN YEOL/ CHANYEOL = RED BOLD FONT
• DO KYUNG SOO/ D.O. = SADDLE BROWN BOLD FONT
• KIM JONG IN/ KAI = DARK GRAY BOLD FONT
• OH SE HOON/ SEHUN = DIM GRAY BOLD FONT
• KIM MIN SEOK/ XIUMIN = TURQUOISE BOLD FONT
• YI LU HAN/ LUHAN = NAVY BOLD FONT
• WU YI FAN/ KRIS = MAROON BOLD FONT
• ZHANG YI XING/ LAY = INDIGO BOLD FONT
• KIM JONG DAE/ CHEN = GOLDEN ROD BOLD FONT
• HUANG ZI TAO/ TAO = BLACK HIGHLIGHT W/ BOLD WHITE FONT
• AUTHOR-NIM/ MYSELF = GREEN BOLD FONT

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*ENTER EXO*

"oh my.."

"waahhh. daebak!"

"noona actually updated!"

"wow. props mei mei."

"psh. way to have faith in me guys ಠ____ಠ "

"oh yeah. noona?!"

"yes kkhamjong?"

"where have you been?"

"work & celebrating a friend's birthday.."

"who is this so called 'friend'?"

"ah. the one and only Kwak Min Jun of course!"

"...no mei. no."

"what?"

"you're not allowed to leave us anymore!"

"I agree with hyung!"

"I second that!"

"omg..stop being such big babies -___-"

"aigoo. is our mei mei not happy."

*Luhan pinches author-nims cheeks & author-nim slaps his hand away*

"le gasp. mei mei just denied my skinship!"

"that's cause you're too much of a skinship monster hyung"

"yeah. hands off Jie Jie."

"alright. alright. stop putting her in a choke hold Tao."

"yeah. let her go. she's turning purple."

*Tao turns to see what his hyungs/ge's were talking about & sees a semi purple jie jie*

"OH MY GUICCI! I'M SO SORRY JIE! FORGIVE ME!~"

*Tao death hugs author-nim and pets her head*

"this is just great.. Joonmyun!"

"Neh, author-nim?"

"start the replies please"

"Ah! arasso!"

"aigoo. kamsa Tokitok!"

"we're glad we can make you smile~"

"Yeah!~ keep on smiling that beautiful smile of yours. okay? :D"

"AHH!!"

"What Yeol?"

"Chamii-ah said her heart stopped! hyung we have to save her!"

*Everyone gives the ಠ____ಠ face while Chanyeol panics*

"oh my buffaloes! I don't know CPR! hyung! do you know CPR?"

"Yeol! relax! she's okay!"

"but..but.. how are you so sure?"

"just have faith okay?"

"fine..only because you say so bacon..but she better be okay."

*Bacon pat's yeol's head*

"wow. you have faith in him but you can't have faith in me?psh"

"jealous mei?"

"very."

"don't be noona~"

"yeah! we lub you berry much jie jie!"

"aigoo. i can always count on the maknaes~"

*author-nim hugs the beaming maknaes*

"yah! what about me?!"

"what about you?"

*Luhan goes and pouts*

"I'm kidding Lu Ge, you know you're one of my favorite"

"I know :^D"

"then why the pout?"

"yeah, geez hyung."

"I swear you just want her attention"

"what's wrong with that?!"

*Luhan hugs author-nim while petting her head*

"wow. is it pet author-nim day?"

"that's what I was going to say!"

"are you secretly a cat?"

"a cat? really Jong Dae?"

"well..are you?"

"oh my gosh. not you too yi fan.."

"what's wrong mei? don't like?"

"seriously wu fan."

"aigoo. i like how you call me by my full name mei mei."

"i call all of you by your real names"

"yeah but I like it."

"you're so weird ge."

"only for you mei~ only for you~"

"oh my buffaloes!"

*Everyone turns to Yeol's direction*

"She's a ninja cat!"

"wow..yeol hyung..just..wow"

*EXO FACEPALM*

"Sanghyuk!~ we don't want to let go either D: "

"she just goes poof!"

"yeah! she just leaves us anyways ಠ益ಠ "

"Mhmm! look at hyung's anger fess!"

"ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ she said she's my bacon friend~"

"hey! she said she was mine too!"

"omg. Yeol! you can't just keep claiming everyone as yours!"

"who said i couldn't?! Mehrong~"

* EXO FACEPALM*

" I know right IIVEEH! wae she leave?"

*XIUMIN does whale cry*

"hyung."

"what?"

"stop"

"no."

"free baozi?"

"done."

"aliyacassieast i'm a bit slow but what does AKTF mean?"

"yeah.. i'm a bit lost too.."

"when are you never lost Ge?"

"what did you say?"

"nothing~ nothing at all~"

"omg! Thehunnie!"

"aish! noona! i said not to call me that!"

"but it's so kyooote!~"

"fine..only because it's you noona~"

"aigoo. our Sehunnie is too cute for words!~"

"yeah no wonder why kellen_1825 likes him so much."

"pshh.. maknaes aways getting the love v-v"

"right? where's our love? *sniffles*"

"I love you Jong Dae"

"thanks."

"what?..did you just?..did he just?.."

"yep. noona."

"he totally did"

"you just got CHEN-ed."

"wow..just..wow.."

"yeah. try living with him"

"i'm kind of afraid too.."

"oh jie jie! it's time!!"

"ah ye!"

*Authornim goes into the kitchen and EXO turns off all the lights*

*Authornim walks in with a huge lit up fruit cake*

"before we leave we just want to say this~"

"Sengil Chuka Hamida to our one and only Duizhang Kris!"

"Happy birthday Ge/hyung!"

"happy birthday Yi Fan"

"thanks guys..i don't know what to say."

"just blow out the candles yi fan"

"YAH! how many times do i have to tell you that it's Ge!"

"FINE! cause it's your birthday, Yi Fan GE!"

"Good!"

*EXO GROUP HUG*

"Thank you all for reading!"

"please stay safe!"

"thank you for the birthday wishes!"

"have a wonderful day/night!"

"SARANGHAE YO!"

"WE ARE ONE!"

"KAMSAMHIDA!"

*EXO EXITS*

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Happy Birthday to our Duizhang Kris!
Keep on smiling with that angry bird fess! haha
We love you!
EXO Hwighting!