Chapter 22
Angel
(A/N COMMENT, PLEASE.)
Baby I'm sorry neowa isseodo nan lonely
Saranghagin naega bujokhanga bwa
Ireon motnan nal yongseohae
[Bom/Minzy]
I'm sorry
[Minzy]
Ige neowa noeui story
Sarangiran naegen gwabunhanga bwa
Ne gyeote isseodo
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
[Bom]
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely Eh Eh
(Lonely - 2NE1)
-Sehun's POV-
We sat in the waiting room. Dad’s face was pale and mom was trying not to cry. Ailee and I were silent. My heart was racing though. Luhan wasn’t okay. Whatever had happened to him when he fell, it had really messed him up.
Finally, a doctor came out and over to us. “Mr. and Mrs. Oh-Xi, Luhan’s not looking too good,” he said.
“Please don’t tell me he’s paralyzed, please,” dad whispered. The doctor shook his head and dad relaxed slightly.
“No, but we’re going to keep him overnight. He will most likely require surgery if you don’t want him to become paralyzed.” he said.
Mom and dad both paled. The doctor sighed.
“Surgery would be his best, and probably only, chance. You can go in with him now, but only for a few minutes. He needs to rest,” he said and we nodded and got up.
We went to Luhan’s room and he looked up at us with terrified eyes.
“Luhan, how are you?” mom asked gently, sitting next to him and carefully grabbing his hand.
“I can’t move and it hurts so bad, Eomma.” he whispered.
“You’re going to be okay, Luhan.” dad whispered. He cleared his throat.
“I need to go outside,” he said quietly and left Luhan’s hospital room.
“I’ll be back, Luhan.” I promised and he nodded slowly at me.
I left and followed dad outside. He lit himself a cigarette shakily and blew out the smoke. “Appa.” I said quietly.
“It’s my fault,” he moaned. “I’m so rough with him. I shouldn’t have thrown him that day, and I should have kept an eye on him. If I had been mature, I wouldn’t have let him climb that stupid tree. Then he never would’ve fallen and gotten hurt. I should’ve watched him. I should’ve been more careful with him.”
He wrapped an arm around me as he took a drag of his cigarette. “I…We didn’t mean to have Luhan. He was an accident. But I loved him so much. Then I let him get hurt. I never forgave myself for that,” he whispered.
“Appa, why are you so mean to him? Why do you hate him?” I asked quietly.
“Because he reminds me of myself,” he choked out. “He’s exactly like I was, and I was a terrible person. I didn’t want him to be like me. Wild, addicted. I was so scared I was going to up with Luhan when he was born, and I did. You and Ailee…I raised you guys okay. Luhan I messed up with, and now he’s in the hospital and he hates me.”
He threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.
“Let’s go inside, appa. He’s scared. He’ll want us there,” I said quietly, suddenly wanting to just be with Luhan.
Dad nodded and we went back inside to Luhan’s hospital room. Mom was trying so hard not to cry. Dad walked over and gently pressed his lips to Luhan’s forehead.
“Mr. and Mrs. Oh-Xi, I have to ask you to leave now.” the doctor said. Mom and dad got up. Mom put an arm around Ailee's shoulders after leaning down and kissing Luhan. “We’ll be back,” she promised him softly.
They walked out of the room and I went over. After making sure we were alone, I pecked him on the lips quick.
“I’m scared, Sehunnie.” he whispered. “You’ll be okay, Luhan. I’ll come back, saranghae.” I said quietly.
“Nado Saranghae.” he whimpered. I kissed him again before leaving the room.
We drove home in silence and all sat in the living room when we got home.
“Eomma, is he going to be okay?” Ailee asked quietly.
“I hope to god,” mom whispered, tears rising in her eyes. Dad hugged her tightly.
“Of course he’ll be okay, Ailee.” dad said. I got up and went to my room, not wanting to be with them anymore. I only wanted to be with Luhan right now, and that just wasn’t possible. That idiot should’ve just learned how to rest. He was so stupid sometimes. He was never careful about his back.
I opened my closet and picked up the Ball. I squeezed my eyes shut and clutched it to my chest tightly. This was all my fault. If he hadn’t gone up the tree to get this stupid ball back, maybe he wouldn’t be in the hospital right now.
“Mianhae, Luhan, Jeongmal Mianhae.” I whispered, opening my eyes and looking down at the ball. “Please let him be okay,” I said silently. If he wasn’t okay, I just don’t know what I would do. It was my fault he was in the hospital.
I just wanted to feel his arms around me. I didn’t want anything but for him to be okay, and to hug me. Maybe even kiss me, if he could forgive me for causing this to happen.
The next day, we went back to the hospital. Luhan was asleep in his room and we sat around him, mom holding his hand tightly.
The doctor came in and looked at my parents.
“We did some tests and if he doesn’t surgery, he’ll become paralyzed,” he said quietly. Mom’s eyes watered and dad put an arm around her and kissed her gently.
“What are the risks of the surgery?” dad asked.
“There is a chance that it could paralyze him, but it’s really better for him. He’ll certainly become paralyzed without it, so I think it’s definitely worth the risk. It’ll leave him in the hospital for 2 weeks to recover and make sure everything has gone well. He’ll be in pain for a while afterwards, but not nearly as much as he’s in now. He’ll probably be bedridden at home for a few weeks.”
Mom and dad looked at each other and got up. They left the room with the doctor and Ailee and I glanced at each other before moving closer to Luhan.
“He’ll be okay, right, Sehun-ah?” Ailee asked me nervously.
“I hope to god he will be, Ailee.” I whispered. Mom and dad came back in a while later.
“Come on kids; we’re going home.” mom said quietly.
She went over and kissed Luhan’s cheek. A tear fell down her face and she looked away from him. Dad went over to him and carefully brushed his hair away from his eyes. “I love you, Luhan. You’re going to be okay,” he whispered.
Not even caring, I leaned over and kissed Luhan’s cheek. “Please be okay, Luhan.” I whispered before getting up. We left the hospital and went home.
“He’s going into surgery tonight.” mom said, her voice shaking. Dad hugged her tightly.
“He’ll be okay,” he whispered. Ailee and I went upstairs and into our rooms to give our parents alone time. Mom wanted to break down, but not in front of us and we knew it.
I picked up the ball off the floor and sat down heavily. “I love you so much Luhan. Not as a brother, but actual love.” I whispered before letting myself cry.
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