Chapter 21: Closure. 

Into A New World-SNSD

The door knob barely an inch away from my fingertips. I needed to hear her out, to listen to her side of the story in a calm manner. If I were to ever find out the truth about Steph’s secret life, it would be through her. I think about all these yet something was telling me that I’m forcing her to drink red rum. 

In the end, all I did was lean against the door. I tilted my head up at the orange glow of the corridor ceiling lamps. Suddenly the sturdy wood gave way. With a high pitch scream, my head landed on the floor. The moment my eyes open. Only to met her shocked ones, I closed them back. 

‘Jessica.’ I wish I had the power to vanish. To disappear with the power of my next breathe. ‘I...’ Damn this world for not being magical. Even though logic told me to get up and all, my body was determined to make me look like a fool.

Instead of assisting me back up, she spoke calmly, ‘I know you are upset, disappointed, cheated and all that. I hide the truth from you against your will. I’m sorry I hid the truth about this whole matter. However, I want you to know I didn't  lie.’ I blink once. My heart pounding. ‘I appreciated your meltdown with audio. I’m glad you voiced out.’ I gulp down as my nerves rose. ‘I meant it. I am here for you. I do like you Jessica shi.’ 

Finally I sat up. My back facing her. I faced the corridor brick wall. Observing the sequence of the rows that the bricks were organized to form the mighty wall. The wall that kept us in and kept them away. In a sense, I moronically laid on the dirty floor without any ounce of judgement towards my inappropriate behaviour. 

So Taeyeon kept the truth. She didn’t want to hurt me. She decided that hiding it was for the better. If she didn’t pass an opinion on me, why should I shove guilt of a wrong decision down ? In addition, she apologise. She admitted the error on her part.

She was even grateful for me yelling all the trash at her. I stood up, turned and faced her warm eyes. The way her eyes could still transmit the sincereity from her to me was baffling. It is simply baffling. If I were her, I’ll be yelling my head right back at myself. I mean I did throw all her goodwill at the ungrateful zone. Why?

How could someone like her be here?

My mouth opened. The deadweight that resides moved a little. All that was produced was a deep exhale. I closed my jaw. She lowered her head. ‘Pat my head if you forgive me.’ I lowered mine in respond. 

A few minutes passed by as our lowered heads said more than words could ever say.